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Substance Abuse
At wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="dayatatime" data-source="post: 709737" data-attributes="member: 17805"><p>I just want to add a voice to say that I don't think you did a bad thing by calling the police. I think you took a big step toward breaking the patterns when you did that and that you deserve a lot of credit. Maybe you can reframe it a one of the most difficult, or painful things you have done. It can be difficult and painful without being a mistake.</p><p></p><p>Contacting the mental health crisis people sounds like a good idea. That's the sort of thing I need to do for myself- so I can know I did what I could. And, honestly, your husband's idea of calling the cops again sounds like how I would handle things. But we each have to do what's right for us. If you aren't ready I respect that. </p><p></p><p>It doesn't surprise me that making a boundary-- like the arrest-- led to an escalation. The escalation, though, as long as everyone survives it, is temporary. Shifting the patterns is longterm. And reeeeaaaalllly hard work. </p><p></p><p>There's a 12-step slogan I love that explains what happens when we start saying no:</p><p>"When you stop people pleasing, people stop being pleased." Your son is going to be very angry at you. You can survive his anger. You know what is right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dayatatime, post: 709737, member: 17805"] I just want to add a voice to say that I don't think you did a bad thing by calling the police. I think you took a big step toward breaking the patterns when you did that and that you deserve a lot of credit. Maybe you can reframe it a one of the most difficult, or painful things you have done. It can be difficult and painful without being a mistake. Contacting the mental health crisis people sounds like a good idea. That's the sort of thing I need to do for myself- so I can know I did what I could. And, honestly, your husband's idea of calling the cops again sounds like how I would handle things. But we each have to do what's right for us. If you aren't ready I respect that. It doesn't surprise me that making a boundary-- like the arrest-- led to an escalation. The escalation, though, as long as everyone survives it, is temporary. Shifting the patterns is longterm. And reeeeaaaalllly hard work. There's a 12-step slogan I love that explains what happens when we start saying no: "When you stop people pleasing, people stop being pleased." Your son is going to be very angry at you. You can survive his anger. You know what is right. [/QUOTE]
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