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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 16384" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>I totally understand where you are coming from!!! Both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 blame me for everything negative that happens to them!!! I handle this similar to the way Linda does. </p><p></p><p>I will not get into an argument with either one of them. Arguing with a difficult child does not serve any useful purpose and, with my difficult children, it makes matters much worse. I always try to use a neutral and calm voice when they are out of control. If possible, I won't speak at all when they've lost it.</p><p></p><p>Similar to Linda, I give my difficult children two choices. They can do what is expected of them and enjoy positive consequences, or they can do as they choose and deal with the negative consequences.</p><p></p><p>This method has made a big difference in difficult child 1's behavior. difficult child 2 will still tantrum when dealing with the negative consequences of his poor choices. However, when he calms down, he truly does understand that he brought the consequences on himself.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I know how much it sucks!!! WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 16384, member: 3388"] I totally understand where you are coming from!!! Both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 blame me for everything negative that happens to them!!! I handle this similar to the way Linda does. I will not get into an argument with either one of them. Arguing with a difficult child does not serve any useful purpose and, with my difficult children, it makes matters much worse. I always try to use a neutral and calm voice when they are out of control. If possible, I won't speak at all when they've lost it. Similar to Linda, I give my difficult children two choices. They can do what is expected of them and enjoy positive consequences, or they can do as they choose and deal with the negative consequences. This method has made a big difference in difficult child 1's behavior. difficult child 2 will still tantrum when dealing with the negative consequences of his poor choices. However, when he calms down, he truly does understand that he brought the consequences on himself. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I know how much it sucks!!! WFEN [/QUOTE]
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