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Birthdays and Holidays
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 720343" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Like the others, I'm a bit confused. I figure you mean one of two scenarios.</p><p></p><p>1) They ignore you but expect to be doted on and given money or gifts on their birthdays and Xmas. Or,</p><p>2) They ignore you including birthdays and Xmas.</p><p></p><p>#2 is easier - let them. If you want to continue to show you care, issue an invite to dinner - maybe dinner out so you don't have to put yourself out much - and give them a gift card in a birthday card or Xmas card. (Or just buy them dinner and let that be their gift - after all, why does a grown-up need a birthday or Xmas present? Do they give them to you?) If they don't accept a dinner invite, then just mail them the card with a note expressing love and let it go. </p><p></p><p>I'm assuming that there is no large family gathering for Xmas. If there is, invite them, but if they don't show that's on them. Mail them the card and be done.</p><p></p><p>As for #1...really it's the same thing, only they expect the invite.</p><p></p><p>My own son is now two states away. I text him once in a while, "Hi! Are you alive? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> " Or..."Happy Columbus Day." etc. I don't inquire into how his life is much other than "How are you doing? Hope all is well. Was thinking of you. Love you!" and things like that. I sent him some Xmas money and birthday money, but he was homeless - more or less. I'll likely do it again this Xmas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 720343, member: 17309"] Like the others, I'm a bit confused. I figure you mean one of two scenarios. 1) They ignore you but expect to be doted on and given money or gifts on their birthdays and Xmas. Or, 2) They ignore you including birthdays and Xmas. #2 is easier - let them. If you want to continue to show you care, issue an invite to dinner - maybe dinner out so you don't have to put yourself out much - and give them a gift card in a birthday card or Xmas card. (Or just buy them dinner and let that be their gift - after all, why does a grown-up need a birthday or Xmas present? Do they give them to you?) If they don't accept a dinner invite, then just mail them the card with a note expressing love and let it go. I'm assuming that there is no large family gathering for Xmas. If there is, invite them, but if they don't show that's on them. Mail them the card and be done. As for #1...really it's the same thing, only they expect the invite. My own son is now two states away. I text him once in a while, "Hi! Are you alive? :) " Or..."Happy Columbus Day." etc. I don't inquire into how his life is much other than "How are you doing? Hope all is well. Was thinking of you. Love you!" and things like that. I sent him some Xmas money and birthday money, but he was homeless - more or less. I'll likely do it again this Xmas. [/QUOTE]
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