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Substance Abuse
At wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="wisernow" data-source="post: 709722" data-attributes="member: 20373"><p>Welcome to this forum although I know the pain that has brought you here and for that I am sorry for you.</p><p></p><p>I have re read your story several times and it is so similar to what we went through as a family. My son is mentally ill and also has addiction issues. We did everything we could, and it was never enough. The drain was always open asking for more, more and more. I too was the weak link, the enabler. This cost me my sanity, my marriage, and my former life. I hit rock bottom after my son was charged with assault, and finally diagnosed with schizophrenia. I got the mental illness piece, but I couldn't get why he would continue with drugs to the point of violence. Then I had to stop.</p><p></p><p>Please get yourself into therapy. Their demons will eat you alive, and stepping back from this will help you gain some perspective. Your health, your husband's health, the health of the rest of your family are all at risk, as are your savings.</p><p></p><p>Its been a very long road for me. I now have a new life, a new partner, and a relationship with my son. I have detached, and have set firm boundaries with him. Funny but by doing all of that he is starting to gain control of his life. Yes he is stable now, lives in a group home, and is making his choices some of which I may agree with and some of which I don't. He is as SWOT says, a man, not the sweet little boy I used to picture in my mind. </p><p>As a social worker said to me, if things remain the same you get the same. A change is needed.</p><p>Had I of not gotten off the terrible treadmill I fear that neither he nor I would still be alive.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you..others with far more wisdom will be along.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wisernow, post: 709722, member: 20373"] Welcome to this forum although I know the pain that has brought you here and for that I am sorry for you. I have re read your story several times and it is so similar to what we went through as a family. My son is mentally ill and also has addiction issues. We did everything we could, and it was never enough. The drain was always open asking for more, more and more. I too was the weak link, the enabler. This cost me my sanity, my marriage, and my former life. I hit rock bottom after my son was charged with assault, and finally diagnosed with schizophrenia. I got the mental illness piece, but I couldn't get why he would continue with drugs to the point of violence. Then I had to stop. Please get yourself into therapy. Their demons will eat you alive, and stepping back from this will help you gain some perspective. Your health, your husband's health, the health of the rest of your family are all at risk, as are your savings. Its been a very long road for me. I now have a new life, a new partner, and a relationship with my son. I have detached, and have set firm boundaries with him. Funny but by doing all of that he is starting to gain control of his life. Yes he is stable now, lives in a group home, and is making his choices some of which I may agree with and some of which I don't. He is as SWOT says, a man, not the sweet little boy I used to picture in my mind. As a social worker said to me, if things remain the same you get the same. A change is needed. Had I of not gotten off the terrible treadmill I fear that neither he nor I would still be alive. Hugs to you..others with far more wisdom will be along. [/QUOTE]
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