Baby Steps...H finally did it!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, May 20, 2008.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I hesitate to post this as, well, you know, things could turn on a dime.

    H FINALLY took the plates off difficult child's car last Thursday. I stayed home that day and in the morning he was watching the weather. I asked him, "Did you take the plates off yet?" "Uh no...." Me in his face: "Get your Hiney down there and take off those *(&(&%#* plates right now. If we don't do this, she will NEVER EVER LEARN". He hightailed it down there and I have to say she took it very well...she knew it was long overdue.

    Anyway, she got up, showered, dressed in the nice suit I picked out for her, put on makeup, gave her nails a quick swipe of some clear polish and I put up her hair. She looked FABU. I mean, seriously, the transformation from smelly like an ashtray, haven't brushed my teeth all week to bright shiney new penny Fabulous.

    She applied at about 20 places, handed in at least 12 resumes. We even did one last resort pizza joint. We had a GREAT day! We talked about so much. She was crying and telling me that she's so tired of making the same stupid mistakes with my H all the time. When he gets tone she loses all control and starts cursing at him. She said she wants to tell him sorry for cussing him out that night before but she felt stupid because she feels like he is just going to think "blah blah blah, sorry again" and not take her seriously. I told her that when she apologized to him, make sure it's from the heart because she truly feels sorry and not just because it's the right thing to do. I told her that she should apologize when the moment strikes her rather than going into the living room and making a big production out of it.

    She asked to go back to the counselor. Wow.

    She went the whole weekend without a car, didn't even go out on Friday night because Monkeyboy couldn't pick her up. She came home each night and hasn't given us any guff at all. In fact, we all seem to be getting along real well (I realize its only been 5 days!). She's been getting up each day and cleaning up or showering and she told me she likes wearing 'power career clothes' and even applied at a bank. I hope she doesn't knock it over one day!

    Yesterday morning I called her to see if she was going to be ready for me to pick her up at lunch time to apply to some jobs on line that we talked about, and not only was she up, but she was showered, dressed and waiting. She'd already walked the dogs and get this, she called and scheduled her own dental cleaning AND she called her counselor's office for a new intake interview. How freaking awesome and unbelieveable is that?

    So, today I called her and she said, "Well, it's official, I can't sleep past 9 anymore - I've gotten used to getting up early now!" And the only call back she had from last Thursday was her 'last resort' and she said, and I quote, "I think I'm going to take that job at the pizza place because I'm really sick of having no money and I really want to get my car back".

    I think she made the first connection. Money=Freedom!! The other day difficult child asked H when she was getting her car back. He took out a piece of paper and wrote on it: JOB=CAR and left the room. It was amazing - difficult child laughed and said, "I thought you were going to say that. D@mn." And there was no yelling, screaming, slamming of doors, tears, threats, etc. I feel like both difficult child AND H are taking baby steps and it's nice.

    She also has committed to begin the medical assistant program in the fall at the community college, followed by the phlebotomy program.

    I don't want to jump up and down too much, but I have to say that I am very happy.
  2. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yaaaaaaaay!!! Sounds like major progress :)
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Natural consequences and FOLLOWING THROUGH (you and husband) are a wonderful thing.

    I'm so proud of you and husband, Jo- and so glad you are reaping the rewards. Good for you! :bravo:

  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Wow!! It really does sound wonderful. So glad to hear she got a job. Let's hope these baby steps turn into giant strides with only a few umbrella steps backwards (or in a circle since they are umbrella steps).
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Woohoo! Backflips!!

    Soon he will kick himself for not having done it sooner...
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    What did you slip into her Wheaties? LOL! I'm glad that she is turning the corner. :D
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Such a wonderful update!!! I would join in the backflips, but it wouldn't be pretty, LOL!!

    Glad you are able to have positive conversations. Gladder that she and H are making baby steps!!


  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Great news, Jo. So glad to hear that difficult child and H are taking baby steps in the right direction, and fingers crossed that they keep going on this path.

  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    That's so awesome! Great job, Warrior Mom and Wife!
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    GO husband
    GO husband


    (secretly lights a candle for difficult child daughter)