Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
At wits end
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful parent" data-source="post: 758282" data-attributes="member: 21585"><p>It is very hard to get the facts down on a website, I really did not make any accusations to the other grandmother or tell her of my suspicions about my son being the one who is being abused which has now be confirmed. When the child was born he had drugs in his system. The other grandmother already has custody of her daughters other two children. When the baby was born we spoke about the baby and the hope that my son and his girlfriend can keep him, and the fact that we needed to keep an eye on the situation for the child's safety after he was born. This was a mutual conversation. So my son and his girlfriend have been doing their own destructive thing for the last couple of years. I have been detaching and not giving them money except for on his birthday in February where the money took too long to go through which caused me more abuse. Therefore they don't let me see the baby or have anything to do with them. I handled that. And have just got on with my own life. So then begins the dysfunction of the last couple of months, violence on both sides, ice use on both sides, we had our son home for a month in our custody on bail, where I learnt all the home truths of what has been going on over the last couple of years. At court his girlfriend spoke up in his defence as she wanted him home. He went home on a 12 month bond, since then he has been stabbed in the head, she has brought another bloke home and trashed the house and broke a window, but as the solicitor said "not a dam thing he can do about it as she can turn it around and send him straight back to jail." So getting back to ringing the other grandmother. I had genuine concerns for this little boys safety but definately still don't want the child taken from them as I know they love him. So I rang my son's girlfriends mother to have a genuine conversation about the child's safety and what our next step should be. But she probably rightly so has had a gut full of the situation and abused me before I had even said my first sentence which was explaining my call. So no I didn't say anything wrong and did only want to discuss with her thoughts on the situation as she still sees them all the time so knows more then I do whether he is safe or not. The reason she still has a relationship with them is because she is still giving them money. So this still hasn't helped me. I still don't know what to do about the little boy, but am thinking now due to my detachment from them I can see the dangers for the child clearer than she does. I understand they have run her into the ground as she has still been dealing with them for the period I had detached. I do agree with you about how to handle the abusive calls and shall practice what you have said. I have been pretty good, when he abuses me I hang up and turn the phone off for a couple of days. But each week he keeps ringing. Since having him home for a month with us though his attitude to us has been a lot better. We had long talks and discussed his addiction and spoke about how to make healthier decision which I think he has taken some of on board and is trying. But after being abused by my sons girlfriends mother I have decided to step back and detach again, as it is up to my son to speak up and tell the truth about what is going on. If he keeps lying for her, and keeps using drugs himself than I need to step back. I am also going to step back from the idea of protecting the little boy and let the system take care of it, as I'm sure someone will eventually step in. You would think that the police would report it as they are called to the house every other week. If I have said any thing I shouldn't then please just delete my thread. I'm still not sure how this all works. Thank you for your comments.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful parent, post: 758282, member: 21585"] It is very hard to get the facts down on a website, I really did not make any accusations to the other grandmother or tell her of my suspicions about my son being the one who is being abused which has now be confirmed. When the child was born he had drugs in his system. The other grandmother already has custody of her daughters other two children. When the baby was born we spoke about the baby and the hope that my son and his girlfriend can keep him, and the fact that we needed to keep an eye on the situation for the child's safety after he was born. This was a mutual conversation. So my son and his girlfriend have been doing their own destructive thing for the last couple of years. I have been detaching and not giving them money except for on his birthday in February where the money took too long to go through which caused me more abuse. Therefore they don't let me see the baby or have anything to do with them. I handled that. And have just got on with my own life. So then begins the dysfunction of the last couple of months, violence on both sides, ice use on both sides, we had our son home for a month in our custody on bail, where I learnt all the home truths of what has been going on over the last couple of years. At court his girlfriend spoke up in his defence as she wanted him home. He went home on a 12 month bond, since then he has been stabbed in the head, she has brought another bloke home and trashed the house and broke a window, but as the solicitor said "not a dam thing he can do about it as she can turn it around and send him straight back to jail." So getting back to ringing the other grandmother. I had genuine concerns for this little boys safety but definately still don't want the child taken from them as I know they love him. So I rang my son's girlfriends mother to have a genuine conversation about the child's safety and what our next step should be. But she probably rightly so has had a gut full of the situation and abused me before I had even said my first sentence which was explaining my call. So no I didn't say anything wrong and did only want to discuss with her thoughts on the situation as she still sees them all the time so knows more then I do whether he is safe or not. The reason she still has a relationship with them is because she is still giving them money. So this still hasn't helped me. I still don't know what to do about the little boy, but am thinking now due to my detachment from them I can see the dangers for the child clearer than she does. I understand they have run her into the ground as she has still been dealing with them for the period I had detached. I do agree with you about how to handle the abusive calls and shall practice what you have said. I have been pretty good, when he abuses me I hang up and turn the phone off for a couple of days. But each week he keeps ringing. Since having him home for a month with us though his attitude to us has been a lot better. We had long talks and discussed his addiction and spoke about how to make healthier decision which I think he has taken some of on board and is trying. But after being abused by my sons girlfriends mother I have decided to step back and detach again, as it is up to my son to speak up and tell the truth about what is going on. If he keeps lying for her, and keeps using drugs himself than I need to step back. I am also going to step back from the idea of protecting the little boy and let the system take care of it, as I'm sure someone will eventually step in. You would think that the police would report it as they are called to the house every other week. If I have said any thing I shouldn't then please just delete my thread. I'm still not sure how this all works. Thank you for your comments. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
At wits end
Top