Baby Care Experience (before becoming a mom)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Old-hand, Mar 9, 2018.

  1. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I changed the kids a lot anyway.

    My cheapskate first hubby told me not to change them so much because it cost too much...it wouldn't kill them to be a little wet!!!

    That was right up there with "Why do you always flush? You're wasting water!"
     
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  2. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Absolutely, SOT! I'm totally with you on regular changing, regardless of what type of diapers are in use.

    Even though I never used disposable diapers, I remember when diaper makers came out with refastenable tapes, so you could pop open a tape on one side of the diaper to check for wetness, then fasten the tape again.
     
  3. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Yep, I got yelled at for wasting diapers by a parent who's son was in disposables because "you don't have to change them as soon as they wet!"

    Was a bit of an affront to a kid who toilet trained herself before she could walk properly because she so hated being wet/soiled.

    I used to stand up and scream for the potty, at which point the nearest adult would swoop me up and make a mad dash.

    I spoke early and walked late (hip issue), which was good for letting carers know what I needed, though one day at the park, when I told my mother I was too hot and wanted to go home (at 9 mos), a lady sitting next to my mother told her she should slap me for ordering "her mother around".
     
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I was not at all prepared for anything baby related. Looking back, I had postpartum depression; along with a colicky intense 10 pound newborn, a useless husband, little to no help, all while recovering from a C-section while my boss kept calling and asking when I was coming back to work.

    That was not one of the happiest times of my life.
     
  5. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    When my mother was carrying me, it was still in the days where you "gave up your job" when you started "showing", and you didn't get your job back once you had the baby.

    There was no boss yelling at her to come back to work, just a dad taking on yet another job. A woman with a baby couldn't get a job back then. (1960)., and a complicated recovery from a C-section with her baby in "the nursery".

    My sister was born in 1963, similar scenario except mom wasn't working. She went back to work in 1969 when my sister started 1st grade. (kindergarten back then was half a day).
     
  6. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Before I had my first child at 31, I had held an infant twice for about one minute each time, had never changed a diaper, fed or burped a baby. I had one sibling, 2 years younger, and never babysat for kids that weren't potty trained.

    I was very nervous with my first. He was a few weeks earlier and SO tiny. I was afraid I would break him. I was too nervous to even cut his nails. In fact, H handled nail cutting and temperature taking for all 5 kids as those were things I just could not bring myself to do. I did get better at changing, dressing, burping, feeding etc but I never got the hang of nail cutting. I remember my mother in law wanted to take oldest boy's temperature rectally once and I threatened to call the police! He was too young for an oral thermometer and the underarm, forehead and digital ones didn't exist yet. I locked myself and the baby in the bathroom until H got home. I didn't think the thermometer was necessary - it was obvious to me the baby had a fever. H disagreed and he took the temperature, rectally, while I cried. I think I was the first person to buy the ear thermometer when it came out.
     
  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    When my mother broke her wrist and was in a cast, she asked me to clip her nails.

    I found the nail clippers, looked at those delicate, knobby-jointed, aged fingers, and had a panic attack.

    Mom had to call my sister to come out and cut her nails. I don't think I could clip a baby's nails at all.

    I can clip cat and dog claws without problem, and have rasped and nippered horse hooves, but human nails? Nope.
     
  8. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    While I don't believe cloth diapers are the absolute silver-lining in early toilet training, I believe they make for a very soggy and uncomfortable bottom compared to disposables, which I do believe plays a big factor in a child wanting out of them.

    No early training in our house.
     
  9. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    That's a hard on for sure. So happy you were able to weather the storm while maintaining your health.

    Sheesh... 10 pound baby! Wow! That wasn't a baby, that was a linebacker! :)
     
  10. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Oh wow, I remember when kindergarten was half a day! I lived it! Thanks for the walk down memory lane, GN! :)

    Those were the good old days!
     
  11. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    I admire those like yourself who entered motherhood with little to no experience. You were a real trooper. Even with all of the experience I had, I still remember scratching my head when certain things popped-up.

    I was comfortable with all of it, nail-clipping, too, even though I had never clipped a baby's nails prior to my own children's.

    I do believe motherhood is instilled in our blood. :)
     
  12. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    I can totally relate. My husband cannot, and will not tend to an eye injury or anything related to a human eye. His stomach just can't, well, stomach it.
     
  13. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    My current husband (not ex...he was pretty useless with the kids) had never had a child before Sonic and Jumper and he did everything I did with them. We did not always or even often take on old gender roles that I don't think exist as much today as they did back when Mom stayed home all day.

    My son always did as much for his son as his ex did. I saw him feeding, diaper changing cooking etc. My daughters boyfriend changes diapers, changes clothes, cooks, etc. He cleans the house with her too. I am not sure but I don't think they are unusual. Not anymore.

    As far as early potty training I didn't care about that at all. I figured they'd do it when ready. In my house, the girls were early and the boys were late but it didn't give me any grief...they are all trained now :) (I hope!!)

    I had a yukky childhood and did not try to duplicate old ways...I was good with the new. I still am, even at my age. My mother was a lazy mother anyway. She did the bare minimim and I never looked to her as somebody I wanted to copy. If anything I did what my BFFs did (I had two, one passed :(). They and my darling, special mother in law guided me more than anything that was from my childhood.

    I am happy for those with happy childhood memories :) My best time of life truly started when I hit the jack pot with my amazing husband of 23 years. Things have gotten better and better each year since him.
    We did childcare OUR way and our kids claim they had great childhoods! Thank you, Tom, the love of my life! (His birthday is Sunday and he retires in May! Yaaaay! We can travel!)

    Maybe this childhood difference is why you are soothed by the past and I like leaving the old ways back where they were. It's interesting to discuss though!!
     
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2018
  14. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    The new generation of fathering is definitely different from the old. As the old saying goes, we've come a long way baby.

    If only men knew, knowing how to cook and actually breaking out the pots and pants every once in a while, doing a little vacuuming, and changing a diaper or two every now and then, is the best way to a woman's heart.
     
  15. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I think most men do these things now.

    My husband is no sensitive new thinking man. He is 62 and was a ten year Air Force vet, his dad was a cop. He just knew that when we married being a good partner included helping with the house and being very involved with the kids. I think that's just our culture now and in my opinion for the better. Now my own dad did nothing but he came from the WWIi generation. My mother didn't do much either. Minimum. Our house was a mess meals yuk.but that's another story


    Many many men cook better than their wives!
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
  16. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Absolutely, I do, too. Times have changed, and for the better may I add.
     
  17. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    What I would have given to have even one child like you! LOL!

    I think with the cloth diapers, being as economical as they were, I never pushed the toilet training issue, because they were so economical. Visions of dollar signs never ran though my head each time I dropped a diaper in the pail, but had I used disposable diapers, I think my relaxed approach to toilet training would have (more than likely) taken a different turn.

    Reaching for a clean cloth diaper from the stack was all too easy. I sometimes think cloth diapers made me lazy in the training department. The only ongoing expense (if you can call it that) with cloth diapers, was detergent and rubber pants.

    I found once my kids were daytime trained and wearing diapers only at nighttime, rubber pants lasted a really long time, and I could let wet diapers stew in the plastic pail for 3-4 days before laundering, unlike when my kids were wearing diapers fulltime, where diapers needed washed every second day (a must when I had two in diapers at the same time).
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
  18. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Old Hand, I didn't train at all :) I didn't care when they were trained. There was no urgency.....I was a stay at home with a part time night job (my ex babysat) so I didn't have to train them for daycare.

    Bart was trained at 3. Princess was 2 1/2 like my grandbaby, her daughter. Sonic with his developmental delays was 4. Jumper went to the potty and did it at about 18 months then came, diaper off to take my hand and show me what she did. So without sitting down with them while they sat on the potty....they all got trained in their own time. And back then I got the store brand paper diapers...Osco. Cheapo ex made a fuss if I got name brands! They were pretty cheap. The price has gone up! I was shocked at the price of Granddaughter's diapers, but her parents only got really good ones for her. She peed a lot :)

    When I was pregnant with Bart my mother in law offered a diaper service for us but both of us wanted disposables. Looking back I am surprised ex didn't take the offer.

    I don't think it really matters what age your kids are potty trained unless it's abnormally late. Then you have to wonder.....why. otherwise....I dunno. That was low on my radar of things that concerned me.

    I am not sure of the age but I think my mother said I was trained by 18 months. In the age of cloth diapers and rubber pants, less work for her. I am not sure but I think she had a diaper service. I kind of remember a white truck with diapers on I, cloth ones with pink and blue lettering. I can not be positive. I do have this amazing long term memory but I can't always be sure of it. Could be that I just remember the truck driving down my street and it wasn't for us.

    The people who lived around us were mostly pretty rich. I am guessing but I doubt they washed diapers by hand or even in machines. Heck, many had maids and nannies. That I do remember. Even we had maid named Myrtle for a while and we were not rich!
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
  19. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Gosh, you and I were so alike when it came to toilet training. In fact, I became more and more lax with each kid born.

    I was always a stay-at-home mom, too, so tending to my kids bottoms was never an issue, nor was tending to the washing of the diapers either. No diaper service in our house. Just old-fashioned home-laundered style. :)

    I witnessed mothers in my day who spanked and were excessively strict when it came to toilet training, and I wanted no part of that. Unhealthy for mom, unhealthy for the child.

    Yes, the cost of disposable diapers, wow! I'm always so shocked when I see a young mother exit a department store or supermarket with two huge jumbo packs of diapers in the shopping cart. I think, how in the world can you afford it!

    I remember when my kids started showing signs they were ready to start using the potty, they'd pull at their diapers or pat them (front and back) when they went and needed changing. I taught them that when I'd change them, giving them a few pats on the bum when they were dirty, or a few pats on the front of their didies when they were wet.

    I remember when my youngest was still in diapers at age 4-1/2 (nighttime), and how I used to question the properness of such in the morning when I'd change him. Not having to change wet crib sheets of pyjama bottoms was a blessing, and if that meant pinning a diaper on him each night before he went to bed, then I was good with using diapers, regardless of what others may have thought.

    There's not a doubt in my mind that going the old-fashioned route of traditional cloth diapers with pins and rubber pants added to my day (think workload, etc), albeit mildly, however, cloth was the answer in our home and worked well.

    Besides, I'm of the mindset that diapers shouldn't be fancy. Diapers are there to get the job done, nothing more. No cute colours, no cute anything. In my opinion, good ole cloth diapers and rubber pants fit the bill! As utilitarian as it gets! Plain-Jane diapers! Or as one of my old babysitters used to call them, marshmallow diapers! LOL! I gather because they looked like a big marshmallow on the kids bum! :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
  20. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Right you are, SOT. The old cloth diapers, at least one particular brand did have blue letters on them. They were Curity brand. My sister in law used them. I remember changing my nieces and nephews and seeing the blue letters, CURITY, stamped on the diapers. They were thick and quilted, not like the big sheet style diapers that I used.

    Thanks for the walk down memory lane! :)