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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 761012" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I forgot how to do this, so I think I hit quote first. How true. I had a pretty stressful childhood, so I thought that by always smoothing the way for my son, he would not have to deal with failure and adversity. Unfortunately it just created someone who can't handle it. My ex-husband was worse. He allowed our son to flout rules and basically grew our son into an entitled narcissist. </p><p></p><p>Pia Mellody, one of the originators of codependency (me) recovery said there are two kinds of abuse - disempowering and empowering. Disempowering hurts children. Empowering abuse hurts them too by enabling and a failing to set necessary limits necessary to become independent and functional. My ex, who died at 51, did everything to empower my son and to disempower me. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, what a Godsend all of you are for sharing your wisdom gained from your own pain and experience. Thank you.</p><p>I am talking to my therapist, twelve step people, and trying to get the strength to follow through.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 761012, member: 19832"] I forgot how to do this, so I think I hit quote first. How true. I had a pretty stressful childhood, so I thought that by always smoothing the way for my son, he would not have to deal with failure and adversity. Unfortunately it just created someone who can't handle it. My ex-husband was worse. He allowed our son to flout rules and basically grew our son into an entitled narcissist. Pia Mellody, one of the originators of codependency (me) recovery said there are two kinds of abuse - disempowering and empowering. Disempowering hurts children. Empowering abuse hurts them too by enabling and a failing to set necessary limits necessary to become independent and functional. My ex, who died at 51, did everything to empower my son and to disempower me. Anyway, what a Godsend all of you are for sharing your wisdom gained from your own pain and experience. Thank you. I am talking to my therapist, twelve step people, and trying to get the strength to follow through. [/QUOTE]
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