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Attachment issues...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 682350" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Sorry, insane. Sorry, soapbox.</p><p></p><p>Every foster child we ever had willingly called us mom and dad. Although, copa, I believe your perception about your son bonding, calling a parent a coveted name doesnt show a bond. Goneboy called us dad and mom at once too.</p><p></p><p>It is the behavior that indicates a bond. For example. Copa, like your son did, my sonic was two when we met him and he bonded at once and is still very bonded. Never questioned that as his behavior toward us is obvious. Princess smiled at me and bonded instantly at six months. During her worst years, hobestly, she just wanted us to love her. Goneboy,,,we missed the subtle clues of attachment didorder because he was so well behaved and acted content until he was almost 25, when he met his wife. And the child we adopted who killed our animals etc. knew how to act normal in front of adults and how to terrify five sets of his foster parents children into silence.</p><p></p><p>He admitted to assaulting even infants in various homes by the time he was five and in an early foster home. This was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after he had finally been caught.</p><p></p><p>This issue in my opinion needs to be addressed in detail to prosoective adoptive parents of all stripes. The state specialists in this also need to be given to everyone so they know who to contact if this becomes an issue.</p><p></p><p>Yes, all countries prefer them out of their system, but then they still may face failed adoptions. After we heard what this second child had done, we called to have him permanently removed. He was really not suitable for family life. He did not miss us...his diagnosis, which I doubt anyone would dispute given his history and remorseless harm of others, was severe reactive attahment disorder. Asked if he missed us, he said, "the toys," when asked why he did the other stuff, he shrugged. I believe he doesnt know why...probably blocked out his own abuse, which must have happened.</p><p></p><p>He is 23 now and I fear for anyone who trusts him. His good guy act is so perfected. He was listed as a sexual predator. He did not, to any adults who knew him, even act sexually interested. He seemed to almost lack any interest. I know why he was so careful now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 682350, member: 1550"] Sorry, insane. Sorry, soapbox. Every foster child we ever had willingly called us mom and dad. Although, copa, I believe your perception about your son bonding, calling a parent a coveted name doesnt show a bond. Goneboy called us dad and mom at once too. It is the behavior that indicates a bond. For example. Copa, like your son did, my sonic was two when we met him and he bonded at once and is still very bonded. Never questioned that as his behavior toward us is obvious. Princess smiled at me and bonded instantly at six months. During her worst years, hobestly, she just wanted us to love her. Goneboy,,,we missed the subtle clues of attachment didorder because he was so well behaved and acted content until he was almost 25, when he met his wife. And the child we adopted who killed our animals etc. knew how to act normal in front of adults and how to terrify five sets of his foster parents children into silence. He admitted to assaulting even infants in various homes by the time he was five and in an early foster home. This was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after he had finally been caught. This issue in my opinion needs to be addressed in detail to prosoective adoptive parents of all stripes. The state specialists in this also need to be given to everyone so they know who to contact if this becomes an issue. Yes, all countries prefer them out of their system, but then they still may face failed adoptions. After we heard what this second child had done, we called to have him permanently removed. He was really not suitable for family life. He did not miss us...his diagnosis, which I doubt anyone would dispute given his history and remorseless harm of others, was severe reactive attahment disorder. Asked if he missed us, he said, "the toys," when asked why he did the other stuff, he shrugged. I believe he doesnt know why...probably blocked out his own abuse, which must have happened. He is 23 now and I fear for anyone who trusts him. His good guy act is so perfected. He was listed as a sexual predator. He did not, to any adults who knew him, even act sexually interested. He seemed to almost lack any interest. I know why he was so careful now. [/QUOTE]
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