Blind Side

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Nomad, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I saw the movie.
    Liked the movie. A lot.
    Thought Sandra B. was excellent. Walked out feeling good.
    Liked that it was a true story.

    HOWEVER, my kid is adopted.
    My kid is not going to be in the NFL or the equivalent.
    And how many stories have we heard that have not ended this way or anything like it.
    Suppose I'm just being a grump.

    Who here saw the movie?
    What were your thoughts?

    I did wonder if it was too simplistic.

    Anyway...did you like the movie, any thoughts, esp. if you have adopted or foster kids. I DO think the movie is well worth seeing...really very very good.

    Side note:
    To the best of my knowledge, many professionals think when it comes to nature vs.'s 50/50. I have spoken with- some neurologists, who believe the brain (nature) wins out slightly. This is my perspective. I kinda see mental illness (for example) a little more akin to something like epilepsy. However, with- mental illness, environment can have an influence. What percentages we are talking about, I do not know. Perhaps no one knows for sure. So, many professionals say "50/50" and from what I can piece together, some scientists, think perhaps its a little more having to do with- biology.

    Here is a quote about the movie from the NY Times:
    "I always looked as this a nature versus nurture story," the movie's director, John Lee Hancock, said by phone. "This is a kid who was thrown on the scrap heap of life. Schools had thrown him along and an opportunity comes along for a roof, a place to stay and a chance to learn - and, lo and behold, the kid makes the dean's list.
    "I think this is a pretty strong case for nurture."

    Read more:

    Personally, I just think it is very complicated.
    Here this child was healthy, but originally was in an unhealthy environment.
    Sometimes, you can have an unhealthy person in a good environment, but they can not thrive because biologically they are unwell. That, I think, is difficult for people to "deal" with.
    Lasted edited by : Dec 7, 2009
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I havent seen it yet but it is the story of a guy who is currently playing in the NFL so I suppose they knew that going in so it isnt that much of a fairy tale ending. I think he plays for the Ravens if Im not mistaken.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am planning to go see this. Jess wants to see it too. I just admire, from the trailer and interviews I have seen, how the mom brought him home and did all she could to make him part of the family. It is one thing to take a child in, another to take a person who looks like a full grown adult. The risks with an older child are huge.

    We ALL know that there is more than nature or nurture. THis is a unique situation, but that doesn't mean it is less than a good show, or a good life for him.

    We could all compare our kids and say what if. But that won't help us or them. I guess I want to see it more as a celebration of what MIGHT happen.
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Excellent point...the "what ifs" don't help.
    We can chose to think healthy thoughts and move forward in a productive way and it starts with- our thoughts.

    The movie might tend to influence folks into feeling like nurture is the biggest factor of all...which is a comfortable way of thinking. (This is what the quote indicates).

    Do feel stronger that it is at least 50/50..and probably a bit of leaning the other way (nature being the stronger influence).

    Do think folks are uncomfortable thinking that we don't have total power...yet few really take full hold of the power they do have at their disposal.

    Well...excellent excellent point about letting go of the need to concern myself about my own difficult child's potential....already done!
    Lasted edited by : Dec 7, 2009
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He also was adopted by a family that had the means to get him whatever help he needed. That has to be a big factor as well. It's a Hollywood adaptation of a true story... haven't read the true story so don't know how much was left out.

    I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's getting great reviews AND a great turnout at the box office. Not all movies get to enjoy having BOTH things happen!
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It appears he is an awful lucky boy who had an underlying very awesome talent because no matter how much nurture those folks put into him, his talent had to get him into the NFL. Its all pretty amazing how that set of circumstances came together.
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Nature determines how high it is possible for you to fly. Nurture determines how close to your limits you can get.
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Well said, J3.
  9. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    What a lucky man. He found someone who cared for him. Don't give a squat about football, just nice seeing someone who finds a loving home.

  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Rodney Atkins is another feel-good story. He was a baby when adopted, but was very ill and had been returned by multiple families before joining the Atkins family. When he started singing, his manager advised him to change his name because it sounded too much like other singers, and he refused.
  11. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Will give that some serious thought 3J... Sooooo interesting....and makes soooo much sense. :D Thank you.:D
  12. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Okay....about 99% processed
    Nature determines how high it is possible for you to fly. Nurture determines how close to your limits you can get.

    And I think it is 99% accurate....but still does NOT take into account choice and/or free will.
    We can have a certain ability. We can be given certain opportunities.
    However, it is choice, not chance that determines our destiny (by and large).

    To make matters more complicated...I do wonder if it more difficult for our difficult children to make good choices....BUT I do think it is within their ability...just perhaps harder. Perhaps we might have to take this into consideration to be fair and reasonable. However, one can not do the hard work for another human being. One can not tip the balance and make things too easy for another. One can not tip the balance so far as to make life miserable for ourselves. It is NOT easy figuring out how to deal with- a difficult child. Not philosophically...not in any way at all.
  13. ML

    ML Guest

    One can not tip the balance and make things too easy for another. One can not tip the balance so far as to make life miserable for ourselves. It is NOT easy figuring out how to deal with- a difficult child. Not philosophically...not in any way at all.[/I][/QUOTE]

    This is soo true. The more we do to try and "help" the more we take away their power. Self confidence only comes by having your own experiences. We weaken another by doing for them as well as dishonor and disrespect them to boot.

    I'm working on more hands off and detachment in all areas of my personal life.
  14. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm looking forward to seeing this movie. Rob and Heather saw it last weekend and really enjoyed it.

    If we are having a "nature vs. nurture" discussion on this thread outside of the far as my experience is concerned, nurture can have some influence, but nature wins hands down.

  15. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    That's kinda how I see it too Suz. I do see the influence of nurture. I also see that each case is unique. However, my gut, experience and readings tells me that nature is the mightier influence of the two.

    In the case of the movie, if the young man had a strong genetic tendency toward alcoholism or had suffered from mental illness, the influence of his adopting parents would not have been as significant.

    The young man portrayed in the movie thought clearly, was able to shake off adversity and sadness...was quick to regroup mentally and physically, was patient, appreciative, hardworking, goal directed and willing and able to make changes.
    Lasted edited by : Dec 9, 2009