Being a teenager sucks, being the mom of a teenager also sucks

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Sep 13, 2011.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore is having such a hard time with the way the world is and the way he thinks it should be. Of course, it is all my fault cause if I was a 'cool' parent then he would be 'cool' and able to hang with the "in crowd". I'm 99% certain that he doesn't even know who the "in crowd" is as the names he mentions of the kids he wants to be like are all Special Education, lower social skills kids. I don't want to bust his bubble that the 'in crowd' likely includes the varsity quarterback, the head cheerleader, the prom queen, etc and not the remedial freshmen.

    He has been sneaking wheat food because he thinks that not eating wheat is part of what is making him uncool. He feels since he ate the crackers in the middle on the night on Saturday and we didn't catch it until today that he should be home free. Um, no, but it does explain many of his behaviors since school started (he has also been eating wheat at school). You would think that when he feels bad enough to call me crying from the restroom that he wouldn't like that feeling, but since there isn't an instant reaction to the wheat, he refuses to admit that they are tied together.

    I'm so glad that we did not move him out of the Special Education reading class. I think he needs all the support he can get. I think I am going to ask for an IEP meeting to get him back into social work services. I don't see him navigating high school social scenes without the in-school help.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    One question came to mind as I was reading your description of the kids he considers "in" crowd. Are they getting more supports than he is? Is he jealous of all the help the other kids are getting that he isn't and he see's this as being more popular? Just a thought because that is something my difficult child would think. It would be interesting tofind out what he says makes them the in crowd.

    I think you are right. He seems to need more emotional support to make up for the other kinds of support the other kids might be getting that he isn't. Anyway, that is just my $.02. Poor kid.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore really struggles with the whole theory of mind thing. He assumes that because the other boys aren't telling him about their problems with their parents/girls/school that they do not have any problems. He doesn't get that others have negative thoughts, feel unsure, or lack self-esteem because he doesn't "see" them have these negative feelings and they don't broadcast them to everyone like he does.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Gotcha. That makes total sense. I still think you're right to ask for more help with this stuff. Poor kid.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I see lots of similarities here. {{hugs}}
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore has decided to run for homecoming court. One freshman boy will be elected. There are roughly 200 eligible freshman boys, I don't know how many are going to complete the self-nomination process.

    He is such a mix of contradictions. Low self-esteem but then continually puts himself out there like this....
  7. orcaauntie

    orcaauntie New Member

    I personally think it's great that he still is able to put himself out there like that. Many kids would not try if they were disappointed with the results. It is a tough position for you though. I am sure you want to encourage him to try for what he wants, but you also don't want to see him get hurt if he doesn't win. :(
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Wow... I guess that means if I was cooler, O wouldn't get in so much trouble?

    Parents are uncool. Part of the definition of parent. (If a parent is too "cool", the kid may end up totally uncontrollable. Just sayin'.)