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<blockquote data-quote="ElizabethL" data-source="post: 652559" data-attributes="member: 18900"><p>Bio dad wasn't abusive, he just wasn't around. More interested in himself. Neither of us were stable when I conceived, and I didn't know him well at all. We weren't that close, and he was defensive about any questions regarding his own mental health. It's the issues his mother had that I have always been on the lookout for manifestation in the boy, because she told me that while the multiple personality disorder was due to severe abuse, her manic depression had a place in her family history, and she was sure bio dad had it too. </p><p></p><p>When the boy was 1ish, bio dad was off to prison for forgery. He was released to house arrest 6 months later, but started dating the next door neighbor, so wasn't in the house at all. We'd broken up prior to his incarceration, and I had been sleeping in another room long before that. We didn't fight, we were a united unit as far as the boy was concerned. We all went to doctor visits and emergency room visits together. The animosity came later, when he started refusing to help with support or maintain scheduled contact, but the boy was completely sheltered from that. It wasn't until he came to me in tears around age 8 about feeling like he had a parent that didn't want him that I even spoke about his bio dad at any length, and I was careful to punctuate everything with how it wasn't his fault, bio dad loves him very much, he's just not in a place to be an active father figure (bio dad has gone on to have several other children, whom he also doesn't have interaction with). At the time, I had thought his behavior issues were directly related to a lack of a father figure in his life, and I'm sure it does play a role in how he handles his emotions, but the degree to which he has those emotions goes to the extreme end of the spectrum.</p><p></p><p>We lived in 4 places before the boy was 8 months old, where we stayed in one place until about 2 and a half. Then bio dad and I parted ways, where the boy and I did a little roaming in two states before settling down in a third state, where we've been since he was 4-5.</p><p></p><p>We don't have animals, so I have no eye-witness accounts of any interactions with animals. The boy hangs out at friends houses, and the next-door neighbor who all have cats and dogs, and the only thing I've heard about animals is how much the boy wants one. If he was caught being cruel, the neighbors would have let me know he wasn't welcome in their house (as a matter of fact, all I hear when I speak to neighbors and his friends' parents is what a joy he is, so polite, helpful, and kind- they simply adore him). I don't think he feels one way or another about fire, but I'm not going to ask him and risk putting the thought in his head that he should be fascinated by it. As for being sexually inappropriate.. I want to lean toward a yes on that one, but not in a physical sense. When he has unmonitored access to the internet, he gravitates towards pictures that involve cartoons behaving in a sexually inappropriate manner.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ElizabethL, post: 652559, member: 18900"] Bio dad wasn't abusive, he just wasn't around. More interested in himself. Neither of us were stable when I conceived, and I didn't know him well at all. We weren't that close, and he was defensive about any questions regarding his own mental health. It's the issues his mother had that I have always been on the lookout for manifestation in the boy, because she told me that while the multiple personality disorder was due to severe abuse, her manic depression had a place in her family history, and she was sure bio dad had it too. When the boy was 1ish, bio dad was off to prison for forgery. He was released to house arrest 6 months later, but started dating the next door neighbor, so wasn't in the house at all. We'd broken up prior to his incarceration, and I had been sleeping in another room long before that. We didn't fight, we were a united unit as far as the boy was concerned. We all went to doctor visits and emergency room visits together. The animosity came later, when he started refusing to help with support or maintain scheduled contact, but the boy was completely sheltered from that. It wasn't until he came to me in tears around age 8 about feeling like he had a parent that didn't want him that I even spoke about his bio dad at any length, and I was careful to punctuate everything with how it wasn't his fault, bio dad loves him very much, he's just not in a place to be an active father figure (bio dad has gone on to have several other children, whom he also doesn't have interaction with). At the time, I had thought his behavior issues were directly related to a lack of a father figure in his life, and I'm sure it does play a role in how he handles his emotions, but the degree to which he has those emotions goes to the extreme end of the spectrum. We lived in 4 places before the boy was 8 months old, where we stayed in one place until about 2 and a half. Then bio dad and I parted ways, where the boy and I did a little roaming in two states before settling down in a third state, where we've been since he was 4-5. We don't have animals, so I have no eye-witness accounts of any interactions with animals. The boy hangs out at friends houses, and the next-door neighbor who all have cats and dogs, and the only thing I've heard about animals is how much the boy wants one. If he was caught being cruel, the neighbors would have let me know he wasn't welcome in their house (as a matter of fact, all I hear when I speak to neighbors and his friends' parents is what a joy he is, so polite, helpful, and kind- they simply adore him). I don't think he feels one way or another about fire, but I'm not going to ask him and risk putting the thought in his head that he should be fascinated by it. As for being sexually inappropriate.. I want to lean toward a yes on that one, but not in a physical sense. When he has unmonitored access to the internet, he gravitates towards pictures that involve cartoons behaving in a sexually inappropriate manner. [/QUOTE]
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