Bedwetting Issues

[susiestar]

Oh, hon,

This is so hard. It is pretty easy to feel she is just being defiant. I know I felt that about MANY of my son's behaviors. I later learned that it was not totally under his control.

Have you seen a pediatric gastroenterologist (I know, one more doctor visit to fit in, and one more bill. Sigh.)? We have a very very good one. He says that while psychological factors may be part of it, it is rare for that to be all of it. Sometimes the nerves just don't grow the way they should, or at the "normal" rate.

I hope you can get your mom around to the point of not blaming your daughter. That will make it much worse. Same for you and husband. Shame and blame just don't work.

A freind of mine has had similar problems. Her kids jsut could not control it because the signal that they needed to go was not registered in the brain. A good Occupational Therapist might be able to help. Some of what they do helps the brain sort out and use the signals sent by the body.

Would it be at all possible to tell her you have a new plan? and then take a stack of thrift store books, or some favorite toy, or music - whatever she likes, and have you read to her while she is on the toilet? Or play with her, whatever. I only say this because my bro potty trained me. He was about 5 and in school. He would take me in, sit me down and read to me until we ran out of books in the room. It was the ONLY way to get me to sit still. I still razz him about it!

Hugs,

Susie

 

[Arielle]

Oh, hon,

This is so hard. It is pretty easy to feel she is just being defiant. I know I felt that about MANY of my son's behaviors. I later learned that it was not totally under his control.

Have you seen a pediatric gastroenterologist (I know, one more doctor visit to fit in, and one more bill. Sigh.)? We have a very very good one. He says that while psychological factors may be part of it, it is rare for that to be all of it. Sometimes the nerves just don't grow the way they should, or at the "normal" rate.

I hope you can get your mom around to the point of not blaming your daughter. That will make it much worse. Same for you and husband. Shame and blame just don't work.

A freind of mine has had similar problems. Her kids jsut could not control it because the signal that they needed to go was not registered in the brain. A good Occupational Therapist might be able to help. Some of what they do helps the brain sort out and use the signals sent by the body.

Would it be at all possible to tell her you have a new plan? and then take a stack of thrift store books, or some favorite toy, or music - whatever she likes, and have you read to her while she is on the toilet? Or play with her, whatever. I only say this because my bro potty trained me. He was about 5 and in school. He would take me in, sit me down and read to me until we ran out of books in the room. It was the ONLY way to get me to sit still. I still razz him about it!

Hugs,

Susie

I just wish I knew what brought this on. Prior to September there were no issues with soiling her pants.

Up until now, she has only had these episodes either at my Mom's house or mine and only in front of immediate family. Yesterday, we had a celebration with friends for her birthday. It was a great day. We went out to eat and ate cake at our house. My friend was playing with daughter with one of her new toys in her room. Before my friend and husband left for the evening, she whispered in my ear that she smelled my daughter and her room stunk from stool. I was utterly embarassed. I am now worried that she will start this in school. If that is the case, I don't know how I will be able to handle it. I would die of utter embrassment (there is a clique of big-mouth gossiping mothers) and told my husband that he would have to bring daughter to and from school.

I have had a heart-to-heart with husband and told him that I want daughter to see a child psychiatrist NOW. I can't take this any longer. I am hoping the child psychiatrist will be able to help. When I took her to the developmental pediatrician in November, she simply just brushed it off. Back then, the soiling was less infrequent. It subsided for a while around Christmas, but started up again in the last 2-3 weeks and is happening every day.

I would like to see what the Child Psychiatrist will say and I would also like to have her checked by a gastro person. My true thought is that this is more mental than physical. I need to check both cases out.

Hugs,
Arielle

 

[gcvmom]

FWIW, my easy child/difficult child 3 developed secondary eneurisis after a stressful time in our family (brother was very, very ill for many months). After trying the DDAVP with no success, and limited liquids at bedtime, having her go pee before bed, etc., I asked our psychiatrist about it. His take was that she had anxiety and was so exhausted from holding in the tension and worry that she was sleeping too deeply to be aroused from sleep by a full bladder. We put her on a very low dose (5mg) of Lexapro, and within a week, she was dry! In our case, I firmly believe the anxiety factor, because this is also the same kid who was terrified of palm trees as a toddler

As for the bowel issues, if this is something new that's developed, I would be very concerned about whether this is due to some kind of psychological trauma or abuse. Just my 2 cents.