Back to Confused and Not knowing what to do....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    It is clear this school has given up. Today I got no call, so was thinking maybe an ok day??? But I picked Q up to go to his first Occupational Therapist (OT) and Speech (where he did an awesome job by the way) and while in with the Occupational Therapist (OT) he says that he was locked out of his classroom and not all at once but eventually the principal and then he listed four others who came to check on him (can you say they are trying to gather witnesses??? or giving too much attention to something??? ) He told his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker that he and another kid (the one who taught him the sex words) were into it with each other. So they took mine out.

    Now, they have called me for much less, why do you think they are leaving this out? I called and left a message to call me, I sent an email and no response.

    After the tour of the school, they said to come this week with our home psychiatric. i asked starting last Thursday....about tues or wed morning. Told them he cleared his schedule for either just for us to do that. No response. I sent a copy of another email asking for the time to be confirmed or denied so I could tell this guy... and cc'd it to the sp ed coordinator, and director. I think I might start CCing the superintendent of schools.

    I sent a separate email to the director of the sun program school and asked a few questions... no answers.

    I called there twice to ask for a confirmation of the appointments... nothing

    The attorney says to write an email that says (and cc it to all) we will be there Wed at 9. Thanks.

    Would you do that?

    I am worried they are pushing him over the edge because here it is different. He is doing better with all of us.. not just me so I know it is not my just not wanting to see it.

    I asked if I should keep him home to protect him and they said they can't tell me for obvious reasons but also that they could use it against us... I am not saying I want to pull him from school but he has a great attendance record and I can call him in "sick" for two days... he is already off Thurs and Friday. I have a conference Wed night and it is only with the teacher. If anyone else is there I am leaving.

    I am going to check tomorrow to see about an autism school which happens to be in our city and is for all levels of autism and more like a treatment program like what he was in when he was a small child. I am not sure if it is a medical placement or tuition is listed and no info on funding. All teachers are licensed with autism certificates. PIctures of the school show a SCHOOL not a treatment center... lots of technology and cute classes etc... ( of course they will show the cool looking stuff on All other therapists and behavioral people are licensed too. But it is not listed as a charter school so I am not sure. They do have yearly IEP meetings like charter schools so I guess I just have to see. Not especially hopeful but could be surprised. Our attorney hasn't had much to do with them which ironically means to me they are probably ok because no legal issues.

    Just hurting for my kid. (and frustrated with him at the same time... I wish I could just say.. HEY KID.. you are sabotaging yourself! and he would be like... OK mom, I will just throw all my anxiety over this out the window... no biggie, uggg)

    He says they are having a pizza party tomorrow... he hates to miss out.... he will probably screw it up and be kicked out anyway.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Oh, Buddy.
    I can't give you answers, but how about if I chop up your post and feed it back in bits?

    This is a positive item on your plan. It may or may not be a fit - but, it is a "reasonable option" to spend time and effort checking into. And that is tomorrow - not next week.

    Two takes on this...
    - She is probably wanting you to push them and see if they trip themselves up. There's that grey area - which is where you are right now - and as long as they don't REALLY mess up, its hard to pin them down. This applies not just to the current school, but to the whole school division. They are scared, and don't know what to do next or what to try next... there are no easy answers (you already know that!) but they won't admit it.

    - You probably need to run every step past the attorney now. Need to find ways to capture, document, gather steam...

    Who are "they"? school? home psychiatrist? attorney?

    School is trying to push him over the edge. "Here" = all his other activities? Is there any way to get his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers to "drop you a note" about how he is doing? Any others who are involved who can comment on paper, send an email - anything? Because its important to document this stuff. Take videos of him at horse therapy, or outside with his scooter and sharing, and so on.

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member


    I asked psychiatric and law advocate about keeping him home...

    yes, here... meaning home. and his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) is all documented and charted daily. It is paid by insurance and so he has goals and it is all documented. Again tonight, a good night with them. Only challenges lately have been transition from an activity he loves to coming home at the end of the night... they are used to that and typically just deal with it appropriately. both Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers are saying that he is very upset about is friend being gone... stinks that had to happen THis week..

    OH I forgot...

    the independent FBA lady??? Well, at the ugly IEP meeting they said she hasn't gotten ahold of them. My law advocate had a meeting she attended. She asked about this and she showed the law advocate that they had a mix up on one date then she asked about two others and the teacher said NO because she was going to be gone... she asked for another date and still no answer... I believe her because it is happening to me.

    I now know that the systemic complaint filed by the state and the huge sanctions in our district were directly tied to the sp ed school we saw...but it was several years ago and apparently they have changed things but???? how do i know that????

    I love the idea of videoing him in other settings so they can see how he is doing... I am going to do that for sure! I was considering making a power point about Q to bring on my lap top to IEP meetings. I wrote that intro to him for the hospital when he went. I will morph that into a presentation on him.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Great idea!
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sorry but I'm going to have to comment on parts of this also.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    TeDo, SHE is the one who told me to come back this week. I called and the lead teacher answered and said she was right outside the office in the hall and would call me back. Last time when no one called I wrote to the sp ed director and got a long email back within an hour so I know there is time to call and say, sorry that time wont work or it will work....

    She is the one who has ignored the email, voice mail and in person message from that lead teacher. the next IEP meeting is NEXT week... they have no school thurs or fri so the only option is tomorrow or wed. That is why I pushed it. So frustrating.

    I am hoping that would be true... I think that there is this small chance and a small chance of an open enrollment in one of two districts who have other options. Please do what ever you guys do to send positive vibes for some more positive answers tomorrow. If I let Q go to school, please pray he has a good day.... he needs divine intervention I believe.

    Thanks, so much....
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Buddy I just wanted to pop in and say up at 9am with the psychiatric on wednesday. Hugs. This if not a good situation for you or q.
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Darn <Like> button isn't working again. LOL

    Give a GIANT <LIKE> to Crazymama!!!
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Before you show up, do make sure they have had ample notice. Send an email - "last week you asked me to drop in this week with the home psychiatric as a follow-up. I have tried to contact you to confirm this but have not had any success. As the h0me psychiatric has a busy schedule which she has cleared for this opportunity, I am letting you know tat we will both be there first thing Wednesday morning. If there is a problem with this, please get back to me and let me know so we can re-schedule. However, you did say to come in this week and with Thursday and Friday being days off school, Wednesday will be the last chance we have.
    I look forward to seeing you again and introducing you to home psychiatric."

    cc everybody including well up the chain of command.

    Then sit back and watch the pretty fireworks...

    Hugs. You're being set up. Or more correctly, your child is. Check out the autism school and put the politics in place to send him there and send the bill to the district.

    Oh, and keep him home if your instinct warns you. We kept difficult child 3 home for over half of grade 5, absences spread over the whole year. The reasons - he felt sick. Turned out to be extreme anxiety due to the school dropping the ball badly on supervision and support. When he was at school he got detention constantly (so their discipline policy was not working, was it?)

  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This junk is just confusing to me. On paper your state is supposed to be the best in our country for dealing with kids like Q. I know he wouldnt get the help you are getting here.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This is getting me angry for you and Q. I was wondering if you always just deal with your school district. Have you ever called the Dept. of Education in Minnesota to report what is going on? The district is usually like a good ole boy chain. They have each other's backs. When we got this runaround from our district, our advocate told us to call the Dept. of Education and ask for the Special Needs Director. Once the state called the school, things changed dramatically for our son and we finally got cooperation. The Dept of Ed is potent.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    'Thanks for all the info. Did your difficult child 3 want to stay home? Q hates his routine changed. Today I said don't you think it would be nice to find a place to go to school where you could have fun and not be in trouble all of the time. He said well mom, I am just used to it.
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I know, right? And there are years when things swim along great. I feel like there really is no good place for kids who have multiple disabilities that include behavior though. I think of the programs I have worked in and how we stay late and meet on kids to try to improve things for them on our own time etc... He really is not a monster kid. Seems to be having monster moments lately...(no clue how this affects the classes around him so clearly that has to stop but stop the way it should stop....get the experts in there, WORK on it). If he had never done it, if he was not doing ok other places, well that is one thing... Even if he can't be there.... but then find a place that is right. Do not stuff him there.

    I hadn't heard one of the things they said about this alt. school. Law advocate says that they told her that they are not only bringing back kids placed out of district over the next couple of years but they are planning to make this a co-treatment facility for kids who are in res. treatment.... so it is their transition step.

    Sounding more and more uncomfortable.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I will call today.
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    ok will do.
  16. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Buddy, definitely show up at 9am on Wednesday. This is getting ridiculous. You should call the dept of ed. The school district is completely disregarding Q's needs. Hugs, and I hope this settles soon. And, I hope the autism school you found is a good place. Maybe that is the best fit for Q right now until all of the other stuff settles. Just as a temporary measure?