Bad News

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by tiredmommy, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    mother in law had an mri yesterday to see if the chemo and radiation treatments made any difference. The results were delivered today: the tumor has continued to grow. mother in law was given the option of another round of radiation/chemo but has declined. She's been given up to 12 weeks to live. :(

    Dinner is going to be very difficult this evening as husband and I let Duckie know about this. She was already stressed in school today because their D.A.R.E. officer was talking about cigarette smoking and cancer deaths.

    Poor kid. :(
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ohhh no. Im so sorry about mother in law. I imagine that was a tough thing for Duckie to hear given what has gone on in her family. Dont envy you tonight. Hugs.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. I wish you all strength in this.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I'm so sorry, TM. Sending prayers and hugs to you and your family. Very difficult, I know.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    No words...just ((HUGS))
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Really sorry. No good words at times like these. I pray for as many memories as you can make in her time left and that she has good hospice care and a peaceful transition. Let us know if you need anything.
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I'm so very sorry TM. Prayers for all of you.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I'm so sorry...
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, TM... :hugs: I'm praying you have (had) the right words for Duckie.
  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thank you everyone, this is gut-wrenching. :(

    The latest this evening is that father in law and brother in law have coerced mother in law into agreeing to a round of intravenous Avastin. This is a medication originally used to treat colon cancer but has recently (2009) been approved for treatment in certain brain cancers. The common side effects are significant and severe. And mother in law doesn't want it for the small possibly a few months.
  11. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    TM, I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you all. (((Hugs)))
  12. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    (((((HUGS)))))) to all of you ...
  13. keista

    keista New Member

    ((((HUGS)))) and prayers out to all of you.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tm-sending prayers to you and your family.
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and saying prayers, TM.
  16. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    TM- I am sending you hugs and prayers that you find the right words to explain this to Duckie, and she handles it as well as she can. I also pray that your mother in law is able to spend her remaining time peacefully and pain free.
  17. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    So sorry TM :(

  18. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm so sorry, hon. *hugs* to you all.
  19. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    (((((hugs))))) and prayers
  20. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm going to tell you this because it's what I would do for mother in law, and what I have done for loved ones in the past several times, I'd sit down with mother in law and really talk to her about continuing treatment she doesn't want..........treatment that will be severe and will remove probably most (if not all) pleasure she might have in her time left with loved ones. Then I would do the same for those attempting to talk her into further treatment.

    I understand where they're coming from, oh yeah, I totally get it, but if they truly take the little while to think about what they're asking her to do...........and her to think about what she is willing to do for them to make them happy.........I think they'll probably see that her living her final days in the loving, caring arms of family making each day as pleasant for her as utterly possible is a much better choice. It's truly hard to give up hope with someone you hold so dear. And it's hard for the one leaving not to try to make it easier any way possible on those they're leaving behind, even when it will put them through hell.

    But you said mother in law does not want this round of treatment. Someone needs to stand with her and back up her voice in the matter. She most likely doesn't have the strength or the heart to argue for herself. Usually, once this is done the other family members come to understand and accept and respect the person's wishes.

    I am so very sorry the cancer didn't respond to treatment. My heart and prayers are with you and your family during this very difficult time.