I posted earlier this year about easy child 1's bio dad suddenly appearing after 22 years absence. My mom says he only "came out" because my dad is gone. He has continued to lead easy child 1 to beleive that his absence was because he didn't know about easy child 1. As easy child 1 is building relationships with other members of the family (bio dad's siblings, parents, etc - some of which seem to be very nice people), he's learning, even from them, that many of them knew, and bio dad demanded that no one pursue it. He's (rightfully) angry. easy child 1 has half-siblings that are not very impressed with his sudden intrusion into their world. Bio dad's wife isn't, either. easy child 1 has been open with the siblings (who are young adults) but they refuse to respond to him. He asked bio dad what was going, and bio dad refuses to "get in the middle of it" between easy child 1 and the siblings, which I think is a total copout. We spent the weekend very near where bio dad lives. easy child had planned to spend an hour or 2 with him. Anytime easy child 1 texted him, he was too busy, or it wasn't a good time. easy child 1 said he wasn't conversational with him at all, and all of his answers were just one word responses. He felt very dissed. He emailed bio-dad's sister about it, and she blames his behavior on his wife and children. Not sure she's real impressed with the way bio dad has handled it, either. I haven't been angry at this man for about 18 years, but I find myself fighting the mama bear syndrome at the moment. He dragged easy child 1 into this, by God, I think he owes easy child 1 some help guiding his way thru it, not to abandon him again because its upsetting "his family". I think my mom was right...if my dad was still here, he would have never "come out", and maybe that would have been better. And the man still hasn't so much as spoken my name... The last thing easy child 1 needs is someone else in his life with more issues. He struggles with depression, anyway. But he's got it. He does have a good head on his shoulders, tho. He has decided he will just drop it with bio dad. He wont tell him when he's in the area, and he wont suggest a visit. He'll keep up with the others, who have welcomed him, which I think is great. At least he gained something positive from this koi.