When last we left difficult child #2, back in January of this year, he was sitting in YDC charged with felony obstruction charges for biting the officer(s) that came to help calm him for transport to the ER. Well...so much has happened since then. No charges, no jail time, and no more help than what we started with then. And now we have more legal troubles coming!! Short story? A change in psychiatrists, lots of changes in medications, 4 more emergency hospitalizations for stabilization, and loads more difficult child-type drama, countless phone calls, countless office visits to various state and local agencies and organizations, begging, pleading, threatening, and begging some more for someone - anyone to help me get this boy into a secure Residential Treatment Center (RTC) facility before one of us winds up dead, we are now at the end of the line. difficult child 2 attacked both of his siblings as well as me this past Tuesday evening. (difficult child 1 is 32 weeks pregnant now, making difficult child 2's violent outbursts just that much more dire.) He pinned his pregnant sister to the ground and was beating her in the head, then pinned his brother to the couch and beat the side of his face bloody, all the while throwing and pushing me around as I tried desperately to keep him away from everyone as he screamed he would kill us all and any cops we called to the house, etc. We wound up running out of the house, locking ourselves in my Jeep, and hauling our hinnies to the police department while difficult child 2 chased the car throwing an unmounted basketball hoop (backboard and all), a 50 gal trash can, stones from the driveway and anything else he could get his hands on at the car. The police had EMTs come to the station to check the kids. I asked to have difficult child 2 arrested, but the "powers that be" at YDC said to just release him back to my custody. I refused, another call was made, and YDC still refused to allow him to be arrested. They said to just send him home with me (while difficult child 3 is being seen by EMTs for possible broken bones in his face and difficult child 1 complaining she was having pains in her side.) My kids need immediate medical attention via the ER because their brother attacked them and I'M SUPPOSED TO JUST TAKE HIM BACK HOME???? No, we went the ER instead, with all 3 kids in tow. difficult children 1 & 3 to be checked out for injuries and difficult child 2 to be admitted to the child's psychiatric ward. difficult child 2 has been inpatient since around 5am Wednesday morning. (Luckily, the other kids all checked out okay - just bruised and sore.) They started him on Geodon Thursday night and wanted to send him home this past Friday. On hearing that, I ran like a wild banshee to juvenile court to see if I could convince them to do something before the hospital released him to come home and kill someone. They said it was a medical problem, not a criminal one. They couldn't do anything. They haven't received the complaint from the local police yet, and even when they do they'll just schedule a court date for me to bring him in again. Naturally, at the family meeting where difficult child was supposed to be released from the psychiatric ward, I refused. Hospital staff says its now a legal problem, not a medical one, they can't do anything more. I flat out refused (on advice of his psychiatrist and the head probation officer at juvenile court) to bring him home. They threatened to call DFCS and have me charged with abandonment. (HA!! Live with my difficult child 2 for a few weeks & you'll understand why that holds absolutely NO fear factor for me, you over-educated morons!!) They are giving me until Monday to ensure that this is the decision I want to make. Get how they tried to change my mind....I asked if there was a way to negotiate a therapeutic foster home temporarily until we can get him placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The therapist says "no, not with difficult child's history of violent outbursts." So I asked her if I refused to take him home and DFCS took custody, what would they do with him if they wouldn't feel safe placing him in a therapeutic foster home? Her answer, meant to somehow influence me NOT to refuse to take him??? She said they would have to immediately place him in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) facility. Umm. Excuse me. Let me get this straight. If I take him home with me, he's going to kill one of us - no doubt in my mind whatsoever. We simply DO NOT have 6-9 MORE months to wait for a spot to open up somewhere. If I refuse to take him home, he'll be placed immediately because of his history, and all I have to do is get arrested and deal with abandonment charges? Umm. Duh. I'll take a smudge on my criminal record if it gets difficult child into a secure setting where he can get the help he needs and our family will finally be safe. (Especially since we'll have a newborn baby in the house in 6-7 weeks!) I tried to explain to the hospital staff that I love my son - more than they could ever imagine - and because of that, I simply can't take him back home. When he's calm and lucid, he would never be able to live with himself if he truly hurt someone or worse. But unfortunately, the "other side" of him doesn't care about any of that. He's the side that is going to eventually kill someone if someone doesn't get off their bureaucratic butt and DO SOMETHING!!! It's not like I just woke up one morning and decided I just didn't want to deal with my son anymore. We've spent YEARS trying medications, trying therapies, trying everything. Nothing has helped for more than a few weeks. And his violent outbursts get more and more severe with each passing month. For crying out loud - the kid's 5'10" and weighs 200 lbs!! The rest of us are barely 5'2" with my youngest son (difficult child 3) being the heaviest at 150lbs. The last time we called the police it took THREE full-grown men to bring him down and get him handcuffed. How in the world are WE supposed to manage him??!!?? I have been to every agency there is - juvenile court, DFCS, private doctors, community mental health services, non-profit groups, charitable organizations, political officials, you name it. I've been to all of them. I have begged. I have pleaded. I have cried. I have screamed. I have called lawyers. I have all but offered my soul to the Devil if someone would just Please, Please, Please help us get him more intense care. We've had in-home services, IFI services, cognitive therapists, behavior mod therapists, psychiatrists, neurologists, geneticists, psycho pharmacologists, education consultants, and just about ever other "ist" in the book. There isn't an SSRI, stimulant, or antipsychotic on the market we haven't tried. His medication history encompasses 18 pages of his medical records we've tried so many medication cocktails it's a wonder I'm not a defacto pharmacist! I simply have no other options. Waiting the weekend isn't going to change that. Nothing short of Donald Trump walking up to me with a check for difficult child to go to a private Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (to the tune of $60,000 and up!!) would change anything by waiting until Monday. He still can't come home. Not unless they are willing to give me the same options to chemically restrain him at home that they have in the hospital. (I've been asking for that for almost a year now, to no avail. I've even had psychiatrists ask me what I mean by a PRN medication.) The way I see it, I have two choices, both of which land me in jail. Based on previous dealings with our local DFCS, if I let him come home and he does seriously injure someone (or worse, Heaven forbid!) I can be held criminally liable for not protecting my other children from a known and documented threat. If I refuse to take him home, they'll arrest me and charge me with abandonment. Hmm. Let's see, both options put me in jail, but the latter option means I go to jail with no one getting hurt. Um. Duh. I'll take the abandonment charges for $4,000, Alex. I just think it's so stupid that I have to go to jail to get my son the treatment he needs and make sure the rest of my family is safe. How civilized our society has become. Anyway, sorry to have rambled and ranted in such a long post after having been off the boards for so long. I just needed a minute to rant and rail at the Fates. I knew this was the one place I could do it and other would truly understand. The whole family and everyone close to me is being so supportive (I've already had half a dozen offers to post my bail - two of which asked if it could be pre-paid so I wouldn't have to sit downtown for quite so long) but even as much as I need their support, it's not the same as other parents who understand exactly where I am.