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Battle weary Grandma and Grandpa
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 659480" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>I'm 63, but I'm very active and strong. My husband is 73 but again, active and strong. But he probably has 10 good, healthy active years left and he sure didn't sign up for this BS. But he's amazing and even though my grandson isn't a blood grandson (I married him 35 years ago, but I already had three kids and he had two, but we've always co-parented, friendly with the exes, etc). I'm an adapted PE teacher for kids with moderate/severe disabilities--mostly with kids with highly involved autism, so am fairly conversant with difficult and challenging behaviors. </p><p></p><p> No, not his only problem, we know that, but so far there's on the ODD, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, etc. Yeah, I know how helpful that is. And he's been looked at fairly closely for Bipolar, but no one has said that yet. As far as the pica, that started when he went off the stims, so maybe sensory regulating? We've tried giving him other things as fidgets and for oral motor needs that's more socially acceptable, but with limited success. We've done better by just ignoring it. But Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) has been ruled out (but he's always being evaluated on the fly with the various mental health professionals), he is doing well in school, although all of this has to catch up with him at some point. He's on a 504, but there is now a manifestation determination being talked about, and he'll probably get an IEP. They wouldn't qualify him before when they tested him because he was so far ahead academically and was still small enough that they thought it might resolve somewhat, unless be more management with the services being offered at the school.</p><p></p><p>The doctors say that dealing with his father was traumatic over time. My daughter was sharing custody (at his insistence) but after the CPS report by the psychiatrist and school, he's not parenting at the moment. So while the custody is still 50/50, his father isn't breaking our door down to see either one of the kids. He has three stepchildren and one infant son with his new wife. No, I don't have custody, but I'm the one that's here, advocating, and putting in the most hours, the most flexibility in my schedule, etc. My daughter and I are close and we are more co-parents than she is with the ex-husband. Once the new wife came on board, her jealousy and controlling nature stopped the co-parenting and the father has gone along with this because he really truly hates my daughter. He's filled with hate and anger toward a lot of people, unfortunately. My grandson is very much like his father, actually. Theres a genetic component here, for sure. </p><p></p><p>Yes, he can be dangerous, but he will allow me to "contain" him because we've talked about it while he was calm. He's getting bigger every day, and when he's in a rage, anything goes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 659480, member: 13260"] I'm 63, but I'm very active and strong. My husband is 73 but again, active and strong. But he probably has 10 good, healthy active years left and he sure didn't sign up for this BS. But he's amazing and even though my grandson isn't a blood grandson (I married him 35 years ago, but I already had three kids and he had two, but we've always co-parented, friendly with the exes, etc). I'm an adapted PE teacher for kids with moderate/severe disabilities--mostly with kids with highly involved autism, so am fairly conversant with difficult and challenging behaviors. No, not his only problem, we know that, but so far there's on the ODD, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, etc. Yeah, I know how helpful that is. And he's been looked at fairly closely for Bipolar, but no one has said that yet. As far as the pica, that started when he went off the stims, so maybe sensory regulating? We've tried giving him other things as fidgets and for oral motor needs that's more socially acceptable, but with limited success. We've done better by just ignoring it. But Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) has been ruled out (but he's always being evaluated on the fly with the various mental health professionals), he is doing well in school, although all of this has to catch up with him at some point. He's on a 504, but there is now a manifestation determination being talked about, and he'll probably get an IEP. They wouldn't qualify him before when they tested him because he was so far ahead academically and was still small enough that they thought it might resolve somewhat, unless be more management with the services being offered at the school. The doctors say that dealing with his father was traumatic over time. My daughter was sharing custody (at his insistence) but after the CPS report by the psychiatrist and school, he's not parenting at the moment. So while the custody is still 50/50, his father isn't breaking our door down to see either one of the kids. He has three stepchildren and one infant son with his new wife. No, I don't have custody, but I'm the one that's here, advocating, and putting in the most hours, the most flexibility in my schedule, etc. My daughter and I are close and we are more co-parents than she is with the ex-husband. Once the new wife came on board, her jealousy and controlling nature stopped the co-parenting and the father has gone along with this because he really truly hates my daughter. He's filled with hate and anger toward a lot of people, unfortunately. My grandson is very much like his father, actually. Theres a genetic component here, for sure. Yes, he can be dangerous, but he will allow me to "contain" him because we've talked about it while he was calm. He's getting bigger every day, and when he's in a rage, anything goes. [/QUOTE]
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