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Attachment issues...
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<blockquote data-quote="ksm" data-source="post: 682359" data-attributes="member: 12511"><p>Back history on my two DGD's.</p><p></p><p>J (just turned 18 today) always seemed out going and friendly as a small child. I noticed at doctor appointments she would grab a kids book and crawl up on a strange mans lap...if he would let her. At about 6 to 10 years old she didn't have any close friends at school. But she didn't seem to notice or care. She had A (DGD almost 16) around to play with and to boss around. Always had to choose the games, always had to be the princess and A had to be the servant who got the crown. When we would meet a new friend, like on vacation, and a child in the next condo, J would cry that she was loosing her best friend at the end of the week. In high school, J only seems to be able to keep a friend for several months. I think she is too overwhelming to people. It is hard to describe, but she kind of turns on the schmooze...is over the top on words and actions. I think it is just too much for "normal" teens. She hugs on people and won't let go. She even takes on an affected speech pattern... Like she is playing a part in a play.</p><p></p><p>And when friendships go bad, and the person treats her really awful, it isn't long before she is willing to get all involved again...and gets hurt again...</p><p></p><p>A is like the polar opposite of J. As a child she was withdrawn, shy. Didn't use verbal language as early as most children. Oh, she understood everything, but would just point at what she wanted, or let her older sister tell other adults what she wanted. She was a good student, very thoughtful of others. She had some friends. By 8th grade, I think anxiety issues got really bad. She has cut in the past, and even recently. Not dangerously, attempting suicide type cuts...but small thin lines on her arm. A is very good at learning things, like math and science, but is ok with doing the least amount to just barely pass.</p><p></p><p>Last week she was finishing up a drivers education class, she had to do a series of online quizzes in a set amount of time. I had to remind her to do the quizzes every thing me. She never read the book that was provided, but was able to pass the 16 quizzes and the final exam by getting the bare minimum of questions correct. But, she said she was hurt that I didn't tell her I was proud of her for passing! I explained that I would have been prouder if she had studied and done her best, even if it was the same grade she got by not studying.</p><p></p><p>Both girls have a love hate relationship with biomom. They keep getting sucked in to moms promises. I think they so want her to love them that they know it just sets them up to be hurt again and again. But they get their hopes up every time. </p><p></p><p>Hope this info explains more... KSM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ksm, post: 682359, member: 12511"] Back history on my two DGD's. J (just turned 18 today) always seemed out going and friendly as a small child. I noticed at doctor appointments she would grab a kids book and crawl up on a strange mans lap...if he would let her. At about 6 to 10 years old she didn't have any close friends at school. But she didn't seem to notice or care. She had A (DGD almost 16) around to play with and to boss around. Always had to choose the games, always had to be the princess and A had to be the servant who got the crown. When we would meet a new friend, like on vacation, and a child in the next condo, J would cry that she was loosing her best friend at the end of the week. In high school, J only seems to be able to keep a friend for several months. I think she is too overwhelming to people. It is hard to describe, but she kind of turns on the schmooze...is over the top on words and actions. I think it is just too much for "normal" teens. She hugs on people and won't let go. She even takes on an affected speech pattern... Like she is playing a part in a play. And when friendships go bad, and the person treats her really awful, it isn't long before she is willing to get all involved again...and gets hurt again... A is like the polar opposite of J. As a child she was withdrawn, shy. Didn't use verbal language as early as most children. Oh, she understood everything, but would just point at what she wanted, or let her older sister tell other adults what she wanted. She was a good student, very thoughtful of others. She had some friends. By 8th grade, I think anxiety issues got really bad. She has cut in the past, and even recently. Not dangerously, attempting suicide type cuts...but small thin lines on her arm. A is very good at learning things, like math and science, but is ok with doing the least amount to just barely pass. Last week she was finishing up a drivers education class, she had to do a series of online quizzes in a set amount of time. I had to remind her to do the quizzes every thing me. She never read the book that was provided, but was able to pass the 16 quizzes and the final exam by getting the bare minimum of questions correct. But, she said she was hurt that I didn't tell her I was proud of her for passing! I explained that I would have been prouder if she had studied and done her best, even if it was the same grade she got by not studying. Both girls have a love hate relationship with biomom. They keep getting sucked in to moms promises. I think they so want her to love them that they know it just sets them up to be hurt again and again. But they get their hopes up every time. Hope this info explains more... KSM [/QUOTE]
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