Back pain, H, major whine.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hearts and roses, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Haha, yes, H is the cause of my back pain...I think, jk, not really.

    H and I were supposed to go away to FL this weekend (Fri-Tues) to visit his mom who just finished a round of chemo for breast cancer - she had the surgery and all looks well.

    Then H did something incredibly stupid because he's chronically and clinically depressed and refuses to do anything about it so it always leads to stupid behavior. Anyway, that said, I chose to remain home.

    I remained home in part to H's behavior and also because of Sophie, who is continuing to decline, despite the medications. Now she has a vaginal infection which is directly relative to the immuno-suppressant medication she is taking. Ugh - kill one thing, develop another. I am so having a hard time with this one. I figured it out and it will cost between $500-$1200 a month to care for Sophie for each month, for 3 months, if we continue this way. I cannot swing that. So, when H does get home, we have to decide together whether or not to put her down. I am broken up over this. I was sobbing with the vet on the phone the other night.

    Okay, so I was excited about staying home without H here. He has NEVER ever gone away without me so I've never had the house to myself. He has, as I'm always off visiting family at one time of the year or another. Anyway, I had all these great things I was going to do, beginning on Sat: Get a manicure (GC), lip and brow wax, a body massage (I have a GC) and go to the movies with my friend and again with difficult child. I was also going to tackle some projects around the house and spend some time doing nothing (imagine!).

    But when I woke up on Saturday AM, my back was out. O.U.T - OUT. As in I can't really walk or do anything. If I lie down, it hurts. If I walk, it hurts, If I try to lift something so light as the sugar bowl, it hurts. So, difficult child has been by my side the entire weekend....she's walking the dogs and helping me out some, driving me to the chiro, etc. It's nice to have her helping me, though I wish she and easy child would clean the house (to my standards). On top of that, easy child's boyfriend with the broken ankle was here all weekend, which wasn't so bad but easy child caters to him and pretty much shuts us all out, so she is of no help to anyone.

    Anyway, H will come home late tomorrow night and I never got to have my fun weekend!!!!!! I'm so angry. I keep trying to let it roll off and just let it go, but I'm on fire inside. Why?? Why did my back have to go out now?? Is it all due to the stress?? Of H, Sophie? Urgh.

    And when H comes home, all the unresolved, not talked about issues will be there with him and I just don't want to deal with it.

    Okay, end of whine. Thanks for the shoulder.
  2. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Ah, stinks some times. I'm sorry you're in pain and you missed your weekend of peace.

    I hope you feel better. Back pain is not something I've ever experiened but can imagine it is bad.

  3. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Rushing...apologies for not reading the entire post.
    Very sorry to hear of back pain.
    Going through this with- husband.

    Two things have been of some help to him...more than many other things:

    1. Aleeve gel tablets. GEL. Only the gel...not the regular kind.

    2. Salon Pas patches. Weird item. Patches. You can't get them anywhere. Put them on your back. You can also put them on radiating pain. Can get them at some drug stores. Also at They work VERY well. Very helpful.


    3. Acupunture...helpful!

    4. Cortisone shots...very helpful!!!

    5. Take vitamins...esp. for depression. Take a B50 tablet, Vitamin D, Magnesium, Calcium, Fish Oil.
    Glucosamine/Chondroitin (sp!!!) for back or joint pain. A multi vitamin for overall good health.
    If sleep is an issue....and not on an antidepressant, one can take L tryptophan 500 mg to help you sleep AND help with- depression.
    Otherwise, Melatonin works very well. Sleep is very important.

    6. Rest. Avoid stress. Gently move about as soon as you are able.

    Hang in there...wishing you and / or your loved well healing.
    Lasted edited by : Feb 9, 2009
  4. compassion

    compassion Member

    Epsom salt baths help lots. The major deal though is lessening stress. :) Compassion
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm so sorry. That just blows big time. :(

    Hmmm. Wonder if you could guilt husband into visiting his Mom once a month without you? Then you'd have once a month for a chance at the house alone. Surely then at least once you're back wouldn't dare go out on you.

    I've always been a person who has valued my "me" time. I haven't gotten much since my kids became teens...and it seems I get less and less the older they get. Somehow it shouldn't be working out that way.....but it has. And there are times when it really drives me to the edge.

    I'd imagine stress at least played a part in it. Because I've got tons of stress....and if I could go to bed just 1 night without my back killing me right between the shoulder blades I'd be in heaven.

    Think husband would go for you spending next weekend in a hotel? Alone?

  6. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm sorry to hear about your back. Ouch!

    I hope you get another chance for alone time soon.