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<blockquote data-quote="Vanilla" data-source="post: 16385" data-attributes="member: 2026"><p>Terry, am VERY familiar with being blamed by difficult child. When he held a knife to me and his brother back in September, I called the police. He went to Juvenile Detention and is currently on probation. This is MY fault, in his view, because until the police intervened, "there was no crime." He refuses to acknowledge that he picked up a weapon to intimidate me into re-instating his guitar lessons and that the entire situation could have been averted by a better choice on his part. When he goes into one of his tirades about this all being "my fault" I simply respond that he made his choice and I made mine...not to be threatened or bullied into giving into compliance. I also tell him that people who constantly blame others are actually giving control of their lives to those others, in a sense being powerless to control outcomes. I don't know how much of this sinks in. He probably still blames me but he is the one with restrictions and public service hours to complete, not me. We also have to realize we cannot control how our G'sFG think about things...we just have to keep trying to help them accept responsibility as best we can. Good luck, I'm with ya! Vanilla</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Vanilla, post: 16385, member: 2026"] Terry, am VERY familiar with being blamed by difficult child. When he held a knife to me and his brother back in September, I called the police. He went to Juvenile Detention and is currently on probation. This is MY fault, in his view, because until the police intervened, "there was no crime." He refuses to acknowledge that he picked up a weapon to intimidate me into re-instating his guitar lessons and that the entire situation could have been averted by a better choice on his part. When he goes into one of his tirades about this all being "my fault" I simply respond that he made his choice and I made mine...not to be threatened or bullied into giving into compliance. I also tell him that people who constantly blame others are actually giving control of their lives to those others, in a sense being powerless to control outcomes. I don't know how much of this sinks in. He probably still blames me but he is the one with restrictions and public service hours to complete, not me. We also have to realize we cannot control how our G'sFG think about things...we just have to keep trying to help them accept responsibility as best we can. Good luck, I'm with ya! Vanilla [/QUOTE]
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