I think I made a huge one the other day. I've kept that we've been in contact with K from mother in law. I wanted to be certain of K's motives before saying anything. Figured mother in law doesn't need drama at the age of 94. So since we've pretty much established that K's motives are pure.......... I told mother in law. Since she has asked periodically over the years if we'd heard from K, I figured she'd like to know that we had and would be hurt to be out of the loop if she heard the kids or grands discussing K and family. I have to say I'm still reeling from her reaction. I don't doubt K's leaving hurt her too. But I certainly didn't expect the reaction I got. It was (except for the cursing and loud stomping) exactly like husband's. And in a way worse because that reaction didn't change once she pinned me down on the reason behind contact (she has a fantastic Momma look when she puts her mind to it) and I told her about K's diagnosis and explained it. I've always though of mother in law as one of the most loving/giving/caring people I've ever met. Yet once the fact that K was contacted and the diagnosis was known all she dwelled on was money and what K wanted. Even after I explained that in all this time K has asked for nothing except for us to be a family again. I felt bad when I left because the last thing I'd wanted to do was upset her. I thought she'd like to know that K is ok, Kayla and Alex are alright........ But no, not really. And she kept checking to be certain the 2 carat diamond ring once intended for K was still on my finger. So I let it go thinking how it took us awhile to get used to it all. She called me last night still all upset. Again she went on about the money, how she couldn't give K any........Then told me she didn't want anyone to give K her address or phone number. It hurt for me to say it, but I told her I'd make sure the family stood by her wishes. Although all K has to do is call information for both as mother in law is listed. Now for some clarification. mother in law has only given K money once. That was the bus ticket for her and Kayla to come to live with us. And that bus ticket wasn't even 200.00. Plus husband and I paid her back. So I don't even understand this whole money issue. And I know K never went to her for money because K wouldn't visit mother in law without me. (my kids all have a thing about that) And mother in law would've told me about it at any rate. And this I guess galls me because I know mother in law has handed over thousands of dollars to brother in law's kids for various reasons to get them out of trouble over the years. Money that has never been paid back. And has never had to do so for our kids. (we wouldn't even think of asking) I didn't comment about the ring, or the china that was supposed to go to K from mother in law. K was written out of the will. Obviously mother in law has no intention of changing it. Someday when Kayla is grown, the ring sitting on my finger may be passed on to her along with the china once intended for her mother. I haven't ever told K what her inheritance would have been or that there even was any. I'd decided to keep that subject closed with K as 1. her condition is terminal anyway and 2. their financial position is precarious at best and her husband has a tendency to take valuables to pawn shops. (I'm not stupid) These are family heirlooms that are meant to be passed down thru the generations. The ring on my finger belonged to mother in law's great grandmother. Sigh. Makes me sad. Has me confused. And it hurts my Mommy heart although I'm not quite sure why. Definately has changed my view on mother in law a bit. Although I still adore her. husband has done a turn around. Most likely only because I ripped him a new one. You don't get to ask me info on K and the kids but then refuse to have anything to do with her when you also refuse to even listen to the facts. Yep. My attack was swift and vicious and I didn't even raise my voice. Does he actually care, or is he pretending to keep peace with me? Most likely the latter. But if it makes K feel better to believe her father forgives her for something that wasn't really her fault, except for really bad communication........then that's fine with me. I can live with it. I just don't get husband and mother in law.