Hi Everyone - After much discussion and more violent episodes, we have moved difficult child out of the house. I feel like there is so much to say, and I do not know where to start. Here are the highlights (or low-lights depending on how you look at it!) Due to some issues with some college money his grandparents put into a trust when he was born, I still cannot get difficult child on Medicaid or SSI. So - working on that. However, I was able to find an agency that I can pay for community habilitation services until he is on Medicaid (services include organization, adapting to community, hygiene, living issues, etc.) We moved him to an apt on the busline, near the community college he wants to attend and are paying for it and all of his expenses with the trust money until we can get it down to a Medicaid allowed number - hopefully August. So, in other words not really kicked out, but placed elsewhere because he is too violent to live in our home. The move was terrible - he was verbally abusive the whole week before, was not prepared and disappeared the day before not contacting us and did not come home until the middle of the night. The results - HORRIBLE. He decided in his delusional world, that he is an independent adult, can live in filth, does not have to talk to us, the service providers, his extended family (not returning ANY calls), etc. We kicked him out, so we do not deserve to know of his existence. So, after two weeks, we gave him a list of expectation which included the minimal things he needed to adhere to in order for us to pay for 8 credits of community college (he thinks he is a musical prodigy destined for greatness) and for safety reasons, minimal things he needs to do in order for us to keep him in an apt. These are (in his mind ridiculous and demanding things): All appointments for services (listed all out in detail) must be kept Active participation in the college pilot program and the Community Hab programs All phone calls (or facebook conversations) received from parents, landlord and service providers (again listed out) must be returned within 24 hours with no exceptions We expect you to take your medicine as prescribed. Your pill container will be checked weekly by a parent or service provider Apartment must be secure every time you leave; this includes doors locked, downstairs curtains closed, and bike secured Landlord must be notified within 24 hours of apartment issues/repairs needed You must be actively looking and applying for employment and get a job Maintain reasonable sanitary conditions in residence (we listed a few things - the landlord has a pest inspection monthly) Well difficult child FLIPPED out - said he would not go along with any of it and told us to F off. We said if he decided not to, that was his choice, but then we would not pay for any credits. Anyway, as you can imagine, this conversation went from bad to worse and we left. Fast forward to this past Saturday, two weeks later. He was again not speaking with us. My husband had one good interaction with him (so 1 day of 30) last week where difficult child was a bit self deprecating and admitted he needed help with some of these living things. But then nothing - he missed his therapy appointment and did not respond to phone calls from her. We are positive he is not taking his medications (includes Lithium, Lamictal, Abilify and Welbutrin) and now I am waiting for him to become violent in the community and get arrested. Then Saturday he called and my husband had a thoroughly abusive conversation with difficult child, where my husband was calm and concise (I was very impressed and proud of him) explaining to difficult child what he needed to do for us to continue to support him financially with difficult child yelling and screaming at him in full rage, blame deflection aggressive menacing mode. The only difference between this and past interaction is - it was on the phone so no violent ending! That is the one positive thing in ALL of this - we can come home whenever we want and do not have to fear for our lives on a regular basis - can once again sleep at night not worrying he will hurt us while we sleep. But, my husband continually beats himself up even though EVERY service provider continually tells us we have done more and have gone over and beyond what they normally see in their clients and families. The problem now is that at 18 he can refuse services, all have to be voluntary - which I already knew from reading so many of your posts - witsend, JKF, recovering enabler... I have no clue what is going to happen next or how to prepare my husband for the fact that difficult child might end up being homeless because he is refusing all help. My husband was like "well I have no issue paying for the apt until the trust $$ runs out". My response - "And then what??" I know I am leaving out TONS, but that is pretty much it in a nutshell. WHEW!