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Family of Origin
Betrayal of self: Who do you trust?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674611" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Iris lost her husband of 67 years in August. She is 3 years older than my Mother.</p><p></p><p>The director of the movie about her which was released this year died in April this year. His name was Albert Mayles. He also made the famous documentary Gimme Shelter from the early 1970's.</p><p></p><p>I wonder what it is like to lose a mate of 67 years. He may have been ill. I do not know. He was almost 101 years old.</p><p></p><p> I wonder if there is an acceptance or great loss. Or both. I wonder how one goes on when they are already so old. Did she lose her great optimism and hope? </p><p></p><p>It seems complicated. This aging business. All we have left is the much fewer years in front of us. So there is the urgency to live fully. </p><p></p><p>But then there is the awareness of great impending and inevitable loss. Does one prepare themselves as they go, so that when a partner departs, there is acceptance or is there denial like with me and my Mother? </p><p></p><p>I was thinking about it a couple of weeks ago. Losing a lifelong mate. There is a famous couple. The man is a very famous modern furniture designer. I forget his name (again.) Vladimir Kagan, that is it. His wife was Erica Wilson the famous British needlework designer. I saw pictures of their apartment about 5 years ago and they stuck with me. </p><p></p><p>Then a couple of weeks ago when I was looking for needlepoint patterns, I saw she had died in 2009. I felt such a loss. I do not know why. It might have been the beauty and personality of their apartment in NYC. It was so personal to them. When people live in such a way that manifests who they I feel I know them. That is how Iris strikes me. She manifests who she is by her dress and her work. Erica Wilson by her home. Her work.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674611, member: 18958"] Iris lost her husband of 67 years in August. She is 3 years older than my Mother. The director of the movie about her which was released this year died in April this year. His name was Albert Mayles. He also made the famous documentary Gimme Shelter from the early 1970's. I wonder what it is like to lose a mate of 67 years. He may have been ill. I do not know. He was almost 101 years old. I wonder if there is an acceptance or great loss. Or both. I wonder how one goes on when they are already so old. Did she lose her great optimism and hope? It seems complicated. This aging business. All we have left is the much fewer years in front of us. So there is the urgency to live fully. But then there is the awareness of great impending and inevitable loss. Does one prepare themselves as they go, so that when a partner departs, there is acceptance or is there denial like with me and my Mother? I was thinking about it a couple of weeks ago. Losing a lifelong mate. There is a famous couple. The man is a very famous modern furniture designer. I forget his name (again.) Vladimir Kagan, that is it. His wife was Erica Wilson the famous British needlework designer. I saw pictures of their apartment about 5 years ago and they stuck with me. Then a couple of weeks ago when I was looking for needlepoint patterns, I saw she had died in 2009. I felt such a loss. I do not know why. It might have been the beauty and personality of their apartment in NYC. It was so personal to them. When people live in such a way that manifests who they I feel I know them. That is how Iris strikes me. She manifests who she is by her dress and her work. Erica Wilson by her home. Her work. COPA [/QUOTE]
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