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General Parenting
Bi Polar in an 8 year old?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 655020" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm going to take issue with nobody ever wins. My son's ex is a horrible woman who ran off with another man while married. If she did not have the court orders that make her behave halfway human, her and my son would be fighting all the time as she would try to make him HER child only. She can't do that now nor can he. They both have to respect each other's time and there are behavioral rules. Nobody asked my grandson who he wanted to live with and a court doesn't do that either. It's not up to a minor child.</p><p></p><p>Without a court order, with one of the parents in charge of medical issues or joint medical custody and legal custody, the parents will be fighting much more than if they got it written up in court.</p><p></p><p>The psychiatrist would have to go to court to force the kids to get out of t heir household and his word may not prevail.</p><p></p><p>Doing anything without a court order can't be enforced and your grandson may end up in worse chaos, being tugged in both directions, than if the adults were forced to legally behave. My grandson has a lot of stability. He knows where he will be on which days and that his parents will not contact one another and fight. The two still don't like each other, but they have to abide by the court orders so that the little guy doesn't see or hear fighting. My son doesn't even speak to his wife. The court has them communicating on a site called The Wizard that the court can see if it has to. It's like e-mailing.</p><p></p><p>Trying to do it yourself in a divorce is hard. It's hard enough for the kids. in my opinion it's better for rules to be set up and decisions to be made that give each side a voice. Your grandson may be yanked right back to dad and since there is no court order giving your daughter custody, he can legally do it. You can't kidnap your own child if there is no court order. Your daughter would then have to start the custody procedure or she could not force ex to bring the boy back.</p><p></p><p>My grand is doing really well, considering what he has been through (although he doesn't know his mother ran off with his new stepfather when he was only four). My son does plan on telling him, but not until he is at least in his teens. My grandson screams bloody murder during exchanges with Mom saying, "I want to stay with Daddy!!!" So it's good that she can't run off with him. </p><p></p><p>My son and his child won in court. She wanted to run off to Texas with her new honey and make a new family that did not include my son as grandson's father and she could have done it without a court order. My son has his son 50% of the time, which she can't stop and the boy is not going to be jerked around from home to home or state to state. It really is better to do it legally.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully ex will continue not to want the boy in his house, but if he does go to court, your daughter will have to get a lawyer because going without one is a loss. I hope things work out.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, whatever you decide!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 655020, member: 1550"] I'm going to take issue with nobody ever wins. My son's ex is a horrible woman who ran off with another man while married. If she did not have the court orders that make her behave halfway human, her and my son would be fighting all the time as she would try to make him HER child only. She can't do that now nor can he. They both have to respect each other's time and there are behavioral rules. Nobody asked my grandson who he wanted to live with and a court doesn't do that either. It's not up to a minor child. Without a court order, with one of the parents in charge of medical issues or joint medical custody and legal custody, the parents will be fighting much more than if they got it written up in court. The psychiatrist would have to go to court to force the kids to get out of t heir household and his word may not prevail. Doing anything without a court order can't be enforced and your grandson may end up in worse chaos, being tugged in both directions, than if the adults were forced to legally behave. My grandson has a lot of stability. He knows where he will be on which days and that his parents will not contact one another and fight. The two still don't like each other, but they have to abide by the court orders so that the little guy doesn't see or hear fighting. My son doesn't even speak to his wife. The court has them communicating on a site called The Wizard that the court can see if it has to. It's like e-mailing. Trying to do it yourself in a divorce is hard. It's hard enough for the kids. in my opinion it's better for rules to be set up and decisions to be made that give each side a voice. Your grandson may be yanked right back to dad and since there is no court order giving your daughter custody, he can legally do it. You can't kidnap your own child if there is no court order. Your daughter would then have to start the custody procedure or she could not force ex to bring the boy back. My grand is doing really well, considering what he has been through (although he doesn't know his mother ran off with his new stepfather when he was only four). My son does plan on telling him, but not until he is at least in his teens. My grandson screams bloody murder during exchanges with Mom saying, "I want to stay with Daddy!!!" So it's good that she can't run off with him. My son and his child won in court. She wanted to run off to Texas with her new honey and make a new family that did not include my son as grandson's father and she could have done it without a court order. My son has his son 50% of the time, which she can't stop and the boy is not going to be jerked around from home to home or state to state. It really is better to do it legally. Hopefully ex will continue not to want the boy in his house, but if he does go to court, your daughter will have to get a lawyer because going without one is a loss. I hope things work out. Good luck, whatever you decide! [/QUOTE]
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