It's been "one of those mornings" so far, and I guess I'm posting about it because whenever days like this happen, I feel SO bad for not handling things better. It's an autism therapy day for my difficult child 2 (age 9), and his therapy starts at 10 a.m. Well, he's consistently been having problems with cooperation during therapy - sometimes severe where he'll flip out and throw things, yell, hit, scream, break things, and run away. It doesn't help that his therapy had been starting in the afternoon when his medication was wearing off. We backed it up earlier, however, I've been holding off giving him his ADHD medication until an hour or two before therapy, because it really helps him calm down enough to think things through. BUT . . . that means that he's unmedicated from 5:30 a.m. when he gets up until 8:00 a.m. Any of you who have children with severe ADHD know that this is a very long time to deal with symptoms. We're currently working with his pediatrician to try Intuniv, so we're in the early stages with that (the dose titrates upward over the course of a month). In the meantime, we're stuck with severe out-of-control symptoms for portions of each day. This was my day so far: 5:30 a.m. - difficult child 2 gets up; I am in the shower. He locates our cat and annoys her as much as possible. I tell him to leave the cat alone, but he doesn't listen. He has taken all the blankets off his bed and is running around with them everywhere. 6:00 a.m. - I head to the kitchen to make him breakfast. He wants waffles, and he wants syrup and applesauce on them - at the same time. I tell him to choose one, but he refuses and starts running away with the applesauce. His fingers are sticky, and he's managed to touch everything in the kitchen. Finally, he settles and eats the waffles, but smears applesauce all over the kitchen counter. I clean up the mess, and head to get his clothes out for the day. 7:00 a.m. - I tell difficult child 2 that his clothes are ready and to get dressed. He refuses and runs away. He grabs the prescription toothpaste we got at the dentist's office yesterday and refuses to give it back to me. He's still running away everywhere. In the meantime, difficult child 1 (age 16) comes down for breakfast and starts making his own mess in the kitchen I just cleaned up. He decides he wants peanut butter and applesauce on his pancakes. The phone rings, and it's my mom. She's wishing me a happy annivesary (19 years today) and asks how I'm doing getting my prep work done for my job, etc. In the kitchen, difficult child 2 has reappeared and is grabbing pancakes off of his brother's plate, and both are screaming at each other. I tell my mom I'm doing just dandy and need to go deal with the kids. difficult child 2 has managed to eat two of difficult child 1's pancakes. Now, peanut butter, applesauce, and syrup and cat hair are everywhere on the counters and on difficult child 2, who is only half dressed. I feel my blood boiling and I just start yelling at the top of my lungs. I am sure I'm going off the deep end with my sanity. It's only 7:00 a.m. and I feel as though I've been through WWIII already! I'm not proud of my yelling. In fact I feel extremely guilty. I'm usually patient, but I just didn't have it today. I was overcome by complete frustration. It took me over an hour to clean up the kitchen for a second time. 8:00 a.m. - Gave difficult child 2 his medication. He is still only half dressed and refuses to put on the rest of his clothes, flush the toilet, brush his teeth, or wash his hands. He shouts at me, as I throw a load of laundry in the washer. 9:00 a.m. - difficult child 1 has found a way to keep himself occupied outside, and difficult child 2's medications have kicked in. He apologizes for his behavior, gets dressed, and picks up his clothes. Oh, I wish there were a way for his medication to last all day instead of just 6 hours. I find that when the ADHD is at its most severe, difficult child 2's ability to cooperate, follow directions, and complete tasks is hugely impaired. In fact, he seems completely incapable of even the simplest routines when he is unmedicated. I can't tell you how frazzled I feel on a regular basis. It's chaos around here, and I have no life outside of the enormous parenting responsibilities. I'm upset, angry, and sad, and worse, I feel so ineffective too. The therapist will be here soon, and my anxiety about difficult child 2's potential refusal to cooperate and my responsibility for it is really high. I pray he doesn't have a serious meltdown. I don't know that I have the coping skills to deal with all of this. It's really taking its toll.