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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726600" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>One thing you can do for yourself is not to ever hold an event at daughter's house. Yes, I know SHE probably insisted, but you have the final say in your life. </p><p></p><p>As for your daughter, you can certainly fret over her. It is your choice. What you can't do is change her. She is what she is....neither a good housekeeper nor with a man you would choose for her. You can continue to not like it. That is your right. But don't waste too much time. You can't control another person. </p><p></p><p>My older daughter is with a man I would not have chosen for her. But I love my daughter and granddaughter so I treat him with love and never e press my feelings to my kid. I do feel it is not my business. She is 34 and allowed to make her own decisions. He is the father of my beloved grandchild.</p><p></p><p>Maybe your daughters boyfriend had Asperger's or some neurological glitch that makes him socially awkward. He must have something that your daughter likes and that is all that really counts.</p><p></p><p>I hope next time you choose to have affairs elsewhere. I still think your daughter sounds more borderline than bipolar. But that really won't change anything either way. She is who and what she is and you have no choice but to deal with her as she is if you want any sort of relationship with her.</p><p></p><p>A college education, even a PhD, doesn't mean good emotional intelligence. It has been proven that people with good emotional intelligence have better lives than those with high academic intelligence. Look up emotional intelligence. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you still suffer because of daughter. I hope you can learn to gently let go so that both of you can live good lives without interference from intense emotions.</p><p></p><p>Peace!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726600, member: 1550"] One thing you can do for yourself is not to ever hold an event at daughter's house. Yes, I know SHE probably insisted, but you have the final say in your life. As for your daughter, you can certainly fret over her. It is your choice. What you can't do is change her. She is what she is....neither a good housekeeper nor with a man you would choose for her. You can continue to not like it. That is your right. But don't waste too much time. You can't control another person. My older daughter is with a man I would not have chosen for her. But I love my daughter and granddaughter so I treat him with love and never e press my feelings to my kid. I do feel it is not my business. She is 34 and allowed to make her own decisions. He is the father of my beloved grandchild. Maybe your daughters boyfriend had Asperger's or some neurological glitch that makes him socially awkward. He must have something that your daughter likes and that is all that really counts. I hope next time you choose to have affairs elsewhere. I still think your daughter sounds more borderline than bipolar. But that really won't change anything either way. She is who and what she is and you have no choice but to deal with her as she is if you want any sort of relationship with her. A college education, even a PhD, doesn't mean good emotional intelligence. It has been proven that people with good emotional intelligence have better lives than those with high academic intelligence. Look up emotional intelligence. I am sorry you still suffer because of daughter. I hope you can learn to gently let go so that both of you can live good lives without interference from intense emotions. Peace!! [/QUOTE]
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