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Parent Emeritus
Best gift we can ever give our DCs: The gift of detachment with love
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 673569" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Leafy, I think you're right when you talk about the "void." My experience was when I let go of my own enabling behavior, it left a very large empty space within me..........an interesting thing that occurred for me is that I began seeing various new "truths" in different areas of my life........now I had the time and the energy to be open to real change...........and that change infiltrated every single area of my life. In the last 2 years, since I stopped the enabling with my daughter, my entire life has changed in ways I don't believe it could have changed before. </p><p></p><p>For me, the healing of my own patterns of codependency ran deep. When the patterns broke up, I was left with quite a different reaction to my own life and my own choices and I began making small and then large changes which were healthier and more balanced and opened up new doors for me about loving and being loved. Making those changes wasn't easy, but with the focus of energy now on me, I was able to have the strength and the resolve to make them.</p><p></p><p>At this point I am in awe of how something so devastatingly painful, with so much suffering, produced healthy changes in my life that were indeed necessary and timely and offered a new experience of intimacy, vulnerability, peace of mind, freedom and wholeness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 673569, member: 13542"] Leafy, I think you're right when you talk about the "void." My experience was when I let go of my own enabling behavior, it left a very large empty space within me..........an interesting thing that occurred for me is that I began seeing various new "truths" in different areas of my life........now I had the time and the energy to be open to real change...........and that change infiltrated every single area of my life. In the last 2 years, since I stopped the enabling with my daughter, my entire life has changed in ways I don't believe it could have changed before. For me, the healing of my own patterns of codependency ran deep. When the patterns broke up, I was left with quite a different reaction to my own life and my own choices and I began making small and then large changes which were healthier and more balanced and opened up new doors for me about loving and being loved. Making those changes wasn't easy, but with the focus of energy now on me, I was able to have the strength and the resolve to make them. At this point I am in awe of how something so devastatingly painful, with so much suffering, produced healthy changes in my life that were indeed necessary and timely and offered a new experience of intimacy, vulnerability, peace of mind, freedom and wholeness. [/QUOTE]
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Best gift we can ever give our DCs: The gift of detachment with love
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