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Autistic kids can be helped
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 19851" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>"I've seen stats that indicate only 3 in 100 can be independent completely".</p><p></p><p>Something to consider - we are making HUGE progress in understanding and 'treating' autism. Our autistic kids are being permitted to adapt, being supported more and generally getting the chances to USE what abilities they have and still get the support they still need. It is still early days for many of the younger generation for whom there has been better understanding and more support. I'm hoping that we will see that 3 in 100 improve slowly over the next ten years, as those currently in school begin to enter the workforce or further education with a higher level of support than was available in previous groups.</p><p></p><p>There are still many hurdles to overcome. It's not all roses, not easy even when they're adults, but it's easier than it was one, two or three generations ago.</p><p></p><p>My goal is for my boys to live and work independently. I'm prepared to be there for them as long as they need me, but I will be delighted when I see them functioning independently. I know for difficult child 1 he's going to need a live-in carer. Right now that looks like his long-term girlfriend could be it. It's a co-dependent relationship but in a positive way. They support one another and together, they can function much better than either can as individuals.</p><p>That's not a perfect result for him, but it's much better than I anticipated even five years ago. And just today difficult child 1 had an interview with a disabilities employment service who are working to place him in an apprenticeship - and HE found the job!</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 - while he still has a long way to go, especially with social skills, I'm beginning to see some glimmerings of potential independence in him. He's planning a career path in either computer programming or database work, or some area of computer technician expertise. He's already a fair way down that road, having begun teaching himself programming a few years ago and already working to fix other people's computers.</p><p></p><p>In difficult child 3's drama group most are still school-age, but the few that are not - more than half are working at least part-time. Some of it is assisted employment, but it's a job. They are learning to integrate into the workforce. Admittedly, these kids would all qualify as high-functioning autistic, because they are now capable of communicating. According to our stats, about half of autistic kids are high-functioning. The half that are not - I agree, living independently is not an option. But the half that are high-functioning - their chances are improving with each passing year.</p><p></p><p>Our kids do take a lot longer to make less progress, but they do still make progress. Sometimes it seems like two steps forward, two steps back, but they are constantly trying, in most cases. easy child 2/difficult child 2 is 20. She finished high school within weeks of turning 17. But only now is she beginning to do the further study that will see her in a career of her choosing. She has taken three years to get the confidence in herself (and the personal skills) to be able to attempt this.</p><p>difficult child 1 is 23. By the time I was 23 I was married, had half-completed a university degree, had bought some land with husband and was mapping out my life. But difficult child 1 simply isn't there yet. He's where I was at 17. He might actually be qualified in a trade by the time he's 30, instead of 20. But I do believe he will get there.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes simply having that belief can make a big difference in the outcome.</p><p></p><p>And one final point - a woman I know was believed, in her words, "to be mentally retarded". She barely went to school at all after the age of 10 and when she WAS at school she missed a lot due to ill-health and never had any support in the classroom. Talking to her, you realise she is uneducated and not too bright. But she's got a lovely, happy personality and is a fighter for disabled rights. She has accomplished a great deal by knowing the regulations and getting perfunctory wheelchair services upgraded to the level where they actually can be used. She would go in and test new disabled toilets, to make sure that they COULD be used. Too often they could not - the door would open the wrong way, the lid on the seat would not lift up (truly!) and in one case the door would not latch, allowing anyone to open the door for everyone right down the public hallway to see the disabled person on the toilet. She got it all fixed.</p><p>After being told she should never have kids, she gave birth to and raised twins. Her husband was physically abusive, so she divorced him.</p><p>She asked me to help her publish her story. What she sent me at first she had typed laboriously on her computer. I could hardly understand it, her spelling and typing was so atrocious. But she slowly improved with practice and taught herself many other computer skills. Now, her book has just gone into reprints, she has recorded it onto CD herself, she is now selling CDs and MP3 files of it along with PDF copies, all on computer disc. And all of this is self-taught. She lives alone. She needs a lot of support as she is quadriplegic (with some minimal use of her hands). She still drives a car.</p><p>She sells these books and CD packages herself, promotes them herself and is STILL an activist.</p><p>When she left school she worked in a sheltered workshop until she married. She is just one more disabled person who has done far more than anyone ever expected would be possible.</p><p></p><p>"No man is an island, entire unto himself." John Donne. </p><p>It means that we all rely on others to help in t his way or that. Our difficult child kids are no different - they may need support, but we all do that. Increasingly, more formalised support is there to ensure that our kids can live as independently as possible, within their limitations.</p><p>Maybe difficult child 3 will never leave home. Maybe he will never work full-time. But if he can be happy, doing his best in whatever he does, enjoying life as best he can, I will be glad for him. Whatever we can get, we'll take gladly.</p><p></p><p>Have hope. It really does make a difference.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 19851, member: 1991"] "I've seen stats that indicate only 3 in 100 can be independent completely". Something to consider - we are making HUGE progress in understanding and 'treating' autism. Our autistic kids are being permitted to adapt, being supported more and generally getting the chances to USE what abilities they have and still get the support they still need. It is still early days for many of the younger generation for whom there has been better understanding and more support. I'm hoping that we will see that 3 in 100 improve slowly over the next ten years, as those currently in school begin to enter the workforce or further education with a higher level of support than was available in previous groups. There are still many hurdles to overcome. It's not all roses, not easy even when they're adults, but it's easier than it was one, two or three generations ago. My goal is for my boys to live and work independently. I'm prepared to be there for them as long as they need me, but I will be delighted when I see them functioning independently. I know for difficult child 1 he's going to need a live-in carer. Right now that looks like his long-term girlfriend could be it. It's a co-dependent relationship but in a positive way. They support one another and together, they can function much better than either can as individuals. That's not a perfect result for him, but it's much better than I anticipated even five years ago. And just today difficult child 1 had an interview with a disabilities employment service who are working to place him in an apprenticeship - and HE found the job! difficult child 3 - while he still has a long way to go, especially with social skills, I'm beginning to see some glimmerings of potential independence in him. He's planning a career path in either computer programming or database work, or some area of computer technician expertise. He's already a fair way down that road, having begun teaching himself programming a few years ago and already working to fix other people's computers. In difficult child 3's drama group most are still school-age, but the few that are not - more than half are working at least part-time. Some of it is assisted employment, but it's a job. They are learning to integrate into the workforce. Admittedly, these kids would all qualify as high-functioning autistic, because they are now capable of communicating. According to our stats, about half of autistic kids are high-functioning. The half that are not - I agree, living independently is not an option. But the half that are high-functioning - their chances are improving with each passing year. Our kids do take a lot longer to make less progress, but they do still make progress. Sometimes it seems like two steps forward, two steps back, but they are constantly trying, in most cases. easy child 2/difficult child 2 is 20. She finished high school within weeks of turning 17. But only now is she beginning to do the further study that will see her in a career of her choosing. She has taken three years to get the confidence in herself (and the personal skills) to be able to attempt this. difficult child 1 is 23. By the time I was 23 I was married, had half-completed a university degree, had bought some land with husband and was mapping out my life. But difficult child 1 simply isn't there yet. He's where I was at 17. He might actually be qualified in a trade by the time he's 30, instead of 20. But I do believe he will get there. Sometimes simply having that belief can make a big difference in the outcome. And one final point - a woman I know was believed, in her words, "to be mentally retarded". She barely went to school at all after the age of 10 and when she WAS at school she missed a lot due to ill-health and never had any support in the classroom. Talking to her, you realise she is uneducated and not too bright. But she's got a lovely, happy personality and is a fighter for disabled rights. She has accomplished a great deal by knowing the regulations and getting perfunctory wheelchair services upgraded to the level where they actually can be used. She would go in and test new disabled toilets, to make sure that they COULD be used. Too often they could not - the door would open the wrong way, the lid on the seat would not lift up (truly!) and in one case the door would not latch, allowing anyone to open the door for everyone right down the public hallway to see the disabled person on the toilet. She got it all fixed. After being told she should never have kids, she gave birth to and raised twins. Her husband was physically abusive, so she divorced him. She asked me to help her publish her story. What she sent me at first she had typed laboriously on her computer. I could hardly understand it, her spelling and typing was so atrocious. But she slowly improved with practice and taught herself many other computer skills. Now, her book has just gone into reprints, she has recorded it onto CD herself, she is now selling CDs and MP3 files of it along with PDF copies, all on computer disc. And all of this is self-taught. She lives alone. She needs a lot of support as she is quadriplegic (with some minimal use of her hands). She still drives a car. She sells these books and CD packages herself, promotes them herself and is STILL an activist. When she left school she worked in a sheltered workshop until she married. She is just one more disabled person who has done far more than anyone ever expected would be possible. "No man is an island, entire unto himself." John Donne. It means that we all rely on others to help in t his way or that. Our difficult child kids are no different - they may need support, but we all do that. Increasingly, more formalised support is there to ensure that our kids can live as independently as possible, within their limitations. Maybe difficult child 3 will never leave home. Maybe he will never work full-time. But if he can be happy, doing his best in whatever he does, enjoying life as best he can, I will be glad for him. Whatever we can get, we'll take gladly. Have hope. It really does make a difference. Marg [/QUOTE]
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