Banging my head against a wall...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Another Kanga update...

    Post-Adoption won't pay for the bed we found :furious: :furious: :furious:

    The grant program is required by law to rule on our application by April 2nd (unless any of our docs are 'incomplete'). I spoke with them today, and while they won't guarantee anything, the director thinks they may be able to rule by March 21st.

    husband and I have (with the emotional and financial support of my parents) have decided to roll the dice and pay for the first 30-days of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) -- assuming Kanga is admitted after her interview. If we get the grant, the funding begins immediately and we don't have to move her. If we don't get the grant, we will still be on the waiting list for a Post-Adoption bed, and just maybe it will come through by the end of the 30-days.

    If we don't do this, we will need to turn her over to the State on Monday. If we do this and she doesn't qualify for the grant, we will need to turn her over to the State in 30 days. We could never afford to even try this without my wonderful parents, thank God for them. It is going to stretch them financially but they think we are worth it :redface:

    It is going to feel so good when I finally get to stop banging my head into a wall.
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am glad you have help, even for short term. It must be tremendously helpful to have supportive family, I have a few that are supportive myself. I hope this all works out.
  3. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    I'm sorry for more bureaucratic red-tape fill-out-the-form and wait garbage that you're going through. I read your posts and can't help picturing someone trying to navigate a maze with a blindfold on, people yelling differing instructions, hitting walls and finding openings, and hoping this opening is the one that leads to the middle and the help your Kanga needs.

    :bravo::yourock: to your parents, and if my wishing/praying/crossing fingers helps at all, doing it all that this gets all resolved before the 30 days is up.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Tell ma and pa thanks from a total stranger who just thinks that's the way things should be...
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so glad you are able to hang on for a little bit. I know how hard it is. And how much it hoovers that our Kanga is so sick and the services are so red-tape bound they look like a geisha's feet!!!

    Lots of hugs, prayers, and positive thoughts!

    And your parents are totally AWESOME!!!!!!!!

    (Thanks to the grandparents from a cyber-Auntie!)

  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    ((((((bang head here))))) I holdin' a pillow up fer your noggin!
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    JJJ, what a bureacratic nightmare. Your parents are amazing. Glad they stepped up to the plate. You and the kids are worth it.
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Hi all,

    Kanga is in in her own way again. She is refusing to interview for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She is mad that they don't have a hockey team, that she'll be expected to stay on campus, and that we told them she has 'problems'. She doesn't want to go to school with a 'bunch of crazy people'. She wants a fairytale place where she can play hockey, go shopping with her friends and eat out every night.

    I spoke with a few more of the professionals that work with Kanga. It seems universal that they feel that we should pursue a dependency hearing and turn her over to the State. They all feel that there is very little hope that she will ever be able to live with us again. They also pointed out that under our State law, the her case will never be eligible for termination of parental rights. So we would still be her parents, but neither legally responsible nor in charge of her anymore.

    I'm waiting to speak with the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and then will likely call for a dependency hearing.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911


    It wouldn't matter what the state said to me ANYWAY - in your heart and hers you will always be her parents. So sorry for your situation. Sending more prayers.

  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. I wish it would work out so we could all live happily in these fantasy worlds.

    Reality stinks.

    I hope things go smoothly and pray that she gets the help she needs.


  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    JJJ -

    No words. Just hugs.
  12. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    And more hugs from me.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    And more hugs and prayers.