Big Meeting Tomorrow---Anyone know anything about getting $ support in Texas?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kwioake, Feb 12, 2012.

  1. kwioake

    kwioake New Member

    I posted a month or more ago about my daughter. She is adopted from India. She is currently 15 years old, and we adopted her when she was almost 8. She has had lots of issues, has been on medications and in Special Education under the label of Severely Emotionally Disturbed for five years. In December, we found out that she was molesting the next door neighbor girl who is 8 years old. We called CPS but the law was never contacted (as far as we know). We quickly got her into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that our insurance has paid for (minus the $6000 out of pocket copay) but insurance will not cover forever.

    In treatment, they have done a lot of testing. They have found out that she is having partial complex seizures in both the limbic regions as well as frontal lobe of her brain. They upped her Depakote significantly as well as added amantadine just recently. She is basically having many of the same issues in treatment as she does at home (lack of respect for boundaries, seeking attention at all costs, purposely wetting the bed, extreme impulsivity) which has been somewhat confirming for us.

    We just found out this past week that her most recent IQ testing came out as a 68. In the past she has been in the low 70's. Both the doctor and therapist were thrilled because they seemed to think that this would qualify her for more services. The current Residential Treatment Center (RTC) thinks she needs to be in long term treatment. She doesn't really understand why what she did was wrong, has not shown any real remorse nor any ability to really process what she has done. She can parrot back what others have told her, but she is not able to process things on her own. Both the therapist and doctor have said that they have been frustrated by her inability to really benefit from therapy and that the 68 IQ does seem to explain some things. She is very good at faking things, learns the lingo but isn't really generating her own thoughts. She talks all the time about starting over but on a daily basis, is not making good choices. Texas they have something called a CRCG (Community Resource Connection Group). It is an interagency group that is supposed to offer resources and financial support for difficult children. There will be reps. from MHMR, Juvenile Justice, CPS...there..We are on the docket for tomorrow. My husband has spoken to the chairperson three times already. The feeling he gets is that they push keeping kids in the community and that they are questioning the 68 IQ (asking for other documentation). We have a paper trail that shows all of our attempts over the last seven and a half years to get her community based support that have failed. We feel like what she needs is 24/7 supervision (including during the night since she has been known to get up and do things after we go to sleep). We have a 13 year old in the house and even though she has not hurt him, we plan to bring that possible danger up.

    At this point, she is especially still very hostile towards me, not only not accepting correction from me but not interested in doing anything together. We just don't see how bringing her home will meet anyone's needs. Any advice for what to stress/not stress at the meeting? We have compiled a list of several facilities that we think would meet her needs. We don't really have any further resources to contribute. We have an older son who is graduating high school and want to send him to college. Any suggestions, wisdom???
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    So weird, I was just looking for your original post to try to see if you had an update! Thanks for checking in, I've been thinking of you and wishing you answers.

    While there are many issues and this may be a tiny speck.... just thought i'd bring it up...

    Re the bedwetting... just a thought, but maybe you have checked already... (I know there are correlations to bedwetting and sexual abuse but was just also thinking....) has she had an overnight eeg so they know she is not wetting during a seizure?

    My son also has seizures that hit the limbic areas... I am sure her memory as well as emotions are really impacted by this as well as the impulse control issues with frontal lobe involvement. Poor thing. What a mess to have all of this on top of her early childhood history.

    Obviously there are many other issues, so just thought it might be worth asking them about, though you seem to cover so much it is probably not the first time it is crossing your mind.

    With the IQ tests, if she tested in the low 70's and is now testing 68, what is the big deal? Are they latching on to those few points under 70? Surely they have also done adaptive behavior scales that will show how low she is functioning... those scores can sometimes do more for a child than the full scale IQ scores, especially with her being so "borderline" . Good thing you have the paper trail. Not like a number that close can really for sure equate to a level of functioning in real life. there is a standard deviation from the score that gives a range that shows where her true ability score falls.....and all of her scores have ranges likely to overlap so if they fuss about that, show the scores in terms of the ranges rather than the composite/full scale score. (if you have any way to do that at this kind of a meeting)

    I think you are right, she needs residential living... not just treatment but likely a life long kind of plan which can be a group home at some point as long as there is night supervision.

    If they push and force the home issue insist on home support, including overnight behavioral aide to sit by her room.... I hope you dont have to go there but wow, what a huge liablity they have on them if they put an known abuser in your home with a 13 yr old and kids in the neighborhood etc....(as you said, no need to talk about if there have been issues with your son yet...)

    My heart breaks for your daughter, she clearly has some serious developmental issues, health issues and her social history is so full of risk factors for not being able to relate to others even if she did not have the other conditions. This is not just about the safety of others, it is about protecting her from herself.... she has shown them (from what you say) exactly what you felt.... that she is actually unable to learn and maintain.... she would end up on placement where she would be so unable to handle the social landscape if she got put thru straight Department of Juvenile Justice I would think.

    I hope there are people there advocating for your point of view. I am glad your husband has had some idea of what they are thinking so you are not blind-sided.

    Will be wishing, hoping, praying for you and your family.... sending supportive hugs, Dee
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I would sincerely push the "other child at home" button so to speak. You don't want him witnessing the behaviors, you aren't willing to risk his safety, etc. as well as the "I can't stay awake 24 hours a day to keep an eye on her. I just can't do that!" Tell them that the only way YOU think she can have any kind of real life is with proper supervision and treatment that you just can't give her. Whatever card you have to play, play it all of them. SHE is not the center of the universe and you shouldn't have to arrange your entire family's life around her.

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} and good luck!!
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Focus on the "danger to others" aspect. This is the difficult child who sexually abused neighbors, right? So for this meeting I would stress the need for 24/7 care because she does dangerous things at night, danger to the 13yo in the house. Even if he is not her preferred victim, he is still in danger from her. Focus on how the children that she abused will be hurt simply by knowing she is at home, and will be even more hurt by seeing her in public or at school.

    Focus on the GAF score (global assessment of functioning) which the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) should have or should be able to give you quite easily. Here is a description of GAF:

    Stress if you and husband are scared that she will hurt YOU when she comes home. Her hostility, etc... toward you may make you a target if seh can't get to another target. Or if she is angry enough.

    If NOTHING else, think about possibly telling them that you might have to disrupt the adoption/surrender custody to the state because you just cannot have her at home because it isn't safe. It won't be easy if you end up needing to do this. They may threaten all sorts of things to make you back down, but you have to insist that she MUST be placed somewhere because NO ONE is safe if she is home. Stress that she doesn't see ANYTHING wrong with anything she did, so she WILL 100% or more do those things again, and you cannot risk that she will perpetrate on another child again or be violent with someone in the home - esp your other children.

    I hope they help and you are able to get the placement that she needs.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    How did the meeting go??? Hope you are all ok....
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Although this is not my area of expertise I remember your previous post and am sending supportive and caring thoughts your way. I'm eager to hear the update and hoping that it is in her best interests as well as the best interests of your family and community. Hugs DDD
  7. kwioake

    kwioake New Member

    Thank you so much for all your support. I wish we could bring one of you to these meetings. Well, my husband left the meeting feeling somewhat positive. He was given a contact person at MHMR and told that MHMR would require further testing but that they do have resources. Then, he talked to the contact person. That person said (I would think I was making this up if it wasn't happening to me) that there is a....TEN YEAR WAITING LIST for services.. My husband has an appointment next week to do the paperwork to get the ball rolling...The respite services is a once a month outing. We had hired a lawyer who was supposed to be talking to the prosecutor...My husband initially got with her weeks ago. At first, she was waiting the official diagnosis but its been at least a week and we've heard nothing. There was a representative at this meeting from Child Protective Services. When we called to report her, we were given a case number but the representative said that she is not even in their computer. My husband feels so deflated...I think we need some kind of advocate but don't even know how to go about finding someone. We are going Friday to visit my daughter (only the second time in five weeks) and it is a five hours drive each way. I am planning on making a lot of phone calls (can't ever make calls during the day with my job)....Thank again everyone for your supportive words and thoughts.
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    See if there is a Disability Lawyer in your area. Not one that fights for disability payments or social security but one that fights for the rights of a disabled person. I would call where you made the report and ask them what is going on with case number *******. If it truly isn't in the system, ask them why and question up the ladder until you get an answer. Definitely make phone calls. She needs to be in a 24 hour supervision setting. Don't settle for anything else.