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<blockquote data-quote="Nessie" data-source="post: 760344" data-attributes="member: 21463"><p>22 year old female daughter has started seeing an ex boyfriend who is nothing but trouble - 20 years older, drug dealer, narcissistic and really not a nice person at all. My whole family is devastated and I told her if she wants to see him she has to move out. She hasn’t been home this weekend so I guess she has made her choice. I’ve done the usual, stalked her social media etc so I know she is ok. I’m heartbroken, angry and not really sure what to do next.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, not my first experience of a challenging adult child and I desperately want to avoid the angst the first experience caused. I feel I should stand by what I have said but I want to maintain a relationship with her. Old feelings of failing as a parent are creeping in and my need to Wade in and save her. It isn’t just that we don’t like this man, he brings her down and I’m afraid this will lead to substance abuse, loosing her job and spiralling down. How can I stop focusing on the bad that might happen?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nessie, post: 760344, member: 21463"] 22 year old female daughter has started seeing an ex boyfriend who is nothing but trouble - 20 years older, drug dealer, narcissistic and really not a nice person at all. My whole family is devastated and I told her if she wants to see him she has to move out. She hasn’t been home this weekend so I guess she has made her choice. I’ve done the usual, stalked her social media etc so I know she is ok. I’m heartbroken, angry and not really sure what to do next. Sadly, not my first experience of a challenging adult child and I desperately want to avoid the angst the first experience caused. I feel I should stand by what I have said but I want to maintain a relationship with her. Old feelings of failing as a parent are creeping in and my need to Wade in and save her. It isn’t just that we don’t like this man, he brings her down and I’m afraid this will lead to substance abuse, loosing her job and spiralling down. How can I stop focusing on the bad that might happen? [/QUOTE]
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