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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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<blockquote data-quote="Lioness" data-source="post: 658590" data-attributes="member: 18827"><p>I'm sitting in my living crying with relief that someone understands & cares. Thank you. I'm so shocked at the lies and venom she spits at me. I spoke to my old school friend who has been a close family friend and was there when my daughter was 12 as I was starting to question myself. Thankfully she was there many times and witnessed the way I was mistreated by my daughter. My daughter is 28 now! My background is: I have a daughter with I suspect Borderline Personality Disorder who is 28, a son of 26 who has a great job & is doing well and a younger daughter who suffers from an autoimmune disease from aged 4 she is now 22 and graduating from University. Their Dad left after an affair with his secretary. The kids were 12,10 and 6. We had been married for 19 years and met at 16 years old. We had a good marriage until he became a multi millionaire & money changed him. He favoured our eldest daughter. During the break up he couldn't be bothered with the kids and treated me and them atrociously. My daughter hated me even though her Dad in the end admitted it was his fault but she loved him so much. My son became depressed & he got counselling but even to this day his Dad belittles him. My youngest was a quiet thoughtful child in and out of hospital but is a determind young lady. I think that I had a bit of a breakdown when it happened crying as I was so shocked, devastated and I had to cope with everything alone. I tried so hard to be a good mother and I know we had lots of holidays and happy times. I did overcompensate and would try so hard but with my eldest it was never enough. Once she pushed me through a glass table! She has punched me and called me hideous names. Even as an adult she has been rude towards me. Everything is black and white to her there's no grey area. I do think that her Dad and I let them down as the divorce wasn't handled very well. He was absent and rude to me setting the tone. He never sided with me regardless of what my daughter did. My childhood was awful my mum beat us & emotionally abused us too. We ended up in a children's home which I loved as I at last felt safe. My mum cut me out of her life when I was 26 I ran away from home at 17 and Iam now tired. I tried extra hard to be a good mother or a good enough one. My daughter reminds me of my own mother and that scares me. She adores my grand daughter but how will she cope if she becomes a rude insolent teenager. I pray to God that her husband sticks around as I know he suffers with her moods and irrationality. I pray that she turns up to therapy. She wants validation that I singled her out. But I didnt. I will admit that there were a couple of occasions that I wZnted her to go live with her Dad but she refused to go. It was her idea to get therapy so surely she wants to move forward? My fear is that she will use the opportunity to attack me. Apparently she confronted her Dad about his neglect & other things he did to hurt her, he apologised and they're ok now! When I have apologised for our strained relationship it's not enough. There are different rules it seems. I'm exhausted physically & mentally. I've been Unwell on and off all year. When the doctor asked if I was stressed I just laughed. I'am not depressed just devastated. I hate myself. I don't want to be a victim I am a fighter, I don't normally give up. Please God I have to find the strength & you all really have helped me. I thank you so much.so sorry if I'm rambling on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lioness, post: 658590, member: 18827"] I'm sitting in my living crying with relief that someone understands & cares. Thank you. I'm so shocked at the lies and venom she spits at me. I spoke to my old school friend who has been a close family friend and was there when my daughter was 12 as I was starting to question myself. Thankfully she was there many times and witnessed the way I was mistreated by my daughter. My daughter is 28 now! My background is: I have a daughter with I suspect Borderline Personality Disorder who is 28, a son of 26 who has a great job & is doing well and a younger daughter who suffers from an autoimmune disease from aged 4 she is now 22 and graduating from University. Their Dad left after an affair with his secretary. The kids were 12,10 and 6. We had been married for 19 years and met at 16 years old. We had a good marriage until he became a multi millionaire & money changed him. He favoured our eldest daughter. During the break up he couldn't be bothered with the kids and treated me and them atrociously. My daughter hated me even though her Dad in the end admitted it was his fault but she loved him so much. My son became depressed & he got counselling but even to this day his Dad belittles him. My youngest was a quiet thoughtful child in and out of hospital but is a determind young lady. I think that I had a bit of a breakdown when it happened crying as I was so shocked, devastated and I had to cope with everything alone. I tried so hard to be a good mother and I know we had lots of holidays and happy times. I did overcompensate and would try so hard but with my eldest it was never enough. Once she pushed me through a glass table! She has punched me and called me hideous names. Even as an adult she has been rude towards me. Everything is black and white to her there's no grey area. I do think that her Dad and I let them down as the divorce wasn't handled very well. He was absent and rude to me setting the tone. He never sided with me regardless of what my daughter did. My childhood was awful my mum beat us & emotionally abused us too. We ended up in a children's home which I loved as I at last felt safe. My mum cut me out of her life when I was 26 I ran away from home at 17 and Iam now tired. I tried extra hard to be a good mother or a good enough one. My daughter reminds me of my own mother and that scares me. She adores my grand daughter but how will she cope if she becomes a rude insolent teenager. I pray to God that her husband sticks around as I know he suffers with her moods and irrationality. I pray that she turns up to therapy. She wants validation that I singled her out. But I didnt. I will admit that there were a couple of occasions that I wZnted her to go live with her Dad but she refused to go. It was her idea to get therapy so surely she wants to move forward? My fear is that she will use the opportunity to attack me. Apparently she confronted her Dad about his neglect & other things he did to hurt her, he apologised and they're ok now! When I have apologised for our strained relationship it's not enough. There are different rules it seems. I'm exhausted physically & mentally. I've been Unwell on and off all year. When the doctor asked if I was stressed I just laughed. I'am not depressed just devastated. I hate myself. I don't want to be a victim I am a fighter, I don't normally give up. Please God I have to find the strength & you all really have helped me. I thank you so much.so sorry if I'm rambling on. [/QUOTE]
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