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Substance Abuse
Bail raised to $600,000!! insanity!
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 636613"><p>Wm- I feel compelled to post: please know I care and I mean all of this gently:</p><p></p><p>This is not yours to take on. You can't fix it. You can't solve it. You cannot rise to his defense and conquer the other side for him. The DA and the Judge are not the enemy- they're just a part of the situation your son chose to get himself into.</p><p></p><p>I know you are scared to death and you are panicking. You're looking for answers everywhere - examining every possibility because surely all of this effort will find a way to fix this.</p><p></p><p>This is not yours to fix.</p><p></p><p>We all understand why you want to fix it and we've all been there in one way or the other.</p><p></p><p>We're all told from day one that "anything is possible if you try hard enough" and that a mother's love can move mountains.</p><p></p><p>Somehow- when our kids flounder - we turn that spirit into a mandate that we just have to try harder and love them more and go to battle for them (whether we battle the legal system, the drugs or the difficult child themselves) and that if we put in enough effort- we will persevere. Heck - most of us found this site because we were googling (aka trying harder) ways to "fix" our difficult child's!</p><p></p><p>You can't fix the trouble he is in. Nothing you do or say or don't say will be the key to making this better. You've done all you can. You raised him well, you love him with your whole heart. He has a public defender, he will have a fair trial, there are procedures and laws and rights (that are far from perfect but) that will provide guidance and parity along the way.</p><p></p><p>I know it sounds impossible; but you need to let go of the belief that you can fix this because you will make yourself crazy. You need to resist the urge that you can battle for him, even in spirit. You can love him wholeheartedly and you should. You can visit him and you should. You can listen to him and you should. You can sit in that courtroom and will every ounce of love and strength to him and you should.</p><p></p><p>You don't have the power to solve this and you need to give up the notion that you can before it consumes you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 636613"] Wm- I feel compelled to post: please know I care and I mean all of this gently: This is not yours to take on. You can't fix it. You can't solve it. You cannot rise to his defense and conquer the other side for him. The DA and the Judge are not the enemy- they're just a part of the situation your son chose to get himself into. I know you are scared to death and you are panicking. You're looking for answers everywhere - examining every possibility because surely all of this effort will find a way to fix this. This is not yours to fix. We all understand why you want to fix it and we've all been there in one way or the other. We're all told from day one that "anything is possible if you try hard enough" and that a mother's love can move mountains. Somehow- when our kids flounder - we turn that spirit into a mandate that we just have to try harder and love them more and go to battle for them (whether we battle the legal system, the drugs or the difficult child themselves) and that if we put in enough effort- we will persevere. Heck - most of us found this site because we were googling (aka trying harder) ways to "fix" our difficult child's! You can't fix the trouble he is in. Nothing you do or say or don't say will be the key to making this better. You've done all you can. You raised him well, you love him with your whole heart. He has a public defender, he will have a fair trial, there are procedures and laws and rights (that are far from perfect but) that will provide guidance and parity along the way. I know it sounds impossible; but you need to let go of the belief that you can fix this because you will make yourself crazy. You need to resist the urge that you can battle for him, even in spirit. You can love him wholeheartedly and you should. You can visit him and you should. You can listen to him and you should. You can sit in that courtroom and will every ounce of love and strength to him and you should. You don't have the power to solve this and you need to give up the notion that you can before it consumes you. [/QUOTE]
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Bail raised to $600,000!! insanity!
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