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Special Ed 101
Behavior plan in high school
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 5458" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>I am not sure if I can explain what I have been thinking in a way that will sound...right......(I will do my best)</p><p></p><p>As one of my dtrs goals on her HS IEP it said she would learn to identify her feelings and needs- or something very close to that. The school kept trying to say she had not even come close to meeting this goal, but much closer to the reality is SHE had learned to identify her feelings and needs. Part of the problem was often the school staff did not honor or respect her feelings or needs.....</p><p>My dtr had spent years in group therapy and 1-1 therapy being taught when she is within a group where things get hot and ugly, she should NOT explode with the group or get confrontational, but instead.she should back off, remove herself from the possibly explosive situation. (learn she can control HER responses) </p><p>She also spent years learning she does not have to yell or shout or have an outburst.... she should take a deep breath, take a step back and regroup- count to 10, whatever, BEFORE responding etc. </p><p>She also spent years learning NOT to touch another person or violate their "personal space" </p><p></p><p>She was in an ED BD self contained classroom. It was quite a....distracting.....chaotic? environment. SHe was the only girl. Very often the class could get "rowdy" This would upset her. She would say to the aide or teacher that it was causing her panic and she would ask to leave the room. YAY! She WAS identifying her feelings and her needs. Sadly- far too often the staff would.....touch her on the head or shoulder or take her arm.....dismiss her feelings, try to nudge her physically right back into the fray. </p><p>They denied her the ability to escape out of a situation that she knew could escalate her....they dismissed her assessment of her feelings and her needs, and they violated her personal space and touched her. They ignored the fact that while she had a mental illness and she did have some immaturity, and she was in fact in an ED BD classroom- she still did KNOW her limits, and she knew what she needed. (plus she HAD a pass to leave the room at any time....on a well laid out path from class to a certain office, supposedly without having to do more than simply show her pass..... she had the pass for these exact reasons.....) </p><p>Instead far too many staff would try to force her to explain her feelings of the moment, or over ride what my dtr and the IE team had mapped out. </p><p>I am trying to say, sometimes the difficult children DO know what they need at a given moment. Sometimes people try to label this immaturity, when it might be quite the opposite. As adults we have some freedom to pick and choose our work environments to some degree and we choose them according to our needs. If we know we are active, we do not get a sedentary job. If we are social we do not choose a solitary job. When a difficult child can state their need and desire to take actions to avoid themself exploding or engaging in even less desireable behavoir, maybe we should listen. If a difficult child due to illness disorder or medication issues knows they cannot handle the work today or the environment at the moment.......why do we argue with that? It disrupts the classroom more, it sets things up for escalation, it takes too much time and effort and the results are not usually all so great. Maybe they could go to another room, or an office, and do a different assignment, or take a power walk or do some sit ups or something, and maybe then they can come back more able to meet the demands of the classroom? </p><p>Maybe some consider that not growing up, but if they can identify their need, I myself do find some level of maturity in that. </p><p>Sometimes if we ask the difficult children they can tell us the answers. And contrary to what you might think, it can work for some kids. </p><p>Such a hard time of life to be in HS or be a teen. We expect them to act like adults, but we treat them like little kids and we do not always listen when they might have the answer. </p><p>(I hope I explained that right)</p><p></p><p>Please do not tell me that adults cannot go take a walk....I KNOW in MANY types of jobs yes adults CAN go take a short walk without having to stop, ask permission and be questioned. I realize in some types of job when yoou are responsible for people or cash registers or working on an aseembly line, it might not be possible, but......there are LOTS of jobs where it IS possible.</p><p>My dtr had very heavy monthly flow and her teachers would refuse to permit her to go take care of it. at times she would need to change twice in an hour, - being in the self contained room, they did not leave the room for the different classes, they did not have hall time....and quite often her teachers DID refuse to let her go tend to her "issue" As a working adult, most employers would not subject a person to a lengthy explanation about needing to go to the restroom. A person simply gets up and goes. But is HS you usually have to ask permission, and sometimes in HS the kids ARE told "handle that during passing periods" </p><p>we ignore the kids assuming they want to mess around.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 5458, member: 1697"] I am not sure if I can explain what I have been thinking in a way that will sound...right......(I will do my best) As one of my dtrs goals on her HS IEP it said she would learn to identify her feelings and needs- or something very close to that. The school kept trying to say she had not even come close to meeting this goal, but much closer to the reality is SHE had learned to identify her feelings and needs. Part of the problem was often the school staff did not honor or respect her feelings or needs..... My dtr had spent years in group therapy and 1-1 therapy being taught when she is within a group where things get hot and ugly, she should NOT explode with the group or get confrontational, but instead.she should back off, remove herself from the possibly explosive situation. (learn she can control HER responses) She also spent years learning she does not have to yell or shout or have an outburst.... she should take a deep breath, take a step back and regroup- count to 10, whatever, BEFORE responding etc. She also spent years learning NOT to touch another person or violate their "personal space" She was in an ED BD self contained classroom. It was quite a....distracting.....chaotic? environment. SHe was the only girl. Very often the class could get "rowdy" This would upset her. She would say to the aide or teacher that it was causing her panic and she would ask to leave the room. YAY! She WAS identifying her feelings and her needs. Sadly- far too often the staff would.....touch her on the head or shoulder or take her arm.....dismiss her feelings, try to nudge her physically right back into the fray. They denied her the ability to escape out of a situation that she knew could escalate her....they dismissed her assessment of her feelings and her needs, and they violated her personal space and touched her. They ignored the fact that while she had a mental illness and she did have some immaturity, and she was in fact in an ED BD classroom- she still did KNOW her limits, and she knew what she needed. (plus she HAD a pass to leave the room at any time....on a well laid out path from class to a certain office, supposedly without having to do more than simply show her pass..... she had the pass for these exact reasons.....) Instead far too many staff would try to force her to explain her feelings of the moment, or over ride what my dtr and the IE team had mapped out. I am trying to say, sometimes the difficult children DO know what they need at a given moment. Sometimes people try to label this immaturity, when it might be quite the opposite. As adults we have some freedom to pick and choose our work environments to some degree and we choose them according to our needs. If we know we are active, we do not get a sedentary job. If we are social we do not choose a solitary job. When a difficult child can state their need and desire to take actions to avoid themself exploding or engaging in even less desireable behavoir, maybe we should listen. If a difficult child due to illness disorder or medication issues knows they cannot handle the work today or the environment at the moment.......why do we argue with that? It disrupts the classroom more, it sets things up for escalation, it takes too much time and effort and the results are not usually all so great. Maybe they could go to another room, or an office, and do a different assignment, or take a power walk or do some sit ups or something, and maybe then they can come back more able to meet the demands of the classroom? Maybe some consider that not growing up, but if they can identify their need, I myself do find some level of maturity in that. Sometimes if we ask the difficult children they can tell us the answers. And contrary to what you might think, it can work for some kids. Such a hard time of life to be in HS or be a teen. We expect them to act like adults, but we treat them like little kids and we do not always listen when they might have the answer. (I hope I explained that right) Please do not tell me that adults cannot go take a walk....I KNOW in MANY types of jobs yes adults CAN go take a short walk without having to stop, ask permission and be questioned. I realize in some types of job when yoou are responsible for people or cash registers or working on an aseembly line, it might not be possible, but......there are LOTS of jobs where it IS possible. My dtr had very heavy monthly flow and her teachers would refuse to permit her to go take care of it. at times she would need to change twice in an hour, - being in the self contained room, they did not leave the room for the different classes, they did not have hall time....and quite often her teachers DID refuse to let her go tend to her "issue" As a working adult, most employers would not subject a person to a lengthy explanation about needing to go to the restroom. A person simply gets up and goes. But is HS you usually have to ask permission, and sometimes in HS the kids ARE told "handle that during passing periods" we ignore the kids assuming they want to mess around. [/QUOTE]
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