A
AmericanGirl
Guest
Have any of you attended open AA meetings? Did it help?
I went to CR last night. Small crowd so they combined women's issues and women's chemical dependent small groups. About 25 but I was the only one who wasn't an addict.
I learned a lot. Kind of got to stand in their shoes and hear the deep, guttural pain an addict experiences. These ladies knew each other well. Many live in a sober house together so they were brutally honest and very supportive of each other.
When it was my turn to share, I was cognizant that I was "on the other side" but stayed true to my story. While I didn't want to hurt them, I felt somewhat validated to say how much difficult child hurt me in a group of "his" kind. Not being judgmental. I want to say these things to difficult child and have him acknowledge my pain but now isn't the right time. To tell them and to listen to one young woman talk about her guilt at troubling her father cause he has to drive her everywhere helped to heal some of my anger.
When it got to the point where crosstalk was ok, two women responded to her. I decided to do so too. I told her I was living her father's life with my son and had been to court twice plus returned him to rehab in the last week. I said I believed addiction was a disease and that no one would willingly choose this for themselves. So, driving him to a meeting or rehab was the same as driving him to chemo if he had cancer. However, it was HIS responsibility to listen to the professionals and to do his part.
I cannot describe how much better I felt afterward. I went to that young woman and asked if I could hug her and told her to stay strong. The women were so sweet and told me they were glad I came.
I want to have this discussion with difficult child. I pray I will someday. But, for now, this helped.
Hopefully, this CR will combine groups again soon.
I went to CR last night. Small crowd so they combined women's issues and women's chemical dependent small groups. About 25 but I was the only one who wasn't an addict.
I learned a lot. Kind of got to stand in their shoes and hear the deep, guttural pain an addict experiences. These ladies knew each other well. Many live in a sober house together so they were brutally honest and very supportive of each other.
When it was my turn to share, I was cognizant that I was "on the other side" but stayed true to my story. While I didn't want to hurt them, I felt somewhat validated to say how much difficult child hurt me in a group of "his" kind. Not being judgmental. I want to say these things to difficult child and have him acknowledge my pain but now isn't the right time. To tell them and to listen to one young woman talk about her guilt at troubling her father cause he has to drive her everywhere helped to heal some of my anger.
When it got to the point where crosstalk was ok, two women responded to her. I decided to do so too. I told her I was living her father's life with my son and had been to court twice plus returned him to rehab in the last week. I said I believed addiction was a disease and that no one would willingly choose this for themselves. So, driving him to a meeting or rehab was the same as driving him to chemo if he had cancer. However, it was HIS responsibility to listen to the professionals and to do his part.
I cannot describe how much better I felt afterward. I went to that young woman and asked if I could hug her and told her to stay strong. The women were so sweet and told me they were glad I came.
I want to have this discussion with difficult child. I pray I will someday. But, for now, this helped.
Hopefully, this CR will combine groups again soon.