Bad times are here again. difficult child 1 has waayyy overused his Ativan script in the past few days, resulting in an inability to do anything (including take a call he was expecting from an attorney he wanted to represent him for SSI), but not an overdose state. He is now having panic attacks but refuses to see a doctor or the crisis team. He doesn't make criteria for admission but is not functioning and will need to step down his Ativan gradually to avoid withdrawal. He became angry at me this evening, then dissolved in tears and claimed I had 'awakened the old nightmare' and he couldn't look at me any longer. I talked with girlfriend for awhile but he still wouldn't see me again, so I went home. I told girlfriend to have a very low threshold for calling 911 or crisis team. I took his car keys (it's our car) and asked girlfriend to stay in close touch. difficult child 1 has answered my text this evening but still says I awakened bad memories and he is now in a panic thanks to me (not the drug). girlfriend told me that difficult child 1 was drinking while they stayed at our house (he's good, I'll give him that - didn't catch it on his breath once), and also since they moved to their own place. She did say he poured all the alcohol down the drain when he started on Seroquel almost a month ago and hasn't been drinking since - but this binge with the Ativan is a major one. I think he may have figured out how to drink without her knowing, and maybe went too long yesterday, then overdid the Ativan. husband is working ER tonight. If difficult child 1 ends up there with an overdose or cutting episode, or alcohol/benzo respiratory arrest, husband will have to take care of him (there's only one doctor on at a time). I wanted to get difficult child 1 seen late this afternoon but he honestly didn't make criteria for a 302 and refused to be seen.