Beyond insane easy child update GRRR ACK!

[dreamer]

OK..so, there are a couple previous threads related to easy child. I am far beyond ability to .....um.....something. I came now here simply to just relay what has gone on, now. I am totally exhausted, due to difficult child haveing her own crisis and husband haveing HIS own, and ALL depending on me for all their normal day to day needs PLUS all their special needs and crises. So I came to this morning with no sleep at all, and nothing to eat this morning for ...?24 hours or so? And already worn to a frazzle.
So, handled the 5 am part of difficult children crisis, gave up bothering to try to eat sleep or bathe, and jumped right into PCs crisis....
She did feel good enough to dial the doctor today. Actually she did call dr yesterday as well....but, between her um...difficultes and docs not really paying attention, she did not accomplish all she needed to yesterday. ER had given her a note to NOT work, but it was only good for 4 days and required her own dr to release her back to work. Plus the newest medications- no help- and more new issues, the throat for one. and the ultrasound. So now, there are 4 ob gynes together..and since the 2 OTHER facilities were NOT gonna take easy child on.....we were in a hard place. SO our doctor of choice (Dr Z) saw easy child first time for this all....and then the 2nd dr, dr Y phoned in phenergan.....but blew us off.....today we got dr K.....dr K decided maybe she SHOULD see easy child after all, so we go in. at first dr k is patting us on head telling us how morning sickness is normal and we need to buck up etc. we are over reacting, it is not possible that easy child is keeping NOTHING down, and look, see, she has not puked dureing this appointment. Takes us step by step- eat crackers, sip water, you are gonna feel queasy, but the world will not end. Um, scuse me, um, we have been in once already for this and to ER twice...and yes, it IS severe, requireing IV rehydration, causeing fears of cardiac problems, requireing EKG......maybe ER now has gotten themself straight and gotten the paperwork to you about the er visists> No, dr says no, you could not have been in ER, there is nothing here from er. O well, call them and get it cuz there was a problem with that......OK so dr is patting us on head, dismissing us as over reactive, nervous nellies....uh no, wait, um, why do we have zofran and phenergan and prevacid and pepcid and er rehydration if this is garden variety morning sickness. what about work? oh well, you know preg is normal, you should go to work. OK then give a release. easy child says hey I want to sign release of info and POA cuz this is overwhelming me and I was so sick and couldn't talk to you and you would not talk to her, but I am sure I signed both on my first visit here, so can I sign them AGAIN? Dr jumps up and says NO, there is NO SUCH PAPERWORK. and no, noone here would ever say they would not take a call on a patients behalf. Um, pardon me but YES they DID refuse to talk to me or we would have been here 3 DAYS ago. Furthermore, the ER is getting quite angry and demanding we NOT show up there again until we follow up here with "PCs doctor" becuz their paperwork clearly says they do not diagnosis, do not treat, they ONLY stabilize, and then require a patient to go to their personal dr for followup--and we have now been at ER TWICE for rehydration, and ER wants to know WHAT you are DOING to stop this from occureing.
doctor tells me to sue hospital. Um, whatever, but what ARE you doing to prevent another crisis of dehydration? She said well easy child must EAT. Um yesterday the nurse here told easy child not to bother trying to eat if she keeps throwing up LIQUIDS. Dr says but she has not thrown up here, she cannot be throwing up. Take the medications you have. easy child says but I CAN'T, I cannot swallow and they do not stay down, anyway, even if I do get them down. doctor says no, they are suppositories, why would you swallow them? WHY would we give you pills if you say you are puking?
Uh, NO< they are NOT suppositories. Dr insists they ARE. BUT it is not this dr who ordered them. I picked up the RX and NO, they are NOT, well, I must be wrong, and I must be giving suppositories orally. I should read the bottle. UM, hello? I KNOW what the bottle says.....and it says "by mouth" dr actually calls me a liar AGAIN. and she goes to send us home. She opens the chart for something, and inside are the ER REPORTS! I said oh, look, they ARE here, please LOOK at them....this is NOT normal morning sickness. READ THEM. doctor reads them andher expression changes rather dramatically. Oh my, you are a very ill girl. Gee ya think? well dr then asks me why I waited so long to bring her in, I repeat um, your people here would not accept a call from me and easy child was too sick, and yeterday easy child rallied and called and they refused to see her then, either. Nope, dr insists I am lying and NOW doctor is accuseing ME ofbeing to blame for easy child being SO ill and not in office sooner. How dare I neglect my child this way? ACK! whatever, she then says you cannot let it go this long again, her kidneys are in danger. lets check this and then go home and DRINK. yeesh. hello, it does not STAY. well 1 minute later doctor comes back with labwork and says go straight to hospital admitting, they have a bed waiting.....your kidneys are being harmed.


ACK ACK.

SO we go to hospital, walk in, to admit, go in to register and after paperwork, the lady stays seated, hands me a pile of paper, and points- "go to 3rd floor" Um, wheere do we go on 3rd floor? To your room, of course. Um, is someone gonna take us? no. I look in my hand and see all this paperwork-------not in PCs name, but another person entirely! in the pile of papers is the hospital bracelet and all those sticky labels they use for all your labwork etc? BUT this is NOT PCs papers. SO I say um, scuse me, this is not easy child.....we are not this person.
meanwhile easy child is fadeing fast.
she hands us new paperwork, and sends us alone to find our room? YEESH. no wheelchair, easy child is dizzy sick, weak. find our room and do WHAT?
we get to 3rd floor- it is LABOR AND DEIVERY------birthing rooms. HUh? wow, ok, yeah this IS preg related but......birthing center is HIGH security. cannot exit elevator, have to push buzzer.. we push.. again. and again. nothing, we wait. easy child actually literally gets so tired and so frusttraed she curls up ON THE FLOOR.
FINALLY, just as I hit elevator button to go back down, a nurse is going off duty and freaks to find us there. JUst as elec goes off due to a t storm (unexpected one again)
Well, she stays with us, gets on phone and gets us down to 1st floor, but nope, now to 2nd floor.
2nd floor keeps easy child.sets her on a bed adnd leaves for 90 mins. we are simply sitting on a bed in a room. No hospital bracelt, no nurse, nothing. for 90 mins. Then a nurse comes sets up an IV and talks about ?? days and days? somthing, cannot remember what but I am like um, no......so she leaves and calls dr.

she comes back, starts an IV bag full open wide, it is in easy child inside 10 mins, hangs anothhe...and another. 5 IV bags full open, in in less than 3 hours.
easy child asks can my mom stay ? Nurse says no sweetie this nurse was actually kind and not nasty at all) I am gonna check your kidneys and if they are happpier now, I am calling your doctor and letting you and your mom and your honey get out of this germy ugly place and go sleep in your ownbed. By 11 pm we were on way home. LOL, when I went to get car, security gave me a hard time, said I could not be there, argued whether anyone was ever discharged at such a late hour. He actually made me go back to floor to ask nurse. She got mad at security and said ths child needs to go home where her family will take proper kind care of her instead of shuffling them all over the place.

I got home and after tucking a much much more alert and good humored easy child in her bed, I checked that blasted Rx for phenergan again..and yes, I am right.I KNEW I was right.it is NOT for suppositories at all. I have half a mind to make an appointment for MYSELF and go in and when dr comes in, shoving that pill bottle up her.....well, where the sun does not shine.

THis doctor office has caused us 3 hospital trips that may have been able to be easily prevented. They have now caused my easy child to have a possible risk to her heart and now to her kidneys. They have further endangerred my easy child unborn baby MY grandchild. they put PCs very life at risk. I never ever had a patient who got 5 full IV bags in such a short time just to stabilize. The whole time dr was arguing with me, Ikept saying LOOK at easy child, LOOK at her, even without lab results, you can clearly and obviously SEE how ill she is! They cost us thousands of dollars of bills.....easy child is young, boyfriend is young....the unexpected baby was already a huge surprise creating lots of adjustments, dramatic changes to their plans etc...and all this garbage is makeing EVERYTHING so much much worse,harder, more difficult. How they view thebaby, how they view each other, everything.
I am beyond livid, but at the moment so exhausted. and I am also quite worried as is easy child and boyfriend about what are these medications doing to the baby? or the dehydration? or the stress?

When the nurse thought easy child was staying indefinetly, and nurse told easy child noone could stay with her? She lost it, freaked out, she looked at nurse and begged, said ya know EVERYTHING has gone SO wrong and NOONE is listening to me, and they tried to XRay my foot in ER Monday and doctor called mom a liar but it is dr who lied.and I am too afraid to stay here by myself, what if something goes wrong again, and what if I am too sick to know? Please please don't make me stay here alone. Im so scared.

boyfriend s dads new girlfriend is someone I used to work with years ago in nurseing home. She is far far more aggessive than me....LOL- her and I both loved our elderly patients and we went head to head often, she was usually my relief. I was passionate but gentle, she is like a bull moose. I told boyfriend to go tell her what occured and ask HER to start going with us to ALL appts etc ....SHE will GRAB these people by their collars and shake them literally. and.LOL bfs dad works security at the partner hospital. LOL.
I am so lost, so tired, so angry and so scared. easy child is asleep now, difficult child has been checking her every 15 mins....son made me a grilled cheese......and boyfriend is just so freaked out, cuz yes, dr and hospital DID get blunt and did admit just how grave this is. Not just for the baby, but also for easy child herself. I had already forewarned boyfriend, but I am sure he thought I was just being dramatic. He had me drop him off at his moms.I think he was crying when he got out of car.
It was too late to go get the new Rx for suppositories tonite. I will go first thing in morning. PLEASE, Ihope they help, hope they work at least a little bit. easy child keeps trying to eat and drink, but everything comes back. DR at first refused to believe us. THought easy child was just saying it, and not trying to eat or drink... Until she saw the lab work. easy child is now accuseing her unborn baby of being at least suicidal andmaybe homicidal. <sigh>

Please no crisis with easy child, husband, difficult child or boyfriend tonite, I NEED a break.....easy child needs a break.....

Yes,now I am going to bed.

 

[dreamer]

oh and......as we left docs office today she DID threaten parenteral feeding via central line.......
I asked if she meant it as a threat? why would she threaten easy child. Then she said well, thats our next step- now that doctor finally is starting to get the idea of what we have been trying to get thru. <sigh>

 

[Hopeless]

What a horrible time for all of you. I am sure it is in one of your posts, but is this the only hospital your easy child can go to? They sure treated her and you horribly. The doctor and their staff sound like total idiots.

Hugs to you both and lots of "good vibes" the new medications will let easy child be able to get something to stay down.

 

[Marguerite]

Dreamer, a serious suggestion.

When you've caught up on your rest, sit down and document this. Do it in point form, as tight a summary as you can do. Try to limit it to less than a page (because burueaucrats, including doctors and other officials, do not like turning pages especially with complaints).

boyfriend's mother will need a copy of this too, so your story and her story are straight.

Your summary should list dates, places, names and events.

Example:
5 July 9am - easy child unable to keep fluids down. Concerned about dehydration, took her to ER. Outcome - ER staff rehydrated (list how much fluid) and recommended x plus follow-up with easy child's OBGYN.

6 July - I rang easy child's OBGYN, easy child too ill to make the call. doctor's staff refused to make appointment unless it was easy child herself who called.

7 JUly - easy child back in hospital again - more vomiting. Can't keep fluids down. Also can't keep any medications down. Outcome (do the same as before). Hospital said to not come back until OBGYN has dealt. They will send records to OBGYN

8 JUly - hospital sent records to wrong doctor. Refuse to send again because I'm not the patient. OBGYN can request, but refusing to because I'm not the patient. easy child too ill to talk on phone, hospital and doctor's staff both told this, still claim no option.

9 July - easy child well enough to call OBGYN. Can't see her today.

10 July - saw OBGYN. Hasn't yet read hospital records. Claimed that prescribed medications were suppository, yet what was dispensed was not. doctor apparently feels I'm lying or mistaken. doctor feels easy child is fine, should be able to take medications, isn't really sick because hasn't thrown up during consult.
doctor finds hospital files. Now acknowledges that easy child is very sick, organises immediate hospital admission for rehydration.
Hospital - considerable delays in admission including being directed to wrong area. No escort or wheelchair despite easy child being unable to cope. Eventually treated, 5 bags of fluid from very competent and sympathetic nurse, then discharge to home and more support from nurse to get security to release car from car park.


OK, fix up where I've got it wrong, but you get the idea.

If you are complaining, you then write a separate complaint letter which says in the first sentence what you are complaining about. You then state briefly a summary of the problems, mostly lack of communication, lack of being believed, lack of action where needed and files etc being misdirected. Possibly prescriptions being written/filled incorrectly also. Mention here how upset you are by this as well as how dangerous this could have been for easy child and the baby, all because people aren't paying attention or communicating appropriately and effectively.
Then state what you want - an apology from OBGYN? An opportunity to find a new OBGYN? Some way of being recognised as legitimately being allowed to speak on behalf of easy child and have it obvious so officious staff don't get in your way?

THen conclude your letter with a simple sentence about how you require a reply sooner rather than later, because this is such a serious matter and you've had enough of it being trivialised.

Attach your point form summary, and again - keep your letter to under a page.

Even if you don't actually send the letter, it is good practice to write it. It helps keep the information straight and concise, which in an emergency is exactly what is needed.

Too much detail, especially spread out and/or padded with emotion and digression, can also get in the way of effective medical response. I think you should have an OBGYN who is not only going to listen to you but who can, if they feel they need to, ask what questions they need to in order to cut to the chase (accurately) as quickly as necessary.
For example, a good doctor should be asking, "How sick has she been? How often? And for how long?" and then LOOK at her, check her eyes, her skin, her tongue - and purely on the basis of her presentation alone, making a sensible call. If the doctor thinks you've been making her take suppositories orally, and you insist you haven't but what you were given strictly said to be swallowed, the doctor is fiddling while Rome burns, if he argues with you about what he claims he wrote. Either he wrote it wrong (which should be considered) or the pharmacist made it up wrong (which clearly can easily happen, given the SNAFU happening with files, records etc) or you are doing the wrong thing (which from the doctor's point of view also has to be considered). But tat is three possibilities, the doctor shouldn't be wasting time attacking you when there are more important issues to deal with.

It sounds to me like he was more interested (at least initially) in getting you out of his rooms and moving on to the next patient. I suspect you were a squeeze-in appointment and he had already made up his mind before you even walked in the room.

easy child has been needing urgent and appropriate help. This doctor hasn't been following through. When his staff have refused to give you any credence, and he has denied this is possible - that would have me walking out permanently. Failing that, I would be talking to the staff in reception and introducing myself in the presence of the doctor. Tell the doctor to humour you - your recollection states that you were told to f off, so if you are wrong and the doctor is right - then he has nothing to lose by standing there and hearing this conversation. "Hi, my name is Dreamer, this is easy child. I am her mother. easy child, do you give me permission to call here on your behalf? easy child, do you give me permission to make appointments for you if you are too ill to talk? Staff, have you heard me? If I call, do you now acknowledge that I am doing so with easy child's permission? Now, if I should call, will you remember this?"

OK, it's a bit confrontational, but somewhere in there you need to make sure that this will not happen again.

Next time you meet someone who insists that your version of events could not be true, do NOT get caught up in, "It's true!" "It isn't!" "It's true!" "It isn't" to and fro. Instead, just say, "I am telling you what I believe has happened. You do not think it did happen. Maybe it happened during the lunch break and the work experience kid was on duty. Maybe it was the cleaner who answered the phone. Maybe it was a wrong number and I rang the proctologist instead. But it really doesn't matter. The real point is, what do we do NOW? And how can we make sure that what I believe happened, won't happen again?"

The biggest issue here is easy child's welfare. While it would be good if the doctor didn't immediately assume you are lying or exaggerating, that is secondary. As you said, you can always go in there next time and shove that bottle of pills where the sun don't shine. easy child can take the bottles at her next appointment, with the aim of clearing this up (to make sure such mistakes don't happen again).

I would also be talking to whoever dispensed that prescription, try and get a photocopy sent back to the doctor, point out that if the doctor is insisting that he wrote a script for suppositories, then this is the same as the doctor insisting that the pharmacist dispensed it wrongly. The pharmacist won't be happy with the doctor and you might learn something to your advantage from his reaction.

And in the meantime, I would be asking around to find a different OBGYN you feel she is safer with.

I wish I had done that when I had difficult child 3. I had bad vibes from the bloke I had, I didn't know him. He wasn't as good as my previous OBGYN, who had died "in harness". The new bloke had inherited the practice and although he has a great reputation, he wasn't right for me, it turned out.

Good luck with this one.

Marg

 

[klmno]

Dreamer, in one of these threads, Heather mentioned getting a personal injury attny involved. I second that suggestion because 1) some of them don't charge unless a case is won and they get their fee from taking a portion of the settlement, I think, 2) it doesn't sound like this is really solved and I think there is every reason to believe this is going to be an ongoing problem, at least until the baby is born (how far along is the pregnancy, by the way?), and 3) if the baby and/or Mom needs care outside the norm during or after birth as a result of this, it will be a lot easier to hold the dr's and hospital accountable if there is already a series of incompetent acts documented by an attny.

Keep us posted.... I am so glad that at least she got an IV for a while yesterday.

 

[hearts and roses]

{{{Dreamer}}} I'm so glad she's FINALLY getting the attention she needs and I sure hope they don't have to the perinatal IV.

Marg really pointed out some good suggestions.

I hope you're able to rest yourself too!

 

[dreamer]

Thank you for your ideas and suggestions. They are good. I am still stunned, beyond angry that I must redirect the docs so many times. PCs boyfriend hit the nail on head with his analogy of it, they are on autopilot, and expecting to hear the same old, even tho we are presenting facts, they simply are not hearing them, walking around like zombies, on autopilot not hearing a word and not looking and not reading the chart, inserting and um hm here and there. boyfriend was quite frustrated several times when easy child got upset answering the exact same questions not to different people but to the same people over and over and over. He said "oh, now I get it, when I was new on my job, I was nervous and messed up and was afraid I would be fired, but now that I have been there a long time, I know I will not get fired, so I hardly even pay attention" Yeah, like that except YUOUR job is flipping burgers dude, thats a little different.

I am wondering just why has it all become like this, and this is far from our first experiences of things being this way. Nor are we the only ones where things go this way. And not just at docs office. It happens with police dept, in court, at school. At the docs office, there ARE shortstaffed, have been for several years, and the clinic has grown to such a huge size and has become so impersonal. When I had my son with this doctor, she still handled eeach patient herself. Now the patients must rotate between 4 docs. There is no continuity of care. easy child has not seen the same nurse or same doctor or even same people at desks at all yet, has not seen 1 person twice. And noone seems to READ charts and seldom appear to be listening or paying attention. Each is on autopilot and filing out their forms and papers without usually even hEARING your answers. Too many levels of reception, too many desks, too many phones, too many persons, doing everything peicemeal. One person weighs you..another takes your vital signs, yet another takes your complaint or presenting problem, another comes to "ready you for doctor" another comes to discuss docs orders, another is in charge of "patient education" - that is handing you a pile of papers with your diagnosis and treatment. Very often the order in which these things happens gets rather scrambled. Like when I got my diagnosis of diabetes etc....and they were chatising me for drinking while I have liver disease and diabetes.UM, what? I dont have diabetes or liver disease and I do not drink? And thats how I found out I had my newest health problems. and when I was in at doctor to get the labs done that brought me those diagnosis'es.the doctor spent half an hour acting bizarre and on one hand berating me for not coming more often yet at same time, complaining to me that he was not sure why I was there....
There is an entire large book full of docs at this clinic. this is The Medical care facility for my town and it is lso thruout my county and my general area.

Yesterday before I heard back from 2 farther away docs...I was trying to balance things in my head. I do this often, did it with my sons eye injury, did it with difficult children mental illness issues. and yes, ultimtately son landed in a major univ teaching hospital 5 hours away.... until criminal activity increased there so bad, and we got overloaded with survivor guilt amongst the other people at the Ronald McDonald House.
Moving to care farther away creates its own logistic problems in an emergency. While in my opinion a NORMAL preg does not really require any super special knowledge (hey this is just MY opinion, and noone has to agree with me) becuz a baby will grow and a mothers body will do what it needs to do etc (I said NORMAL preg) But in an emergency GETTING to the farther away facilities might not be possible, and then would be useless. Maybe worse than useless becuz then everything is in charts and records far away instead of where the crisis is being handled, so then it increases the risk of haveing this very same problem happening. Yes we are haveing that problem here now already, but ideally, in theory, this docs office and this hospital are related, connected and here local, accessible. (in theory)

LOL I know I spell HIPPPPAAA wrong, it is a word like MISSISSIPPI to me, if there is more than 1 of any letter or number, I lose track of how many there are and cannot get it right, EVER. LOL. so it can be HIPA or HIPPPPPAAAAAAA I apologize. My eyes cannot ever get it right and then my fingers also do not cooperate. HIPPPPA ACK!
Problem I have encounterd with HIPA is that it can be hard to find who is responsible for violations. We had several FERPA violations at difficult children school- same thing- it can be hard to find the enforcers.

Not sure if I SHOULD throw this in.......our hospital group? Part of the Rezko/Obama controversies?
AT risk of sounding like a fallback to 40s and 50s and Al Capone......my personal experience is that if you can grease the right palms, most laws will not apply.
I DO live in IL, Land of Gov Thompson. Drivers license scandals? (Ug I am hoping I got his name correct, yeesh)
Cook County has a strong influence on my county that is nearby.....Al Capone etc? LOL. Yes, bribes, payoffs etc all DO occur.
and our local population explosion - my towns population and my counties has doubled, tripled quadrupled in 20 years....we grow faster than the infratructure can keep up. ANd our society in general, people take less pride in their work daily, in general. Service in general, it is NOT even CLOSE to what it was say 20 years ago. There is no job security, but there are a lot of jobs noone really wants, and they have staff shortages.....malpractice insurance is very high in IL.....it drives specialists out of the state, a severe nurseing shortage which causes nurses to be so massively overworked it is unbelievable and quite dangerous to patients.....places will hire and keep bad nurses rather than have no nurses at all. Desk staff with crummy skills.....

Add in the local attitude of Medicaide and the explosion of preg teens......of which easy child is in both situations, she does have Medicaide secondary to her other insurance, which sadly is also gov issued and offers docs low payback for services in an extremely slow pattern or reimbursement.nevermind she got THAT insurance honorably enough.....dad is military service connected 100% permanant total disabled, and THATS how she got her primary insurance, providers still do not LIKE it. (It pays out nearly identical to Medicare except we do get no costs Rxs if/when we can do them thru the long time consuming mail by medications, takes 4-6 weeks to GET your Rx) She is also a TEEN. unmarried, JUST turned 18.......and the teens are a big media thing riht now with the preg issue.
The very firts thing ANY medical facility asks here is for your insurance card. NOTHING happens before that, NOTHING. SO, it all begins on the bias of oh, this is Medicaide. The 2nd thing, before anyone asks what your problem is is date of birth.ok....shes 18. THEN, you say the magic word PREGNANT, which as you know if you are pregnant is the first thing you say and then you say it to each person every step of the way over and over and over.....SO you have the uglies all there up front and it biases EVERYTHING from the start. Crummy insurance that does not want to pay out....a teen--who is preg. Teen. DRama queen? Careless? Stupid? Their eyes and ears close from the start. Oh, MOM is with? Is this an overebearing pushy mom? A mom who did not teach her child the facts of life better? A mom who thinks HER kid is an angel and perfect?
HOW or WHY easy child is preg is not an issue....whether she used BC or not is not an issue. Whether she had sex once or 10 times a day for the last 5 years is not an issue. The fact now is that she IS preg, and their minds make their opinions. She IS a preg teen and the judgements begin. I picked up an undercurrent from yesterdays doctor along the lines of "spoiled brat, didn;t anyone tell you to use birthcontrol - nevermind easy child got bc from this very same office.....dumb punk kid, do you seriously expect to feel great when preg, um, no she does not expect to feel great, but I also do not expect her to DIE. Then so many were speaking about easy child as if she were entirely uneducated, someone said something, and I cannot remember what.....but it implied they clearly had a stereotype in their mind about preg teens.....and their living situation and education and jobs etc. They were surprised to hear she DID have a job....also surprised to hear she plans to be at classes in fall....even tho the university is now likely no longer viable...university? they ask? Uh yeah, hello. why not? well, the preg was changeing some of the plans, sadly the complications are now further changeing them......but people, professionals, they CLEARLY had biases. Prejudgements. easy child is a pregnant PERSON. easy child is NOT a sterotype. NOBODY should be considered a stereotype, nobody should be prejudged.

Becuz easy child is SO ill, being ADMITTED to hospital has different policies than ER..so--- LOL nevermind the ADMISSIONS process never did happen....the DISCHARGE process DID, and the discharge person was perfectly aware admission process had not yet occured.....BUT she came, SHE was decent. She went thru her thing---do we have stairs, how many, is PCs sleeping quarters on same floor as bathroom facilities, who ishome to tend to needs etc. She commented favorably, Happy with PCs answers------"my sister and brother traded me bedrooms so I could be near bathroom, my mom cooks for me, helps me dress, my boyfriend is here, my bfs mom does this etc" Long term goals (yeah they ask) COllege in fall. work? yes....at grocery. how long there? is job in danger, almost 3 years at job, wow.
discharge planner, if she had biases did not let them show so much.or quickly seemed able to accept easy child. SHE did not go filling in blanks with what she ASSUMED the answers might be like I keep catching others doing.like I ALWAYS ctach others doing, at school, at docs etc....

well, sorry to ramble so. I better get active here and get a grip on things and decide what we are doing next. on catch up on what did onot get done while dealing with crisis at hand.

Thank you for letting me get it out.

 

[skeeter]

dreamer - I went through something similar with both my pregnancies. Phenergan suppositories worked during my first one, but with my second I wound up in the hospital for 5 days. I am very surprised that they sent easy child home after the IVs, but with all that has happened, it may be for the best.

If you haven't had experience with the Phenergan, she needs to use them the very second she wakes up in the morning. Plan on waking 15 minutes ahead of her usual schedule. It would be best if the suppository could be waiting for her in the bathroom instead of her having to go and get it out of the fridge. And do NOT wait until she's nauseous - use it as a preventative for at least the first 3 months of her pregnancy (or, as in my case, almost the entire 9 months!).

When she feels up to eating, some good choices are roasted chicken (no skin, white meat only) plain baked potato and one that I could almost always tolerate - angelfood cake. The goal, at first, is not to get her nutrition, but just to get something to stay in her stomach. Try very cold, or luke warm things - some people can tolerate one temperature better than another.
After that, one watch out is the prenatal vitamins. I had a terrible time with the high doses of iron in them - that would be enough to set me to throwing up again.

When I wound up in the hospital, I had kept nothing down, even an ice chip, for over 3 days. They hooked the IV up, then took a blood sample for sugar (I'm also gestational diabetic) and FREAKED when it showed so high. Ah - HELLO - I'm dehydrated, you are pumping glucose in me, and then taking a blood sample RIGHT NEXT TO THE IV!!! Take a darn blood sample AFTER I get some food in me and see what is shows (it was 100 - idiots).

I really feel for your daughter. I'd like to say it "gets better" but my experience didn't until after NL was born (I needed phenergan during delivery, too).

 

[butterflydreams]

dreamer - I am so sorry that you and easy child are going through all of this. You have received alot of good advice from others so I wanted to just send you a great big cyber hug and I certainly hope and pray that easy child will now get the help she disparately needs for herself and that precious unborn baby.

Christy

 

[Steely]

Hugs............
Seriously wish I had more advice.
I only know that I once that cycle gets going of throwing up, for some people, it is hard to stop. I am not one, but difficult child can get that way. I know what it means to see someone throw up if even a molecule of water gets in their throats. I cannot imagine having poor medical care on top of it. I would be as mad as you are. I have been as mad as you are.

I watched a documentary the other day on live footage of mother bears. Perhaps we on this board were all a mommy bear at one time in our life or another. They seem to embody what we all feel about our cubs. If only others could give us the same respect as they give grizzlys.

 

[Hound dog]

Dreamer

First thing you need to do if possible:

GET easy child A NEW OB/GYN!!!!! Yesterday. Call ever single one in the phone book, but get her to someone else!

Please. I love Travis with everything I have. Everyday I thank God above for the miracle that he is. BUT Travis is the way he is because a damn doctor refused to listen. He refused to listen to me, a trained nurse, he refused to listen to other OB's, hospital nurses ect.

easy child's morning sickness is becoming critical if it is affecting her heart and her kidneys. Not just critical for the baby, but for her as well.

She doesn't need an arrogant moron treating her, she needs a real OB that can and will spot what's going on and aggressively treat it.

I don't know who you report HIPPA violations to. (been awhile since I had that class) But I know they've violated the heck out of them. I'm on all Nichole's paperwork, and believe me, the ONE time the doctor's office didn't give me info when I asked they were majorly BLASTED for it.

Demand a copy of her medical records from this doctor and get her to someone else fast.

I am sooooo sorry she is going thru this. She must be scared out of her mind. (I know I would be) But she's not up to fighting for herself. YOU and boyfriend's MOM are gonna have to do it for her.

(((((hugs))))))

 

[Marguerite]

You may not be able to demand a copy of her medical records. But he MUSt send on a copy of the files to another OBGYN of your choice. A new OBGYN should also be able to request the hospital records.

There is also the possibility that after this scare, this current OBGYN will now believe you and pay attention.

When you talk to him, stay on topic. Take in notes you have made. Make a list of bullet points you want to discuss (or get easy child to do this).

If you'reconcerned they're being dismissive because she fits the stereotypes, then go in guns blazing. "OK doctor, I know she's a pregnant unmarried teen on Medicaid, I know I'm a terrible mother because I didn't prevent this pregnancy - now can we just consider the lecture given, and move on? We have problems with this PATIENT and she needs EXPERT help to keep her alive and healthy. Keeping the bay well would also be nice. Do you think we can put our past problems aside and now work as a team here? Do let me know if you still have difficulty with this - we will go elsewhere so we are no longer a problem for you, if you can't handle this."

It may work. Or it may not. Frankly, all you have to lose, is this OBGYN. And if this isn't going to work, then I suspect neither is he.

Marg

 

[Hound dog]

dreamer

This message is from easy child the RN.

Have your easy child take the zophran (sp?) and the phenogren (sp?) by placing it under her tongue and letting them dissolve. The zophran is made so it can be taken that way. And while the phenogren isn't, it won't hurt anything for her to take it that way.

Hopefully this will be enough to help.

If not, easy child said that what they call a picture line (like an IV) can be put in and they can train you and or easy child on how to give her the medications via injection into it. (sounds harder than it is) Or they can place what they call a zophran pump under her skin that keeps a steady flow of medication going and releaves the nausea and vomiting.

Makes notes of this and ask about it.

((hugs))

 

[dreamer]

OK um...trying to find a way to say whats going thru my head, amidst all the swirling?

Um.....lets see, first yeah, I am familiar with picture lines, and had told PCs boyfriend a few days ago that would be the next step, I was sure. um..yes, easy child also HAS standard form pills of zofran PLUS dissolving form, too. and now has phenergan pills AND henergan suppositories....PLUS prevacid AND pepcid. all on board, all going into use every 3-4 hours, every 3-4 hours SOMETHING is used, per a schedule. TODAY it seems to be finally working! YAY! Prior to now, she still got 1 new medication of these dded in for each ER visit. ANd yes, she has been devotedly sipping all along the way, ginger ale (which sha hates) tried both regular and flat and lukewarm....coke, same thing, both carbonated and flat...also both have been made into popsickles for her to try THAT way....jello- as jello and as liquid....chicken broth, saltines, ginger snaps..pretzels, plain baked potatos, plain boiled mashed plain. Baby food fruit, bananas, peaches and pears....(seperately) plain rice, plain rice krispies dry, plain baby rice cereal, watermelon, .......not one single thing has styed down more than 30 seconds for 3 weeks. and often even in wee hours of nite, she wakes to vomit, and vomits even if there was nothing going in to vomit....vomits bile.

Parenteral feeding is NOT 100% sound nutrition, long term it does have defieciencies that can be problematic....but I knew useing a picture or central line was coming up to be used. I am a nurse, too, altho I have not worked in several years, and never worked in hospital, only nurseing home. and never for young persons, mostly only geriatrics, Alzheimers and Hospice mostly.


Yes, after this Dr K person ranted in my face and said flat out no, there was nothing at all about ER at all in PCs cahrts, she opened the chart and THERE IT WAS......in the chart. Now first off Dr Z DID send us to ER for first rehydration....so, THAT should have been in the notes dr z wrote re our last office visit. SO dr k has been very very wrong, either blatantly negligent Occupational Therapist (OT) just a huge liar or whatever about so many things now. Now that the immediate cisis is over, no, easy child said today she is NOT going there if she ever has to see dr K again at all for anything. She is not sure yet about dr y.we have not met dr y..only easy child spoke to dr y on phone. and there is still one more in the practice we are supposed to have to see, but.....I do not know. now easy child says if it is not going to be ONLY dr z, she is NOT going and she said even if no other docs will take her, she could not have worse prenatal care even if she has none. Ironic on one hand becuz easy child dragged all her preg friends to their docs appts, demanded her friends all get in ASAP instead of waiting around hemming and hawing afraid of their mothers reactions to their pregnancies. and so far our first 2 top choices declined to accept us.
Yes, I have much personal experience with docs who are not ....um...decent responsible persons etc. My son has one eye gone becuz of it. My friends child is dead becuz of a very very similar scenario.....he was 6. Yes my sons CP and heterotopia was undx'ed until he was almost 9 yrs old becuz I was patted on the head and told I was looking for problems where there weren;t any.

PCs boyfriends mom is not onboard....PCs boyfriends dads new girlfriend (easy child boyfriend parents are recently divorced) used to work with me. She has not yet been on board, BUT I am calling her and bringing her onboard. She is far more confrontational than I am, far more "in your face" I am polite and gentle and try to be assertive, but....the situation is calling for bigger guns than I personally have been blessed with.

Yes, I understand her heart and kidneys are in danger, dehydration is a high leading cause of death. I even aid to dr k when I was in office that hey, hello, she had to have ekg cuz yes, we were not being hysetrical, she had cardiac symptoms in er. and now dr k we have kidney symptoms. Check her ketones check her blood pressure, I alredy have. and in a week she has lost 20% of her body weight.
Dr z has never been anything but wonderful, never critical, never judgemental, always on top of things. I had 14 miscarriages, and had to have injections daily with my son and she was my dr, she was fresh out of school then. easy child and difficult child adore dr z. I heard today at store that dr y.who we have not yet met? is especially mean to younger mothers....I am NOT in any hurry to MEET dr y. neither is easy child. and dr z, everyone says she is an awesome wonderful dr.
BUT I just am sick of this entire facility. the docs offices/clinic and the other facility, the hospital. they are 2 different corporations, but, I hate both. Yes, I am continueing to try to find a different dr.
BUT we are nervous becuz any others will be quite far traveling.and in case of emergency it could be a problem.
I think I posted more about ti all on a thread I posted earlier today about the storms here? LOL- yes, I am so overloaded, I am even more disorganized in writing than my usual disorganization.

I just now caught myself up to date on simple routine daily chores. <sigh>
easy child is doing really good tonite, ate some dry cereal, kept it down, drank 32 oz gatorade! Kept it down, too! I have some turkey plain for her for tomorrow.....she said chicken is a stronger smell than turkey.

 

[Abbey]

Everyone has given you excellent advice in a very difficult and frustrating situation.

All I can add (other than prayers) is that you MUST document and let doctor/hospital know that. The last thing they want is a lawsuit. Shoot...I watch ever day when a cart hits a car. They all run like ants. They do NOT want to be sued.

Abbey

 

[dreamer]

uh, this hospital has been sued so many times it is not funny, and a couple times by people I know personally. They are not ever very worried about it. and most of the time the people sueing do not win.....IL has some "different" rules re medical lawsuits.....and re medical malpractice etc.....
Nah, they are not worried at all.

 

[dreamer]

hey this thread
http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?p=173844
kinda goes good together with my thread here.

 

[Hound dog]

Oh, I am much releaved she has been able to keep something down finally. Keeping fingers crossed, and praying hard she continues to do better. Glad they seem to have her covered medication wise now, too.

I was born and raised in Illinois. Medical malpractice laws aren't the only weird ones on the books. ugh

Makes me madder still for you and easy child that doctor refused to listen when they knew you had the training to back up what you were saying. (not to mention experience as a parent/woman)

You have got to be utterly exhausted all the way around. And easy child, well, I don't blame her for the way she feels about the doctor now. Poor kid. It's awful her first pregnancy has gotten such a rough start.

Both of you take time to sit down, feet up, and take a breather when you can.

(((((hugs))))) for both you and easy child.

 

[witzend]

I'm glad to hear that she is feeling a little better, the poor thing! Honestly, hon, if that had been me with Dr. K? I would have asked for a small sip of water for easy child and shown her what happened. All over her smock!

I would recommend that you have easy child sign several generic release forms that you can keep with you should any question of your authority to speak on her behalf come up again.

Here's a link to one that pertains to Walgreens releasing information, but you could type one up just like it and insert "any medical facility or practitioner treating me, easy child" in place of "Walgreens".

http://www.walgreenshealth.com/common/pdf/AuthorizationPatientFormSpecialty.pdf

Good luck to everyone, and don't forget to eat! You need your strength.

 

[KTMom91]

So sorry you're having to go through all this.

Great news that easy child was able to keep down the cereal and Gatorade! Hope the positives continue!

Sending hugs and prayers to all.