BAD day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Jan 14, 2008.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    The day started with difficult child wound up, and he just got worse. When he was walking to the car he slipped on the ice and fell on his back. I was four feet from him, and before I could ask him if he was ok, he screamed at me why did I push him? I told him I could not even reach him to push him. All the way to school he went off about how I do not love him, I don't even care about him. Man, was I glad to get him to school.

    After school he threw a fit because he had basketball practice and did not think he could get his homework done. He did get it done. He then told me that his team told him he sucked, and that he wanted to quit basketball because he was too short. This crying fit went on for what seemed like forever. It stopped right before we walked in the gym for basketball.

    Thank goodness basketball went good, and afterward difficult child even said that his teamates were'nt mean to him after all. :hammer:

    At home he did not want to listen, and threw a fit because he had to finish up a little bit of homework. He had to write 10 spelling words 3 times. I asked him to use better handwriting, and the fight was on. He is finally in bed, and I am glad. Sometimes this rollercoaster ride is too much.

    He was even great after school, did his homework when I asked him the first time. :faint:
  2. aeditha17

    aeditha17 New Member

    Hey there crazymama!
    I have an 11 year old who was just in absolute tears this evening after, you guessed it - spelling words 3 times each!
    Between that and math, it's like Olympic boxing. We go round and round and round and it always ends up with him crying.
    He's not athletic, but he throws a like amount of energy into gaming. Getting him to understand that homework comes before World of Warcraft seems to be my challenge andif I make him stop in mid-quest to correct his homework - I am EVIL! :devil:

    Hang in there. Isn't adolesence fun!?!?!!?

  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Ladies, what happens if you just blew off homework & let school deal with it?

    We did & still do this with the kt; foster mum does it with wm. Geez, the tweedles lose recess or some other free time at school & the teachers deal with the fall out.

    Back at home, we've tried, but refuse to ruin an entire evening over 10 spelling words. in my humble opinion, simply not worth it.

    Just something to consider.
  4. Calista

    Calista New Member

    Can they test out of the spelling homework? If they can spell the words correctly what's the point of the homework? Then maybe they can write only the ones they missed.
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    The problem was not so much the homework as the anxiety and worry about doing homework and having basketball. Anymore we only have infrequent battles over homework. Once difficult child gets to basketball he has a great time, and I think it teaches him how to work with and deal with others. This is something I think he will need as an adult, and I really do not know how to teach it other than to model it (does not seem to work). It also allows difficult child to feel like part of a team, and to be accepted and have friends.

    I am unsure how I feel about not trying to get difficult child to do homework. I feel that education is very important. I would like difficult child to value education eventually, but if he does not oh well. Yesterday was just a bad day.
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I hope today is better!!! I am thinking of you!!!
    I have had the same thing happen... "Why did you do that to me?" "What?" HUH?

    I was nowhere near her... LOL
    We have the anxiety over the homework, and she doesn't really even have homework!!! She is in K!!! She has little work pages... "I can't"....

    I have a feeling it just get's worse!

    I do hope you have a better day... hugs, from this side of the country... It is cold here!!!
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Please don't misunderstand me - education is very important in our household. We give kt the time & place each day to attempt her homework if it is assigned.

    kt & wm's realities are such that their disorders/illnesses along with the time of medications wearing down for the day make it nearly impossible for homework to happen.

    Having said that, their IEPs have a homework accomodation written into it. AND it's recognized at both of their individual day treatments that family life & emotional/mental well being is far more important than a page of spelling words.

    It really is a toss up. husband & I would prefer the homework & some of the challenges that go with that. We know, for kt, that the homework will turn into a nightly battle with crisis team calls & likely ER visits. Simply not worth it for anyone here.
  8. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Linda, I did not mean to imply anything regarding how important education is. I just personally have struggled with this issue. How do I show him education is important, other than to further my own education and to require that homework is done? Most of the time, lately, I do not have many homework problems. Knock on wood. I think that night difficult child realized he had more than one thing to do and it was too much. He likes basketball, and enjoys it once we are there. His behavior has been good there so far. He just gets overwhelmed when he realizes that he has to do his homework and go to practice. Sometimes I handle difficult child better than others, and that was not a good moment. I was just frustrated with him
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hi cm,

    I have a few suggestions - find out all you can about effective communication. Google it if you have to. I think it is one thing to tune kids out when they are having a fit, but I believe it is quite another to let it go unpunished all the time.

    He's really having quite the pity party for himself isn't he? You're doing great to ignore it, but I found learning the "language" of talking to a difficult child through effective communication.
    It's an art - believe me.

    As far as being short - maybe it would be a good mom - son thing to do an internet search and find out how tall a lot of basketball players ARE NOT. My sister is 5'2" and the meanest Guard I ever knew next to my Dad who was 5'9" - I hate basketball lol. They were too aggressive for me to ever play and try to get a basket! (I'm a mean softball player though) -