My mother is slipping and the truth is coming out in dribs and drabs.
My mother carefully crafted our reality, so that we would see our father as the 'bad' parent. In reality it was our mother that had the true drinking problem, it was our mother that said all the ugly hateful things about us and then blamed them on our father. I am not saying that my father was a great parent, but I do believe the only reason he stuck around was to protect us. My mother is slipping and the truth is coming out in dribs and drabs.
I had believed my mother's escalating nastiness since my father's death had to do with his passing.
Does this excuse her behaviour or merely explain it?
I knew. But that was because I had a step father.The thing is, we did not know just how abnormal our families of origin were.
I believe you that you did not know how strange was your family. But I would suspect it was a willful disbelief, so as to protect yourselves and them. Because they are all we have...until we learn that it is better without them. It is so, so sad.
Ouch. This is so good. Rings so true. Often I was scared of how my mother would react to something small...like her tantrum when I cut my hair. I do think I knew my mother was differebt from early on, and not in a good way.I think you are right, Copa. I did know the difference between the way my home felt, and the way the homes of other little girls felt. I did know other little girls seemed not to be afraid of their mothers, almost sickened in their presence, the way that I was. Even now, I have a sense of surprise as I pull the facts together.