Blah Bleck Blah

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, Jun 4, 2008.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm having a major pity party right now. And for no good reason, either, other than I can I guess.

    There isn't a part of me that doesn't hurt. And do you know what I did today to cause that? I vacuumed the living room and hall, I loaded the dishwasher, I picked up the clutter on the kitchen table and I wiped down the counters. That's it. Can hardly stand. Can't lift anything with my right arm. Even typing is hard.

    Got an envelope in the mail from my new rheumy which was just information on hip bursitis that he forgot to give me while I was there. That was nice of him, wasn't it? Except that I'm reading it and it says that without treatment it can last for months. Well, I've had it for YEARS. And it says to rest the hip. If I rest it anymore, I'd have to be in a coma. Ice and heat. Been there, done that. Steroid injection. Did that, too.

    From him touching my shoulder last Thursday, it's been all flared up. And it wasn't bad at all until then. It was feeling better for 2 days so I vacuumed. Big mistake. Shooting pain all the way down my arm. Then walking outside and my left heel just starts hurting so bad that my son had to help me in the house. Great. So tendonitis, there too now??? Let's see...both hips, plus the bone just above the hiney, right shoulder, right knee, funky muscle thing in my right arm, right ankle, right hand and now left ankle.

    And all the sleeping I was doing? The 12-16 hours a day. Well, that's stopped which is a good thing because that was miserable. Except that now I'm getting about 5 hours a night tops. And it's interrupted.

    Every time I go to the doctor there's another pound or two that wasn't there before. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I never ever used to have a weight issue. At least not this way. I couldn't keep weight ON. And my acne is worse than it's ever been. Not on my face, though. Neck, arms, back. Areas where it's just really gross to see it. None of the treatments - even the prescription - are doing a thing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I don't even want to go out in public.

    easy child is leaving this weekend to go to his dad's and I really don't want him to go. I never want him to go, but this time he really doesn't want to go either and it just makes it that much harder. I miss him terribly when he's not here. I worry about how much cr@p he's putting up with from his dad and how miserable he is. Last summer he was im'ing me everyday and was so upset the whole time. My mom asked me what I was going to do if he moves out in a year. Asked her if she lost her mind; he's not moving out. :sheepish:

    I think I really need a good cry. But I can't. Guess I can thank the lexapro for that.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Heather, I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. Does anyone else in your family have a history of this? It would be really helpful if you could talk to someone who has been through this and you're sure that it's the same thing that is going on with you. All I can advise is that
    you have to let some of those things go. The only way to know for sure is to do one thing, then take a break and see if in 15 - 20 minutes you're up to doing another. You can't do it all at once.

    I hope that easy child will be ok at his dad's house. It may be time for you to help him to talk to his dad about what he wants from time spent together. He's a bit old for extended visits. He has his own life and friends at home. There aren't many kids his age that will tolerate regularly scheduled visits or extended with a non-custodial parent. Your ex needs to know that your son is not a little boy anymore, and it's time for them to find their own relationship, not the one that the courts set up for them all those years ago.

    {{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}

    And take it easy on yourself!
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Heather...I'm so sorry you're hurting. Sending many gentle hugs.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm praying that some relief comes your way quickly.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sounds like you didn't pace yourself! I know that when I feel good for a day I tend to get as much done as I can for those days I'm trashed. by the way, that's not a good way to do it. I'm learning, however painfully, to take on one task a day if I'm up to it. The vacuuming will be there tomorrow as will other chores.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so sad about easy child heading out to his dad's. I agree with witz on the scheduled visits for him. I also agree that easy child & his dad are going to have to work this out on their own.

    (((hugs))) & rattling beads for a better day today.
  6. tryinghard

    tryinghard New Member

    I have been there done that! I overwork myself and pay for it for days!

    Here's to hoping for a much better day for you!
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{Heather}} Sending hugs and pain relieving vibes, Heather. I'm so sorry you're in such pain; I hope you feel at least a little better soon.

    I also agree that your ds is getting to be at an age where he can have more say in his visits with dear old dad. By the time my girls were 16+ they started having more frequent visits, though for shorter periods. They had lives to get home to!
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I hear you.........I have been down for 2 days with a kidney stone.......and depression has set in........not to mention my personal pity party that does the conga about every 3 minutes.

    Being sick is the worst - I am so sorry your continues to drag on and on. I wish I had answers.
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Thank you for all the hugs.

    Witz - No one in my family has anything resembling any of this. My mom always asks, "Who ****** in your gene pool?" If I didn't look so much like her, I'd swear I was adopted.

    Linda - Yeah, I overdid it. But, with 4 cats and a dog shedding, the house really needed vacuumed. And Wynter's tutor was coming over last night and they work at the kitchen table. I really wanted the kitchen clean. I didn't touch the bathrooms (they so need it) or folding laundry (about 3 baskets worth) or changing the bedding or dusting or any of the other stuff. I just wanted the house to be presentable.

    As far as easy child....he knows and I know that he has to start laying some boundaries. It's hard for him, but he's working on it. He's never felt unconditional love from his dad so while he can tell me things and know that I will still love him and be there for him, he doesn't have that security with his dad. He still has hope for his relationship with his dad, but he's more and more frustrated with his dad and that family's behavior towards him. To top it off, they're going on a cruise when he gets there. Nice family thing, right? Except it's soooo not easy child's thing. He told his dad last fall that he didn't want to go; that he'd rather stay home. His dad made some comment about why would he want to stay home, there wouldn't be anyone there. easy child told him that 'that' wasn't him home. This is. Told him repeatedly he didn't want to go. His dad bought the ticket and got his passport anyway.

    There's nothing wrong with family vacation and doing things together as a family. Except that they don't normally do family vacations with easy child. That's really bothered him. And now the one time they are forcing him to go, it's something that's just not his thing. And if he doesn't conform the way they think he should or the way they want him to, they give him all kinds of cr@p. Like a couple of years ago they asked him before he went down if he wanted them to get him a season pass to Six Flags. He said no, he doesn't like those kinds of rides. (He's not a thrill seeker at all.) They got him one anyway, made him go then spent the entire day calling him a party-pooper and giving him all kinds of grief when he didn't ride the roller coasters. They have never accepted him for who he is.

    Don't get me wrong...I think it's good to step outside your comfort zone. Except that his dad and step-mom won't give him any peace about it. If he were going with someone who truly had his best interests at heart instead of their own selfish interests (like his dad), I wouldn't be worried at all.