Well, it finally happened. The "big showdown". McWeedy took off into to the giant maw of the night, ne'er to be heard from until he strolled in after midnight (on a school night). In the immortal words of Paul Harvey, "now, for the REST of the story". When McWeedy left, wife told him to be home at 10. He complained that HS was out for the next two days, but wife reminded him that he was also in college, and had classes at 8am the next morning. He gave her his best "You godda be kiddin me" look, then left the house with his friend without another word. Typical McWeedy ODD drill: disappear, don't answer your phone, bust curfew, repeat in a few days. Only this time, wife said she was tired of McW "walking all over her, hurting her, etc..". I said "okay, he's already lost his phone for not answering. If he's not home by 10:30, and we haven't heard from him, I'm locking the door". wife says "okay". So, 10:30 rolls around, no McWeedy, no phone calls, nadda. So I lock up his car and the van, pack up a couple of pillows/blankets/sleeping bags, throw them in my junker car, and leave a note on the door saying he could sleep in the car tonight, and that I'd unlock the door at 6:30 the next morning. And if he tried to break in, we'd call the police". I then shut off his phone, locked up the house, and went to bed. About quarter 'till 12, wife gets up and starts pacing around, finally goes down to watch TV. About 12:15am, I hear the door open and her asking McW "where are you going?" (I assume he came to the door, read the note, and turned around to leave). Next thing I know, wife opens the door and lets McW in the house, and they go into the living room for a long, quiet talk (i.e. so I don't hear). I go down once or twice to follow up on my pledge: took his phone away for good, and told him he needed to find somewhere else to live. Then went back to bed with the both of them staring laser-beam holes through my back as I left. Around 1am, wife comes stomping up the stairs, puts McW to bed in his room, then strolls in and informs me that McW got arrested again, this time for shoplifting. Now I know where the new shoes, shirts, etc. have been coming from, and I don't mean "borrowing them from his friends", which is his favorite excuse. I always wondered why they never seem to want their brand new stuff back, though. Do I really look that stupid to him? ARGH!!! He has a court date, but he won't make it there because his PO will probably violate him and revoke his diversion long before then. Sadly, I'm betting that he'll see several months of jail time because of this. Had he been violated for smoking dope or drinking while on drug diversion, he MIGHT have been able to go to county rehab, then halfway house, then back into diversion or probation. But after this stupid stunt? My guess is the judge and prosecutor will probably lower the boom on him to try and make a point about how "civilized society" treats teen malcontents - especially ones that deliberately flaunt the rules and dare anyone to catch them. Even more sadly, they'll do it as a last-ditch effort to give him a taste of "what's to come" if he doesn't start acting like a reasonably competent adult. I guess I should have expected this. I guess I did, just not this soon. I can't even say that I'm scared, or worried, or even sad - is that a good thing? I'm not happy about it, either, but wife doesn't see it that way. Whomever told me to not bank much on wife finally "coming around" was right. Somehow, this is now all my fault in her eyes, and she's right back in full mommy defense mode, complete with the two page "I know you can pull through this, I'll do ANYTHING to help you...." letter she left on his pillow after he went to sleep. To borrow a quote from the PSST post by Ant'sMom: "I was still trying to hold his life together and minimize the damage his drug use was causing. I still believed that he was not an addict. That he would work through this experiment of his, recapture his life, and we would all live happily ever after as it was supposed to be." Sounds JUST like my beloved wife And finally, just to make the day complete, I found a text message on his phone telling Weedette that he was failing every one of his college classes. Wow, I never saw THAT one coming, either..... Ugh. After the last big blow-up, I told McWeedy that this would either be the beginning of the end, or a new beginning to a better life. But either way, it would be his choice - and if he chose wrong, he shouldn't expect ANY support from me other than my love and best wishes. Guess he made his choice, and if wife hadn't intervened, McW would have found out how serious I truly was. I may have to wait on the whole "find another place to live" thing, though. I meant it when I said it, and I also meant it when I told wife that SHE had a choice to make as well; just as I wasn't going to support McW's destructive choices any more, I wasn't going to abide her support of those choices, either. He hurts her again and again and again, and she just lets it keep coming. I won't watch McW destroy himself, nor will I watch wife let McW repeatedly hurt her (and forbid me to put a stop to it) anymore. But, the point may be moot; The county may give McW alternate living arrangements in the near future, so I'll wait to see what happens before pushing the button. But even if he goes to jail, then to whatever, I'll still have to deal with wife and her misplaced anger after he's gone. And after last night, that may be the worst thing yet in this pathetic drama. Updates later, as they happen. Mikey PS: once this final episode is over, I'll probably move over to PE (assuming I'm not living in a padded room of my own by then).