BloodiedButUnbowed
Well-Known Member
The last few months have been a blur. I cannot believe that Xmas is almost here.
Things on the marriage front have been better lately and I feel more hopeful than I have in a while, which is welcome.
DS remains incommunicado. We have no idea where he is or what he is doing. He does not return calls or texts. We do not expect to see him for the holidays.
YS is becoming increasingly angry and hostile toward us. There is a shaky plan for him to spend Xmas morning with us at our home opening gifts. He has not agreed to come over; my wife ordered him to do so. Because of this and his overall putrid attitude, both my wife and I suspect that he will bail. Yesterday he hung up on my wife after less than five minutes on the phone.
YS is almost done with his outpatient program. After that he will return to his father's full time. Disgustingly, tragically and predictably, things are going back to exactly what they were before YS attempted suicide.
They don't love us. They don't want to spend time with us. They do so as an obligation with gritted teeth.
Is it horrible to say our lives would be better without them?
My biological family is awesome and we will be spending time with them this holiday season.
I see complete and total estrangement from both stepsons in the imminent future.
I think ultimately that will be better.
After all we went through this fall, to see it end like this defies belief. But when considered in the context of the dynamics of the situation it makes perfect sense. It was magical thinking to assume that even an event of this magnitude would really change anything.
Thank you for listening. It is really helpful to be among others who also will not have a Hallmark holiday with loving, self-actualized, mentally and emotionally healthy children.
Love to all
Things on the marriage front have been better lately and I feel more hopeful than I have in a while, which is welcome.
DS remains incommunicado. We have no idea where he is or what he is doing. He does not return calls or texts. We do not expect to see him for the holidays.
YS is becoming increasingly angry and hostile toward us. There is a shaky plan for him to spend Xmas morning with us at our home opening gifts. He has not agreed to come over; my wife ordered him to do so. Because of this and his overall putrid attitude, both my wife and I suspect that he will bail. Yesterday he hung up on my wife after less than five minutes on the phone.
YS is almost done with his outpatient program. After that he will return to his father's full time. Disgustingly, tragically and predictably, things are going back to exactly what they were before YS attempted suicide.
They don't love us. They don't want to spend time with us. They do so as an obligation with gritted teeth.
Is it horrible to say our lives would be better without them?
My biological family is awesome and we will be spending time with them this holiday season.
I see complete and total estrangement from both stepsons in the imminent future.
I think ultimately that will be better.
After all we went through this fall, to see it end like this defies belief. But when considered in the context of the dynamics of the situation it makes perfect sense. It was magical thinking to assume that even an event of this magnitude would really change anything.
Thank you for listening. It is really helpful to be among others who also will not have a Hallmark holiday with loving, self-actualized, mentally and emotionally healthy children.
Love to all
