Back from court with difficult child 2

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rlsnights, Mar 14, 2011.

  1. rlsnights

    rlsnights New Member

    Well that was an interesting experience. Mostly waiting and then 15 minutes in the courtroom and then more waiting. Pretty much what I expected except ....... the DA opted to charge him with a felony - assault with a deadly weapon. Holy Moly. Not the misdemeanor assault we were expecting.

    That's because he threw a water bottle at me and hit me in the head. But we explained to the public defender that it was a plastic bottle and it wasn't full and the lid was off. Made a mess with water everywhere but didn't really hurt me. The grabbing me around the shoulder and neck and shaking me and shoving me against the kitchen counter was what hurt although I only have a couple bruises from it.

    The public defender made a case for his release and we said we wanted him home so the judge agreed to release him into our custody until his settlement hearing a month from now.

    The public defender said she was sure the charges would be reduced to misdemeanor at the settlement hearing.

    I decided it was in everyone's best interest to have him home because the Juvie psychiatrist was completely off base in her assessment of him. OMG she wanted to take him off all his medications cause he's just "spoiled" don't cha know?? She didn't care about the results of a 4 week hospitalization or the opinion of his community psychiatrist who's seen him for 4 years. Oh no. One 30 minute visit and she has a completely new "diagnosis" and designed a new treatment plan. Now that was scary. Really scary.

    The judge directed he be referred to the diversion program to see if he met criteria for the program. Apparently they can see if he qualifies but they can't provide services until he is officially on probation which won't be until after the next court date. Hopefully we will make it to then without any big blow ups.

    I can call the diversion program people tomorrow to start that process. We are so lucky - the juvenile justice system here is really progressive and they are aggressively going after grants to fund intervention programs and alternative treatment models.

    When we got home he got out of the car and was waiting for us to unlock the front door. I looked at him and asked him if he wanted a hug. He looked away and then said sure and stepped into my arms. He was strung tight as a bow. I just stood there and held him and after a minute he started breathing again and his whole body relaxed bit by bit. I finally stepped back and went inside without saying a word. Now he's in his room cleaning it up - no protests, no disagreements at all.

    I called his psychiatrist while we waiting for them to process him. Happened to catch her and told her about his being released and about the Juvie psychiatrist's opinion and plan. Our psychiatrist said yes when you meet him for the first time you think he's just spoiled. But, she said, he has a lot of serious stuff going on and that first impression is completely wrong.

    They made room in her schedule for her to see him for an hour tomorrow. Plus he is seeing his county mental health counselor.

    Glad to have him home.

  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Glad his psychiatrist was able to make room for him tomorrow. Hope all goes well. Hugs.
  3. idohope

    idohope Member

    Glad he is home, where you want him to be. Hope that there are no blow ups while you wait for the next steps. Also glad you have a progressive court system. Some more Hugs
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very intuitive of you to see his need for a safe hug. Sometimes just knowing we love them no matter what can help a little.

    Glad he's going to the psychiatrist today.

  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending you a very caring hug and warm thoughts. The system varies from place to place/ The power of the DA is beyond what is believed by the general public. If the PD can not get the felony reduced to a misdemeanor I would suggest finding the top attorney available. Yes, I know. It is very costly. The "felony" is thrown at kids unnecessarily very often where we live and it might as well be a visable branding of the letter F on the body. The repercussions are, or can be, life limiting. If the PD tells you that a juvie felony charge doesn't impact because juvie records are sealed don't swallow it. If at 18 + he should get into trouble again the juvie record is accessed by the Court in deciding punishment.

    On the bright side I am so glad you were able to reach your psychiatrist and get an appointment quickly. That is a huge blessing for your family. Just a huge plus! I'm keeping you in my prayers. DDD