Hi Everyone, I haven’t posted in a long while, but frequently turn here for a lift when things get rough. My daughter, almost 30 now, has been challenging since age 14, when she started cutting. She was diagnosed bipolar at 20, and for awhile seemed to be on the right path, taking her medications, going to school. In her early 20s though she dropped out and began a jagged life of short, tumultuous relationships, failed jobs, and (I realize now) drug use. She broke things in our home, stole from us, lied constantly, and after moving out, broke into our home to steal again. Fast forward five years- she has had two children with two different men. Both babies have been removed from her, and she failed to meet the custody requirements of the court: get a job, see a psychiatrist, show proof of residency. I have urged her to see a psychiatrist, go to AA, get a job! All suggestions are met with derision and cursing. We have laid down boundaries and, to protect ourselves, haven’t seen her in almost three years. She is our only child, and we feel terrible about not having her with us for the holidays, or picturing her homeless, hungry, etc. But, like all of you, we have spent $1000s to try to get her moving forward- a car, rent, court fees. Nothing has helped, and I’m sure much of our support went to pay for heroin and meth. I have her blocked, but she keeps getting new phone numbers and contacting me. So I recently replied, trying to get her to see that we are older, inching toward 70, with fixed incomes and medical bills. That we do not see her as our responsibility any longer. I was deluding myself into thinking that at almost 30, her thinking would change, some sense of responsibility would come with age, that she would learn from her dreadful mistakes. That we would be able to have a normal relationship. Today, it is cold and dreary here, with sleet and rain. She texted her dad asking for $50 to pay for heat. He refused and she reacted with foul language, accusing us of wanting her to fail. It occurred to me- she has been asking us for $50 every few weeks for over ten years now! and raging if we didn’t give it to her. So, like all of you, I read the posts here. I try to enjoy my retirement, (and I am). But I do feel guilty, and fearful, and work to ignore the sense of obligation that is always in the back of my mind. I really appreciate the honest sharing that goes on at this site, and wish you all the best with your struggles.