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Attachment issues...
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<blockquote data-quote="savior no more" data-source="post: 682335" data-attributes="member: 19838"><p>Your thoughts on attachment hit a cord with me. I was not adopted, however, when I was a baby my father had medical problems and my mother was with him in the hospital and I was left with their friends from the age of 6 months to over a year old. During this time I'm sure my mother dealt with stress and I didn't have the optimum bonding or attachment then. How I dealt with it in later life was to try to "over attach" to anything or anyone that would give me attention. Various obsessions I think were in an attempt to feel connected to - such as food or shopping, etc. I had an intact family through all of the years, but the older I get the more I realize that birth to three years and attachment are huge issues - I can only imagine how some abandoned infants who later become adopted may react. </p><p></p><p>Another possible resonse to lack of attention to needs is to become insulated to others and not know the depth of emotions others can feel due to the self (infant) never getting validation and feedback from their own needs. Of course knowing how it develops doesn't give a solution on how to help them or deal with the pain of disregard, however, I think it might be a start. Some of it could be just plain old teen years. My daughter became better when she reached 20 or so, but there are a few years I didn't like her. She had proper attachment. My Difficult Child son didn't. I had post-partum depression which I know affected my ability to respond to his needs. There is more research being done in psychology in the area of attachment and relationships and how to create this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="savior no more, post: 682335, member: 19838"] Your thoughts on attachment hit a cord with me. I was not adopted, however, when I was a baby my father had medical problems and my mother was with him in the hospital and I was left with their friends from the age of 6 months to over a year old. During this time I'm sure my mother dealt with stress and I didn't have the optimum bonding or attachment then. How I dealt with it in later life was to try to "over attach" to anything or anyone that would give me attention. Various obsessions I think were in an attempt to feel connected to - such as food or shopping, etc. I had an intact family through all of the years, but the older I get the more I realize that birth to three years and attachment are huge issues - I can only imagine how some abandoned infants who later become adopted may react. Another possible resonse to lack of attention to needs is to become insulated to others and not know the depth of emotions others can feel due to the self (infant) never getting validation and feedback from their own needs. Of course knowing how it develops doesn't give a solution on how to help them or deal with the pain of disregard, however, I think it might be a start. Some of it could be just plain old teen years. My daughter became better when she reached 20 or so, but there are a few years I didn't like her. She had proper attachment. My Difficult Child son didn't. I had post-partum depression which I know affected my ability to respond to his needs. There is more research being done in psychology in the area of attachment and relationships and how to create this. [/QUOTE]
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