Board anti-jinx

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by PonyGirl, Oct 19, 2008.

  1. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Reading thru the positive news posts on the other thread, thought I'd try to counter-act the jinx with my own update.

    Warning: Not Great News :grey:

    Got the news from difficult child's girlfriend this weekend, difficult child is using and drinking again. Heavily. She is thinking of leaving him. She is worried that if she does leave, he will only spiral downward faster, farther.

    The Detached Mom Advice I gave her? "You. Can't. Save. Him."
    My friends, I told her, get out while the gettin's good. Don't wait til after the baby is born.

    I am heartbroken, yes. But I am trying to remain detached, and realistic. I was afraid difficult child had gone back to using, so I asked girlfriend straight out. She confirmed.

    I had truly hoped that pending fatherhood had given him the extra push he needed to make a good life for himself and his family. I was wrong. At least for now, it seems to have the opposite effect on him.

    On a bit of a happier note, they had an utrasound, and the baby is a BOY! :bigsmile: They have named him Julius Michael. :bravo: I am taking girlfriend to her next doctor. appointment. on Tuesday, and will get to hear my grandson's heartbeat!! :beautifulthing:

    So, please pray for difficult child, and girlfriend, and this Warrior Mom.

    There, take that - you board jinx! :bag:

  2. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    That must have been hard, but you gave her wonderful advice, Pony. It sounds like you will be a supportive and loving grandmother.

    And I know from experience that we grandmas can make all the difference in the world for our grandchildren!

    Your difficult child is still young. Do you think, if she leaves him now, that he will realize what he is doing and snap out of it? Out of all the times we gave our difficult child another chance, it was when we stopped giving him chances, sympathy, or money that he began making the necessary changes.

  3. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    PonyGirl, I'm so sorry. No matter how well we know that relapse is always a possibility, when it happens it just ****s. Has difficult child talked to you at all? Is there any indication that he may be receptive to encouragement about rehab?

    I'm glad your difficult child's girlfriend is talking to you and keeping you involved with her and the baby. You can be supports for each other and give little Julius Michael stability in his relationships. And that's a beautiful thing!
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm sorry, PG. He did so well for so long. No matter how strong you've become, this has to be disappointing (to say the least). I hope something clicks and turns him around again.

  5. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Hey Barbara, I don't know what could happen to snap him out of it or turn him around. But girlfriend (S) says she keeps telling difficult child she's going to leave if he doesnt shape up, and I told her, stop saying it, just do it.:byebye: Now, before the baby's born. Don't put yourself and the baby thru that extra stress. Make your own home, and if difficult child does manage to straighten himself out, he'll still have to go the extra mile.

    What a drag. :angrydude:

    But anyway: Who else LOVES the name Julius ??!!! :jumphappy: I absolutely adore that choice of name!

  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so sorry difficult child is using again. I think you gave girlfriend very sound advice. Sad all the way around though. I hope he turns back around again in the near future.

    Nice though that you and girlfriend get along well. And huge congrats on the soon to be grandson. Julius. Now there's a strong name. And hearing the heartbeat is just as cool when it's a grandchild as when it's your own baby. :D

  7. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    One of the most frustrating parts of recovery is relapse. Hopefully your son is able to right himself quickly.

    Congrats grandma. Being a grandma is by far one of life's greatest blessings!!
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Congrats on the baby. You will adore being a grandmother. It is the best. Sorry difficult child has relapsed. It is difficult to watch them struggle with addiction. Hugs
  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Pony, sorry to hear that your difficult child has relapsed. That really stinks.
    But ever so glad that you and girlfriend get along well. Your advice to her is spot-on. girlfriend really has to think about her baby to be right now, and difficult child needs to make his own decisions for good or ill.

    Julius. It is a very strong name. Congratulations on becoming a grandmother.

  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Awww sorry...sigh.

    Glad you will get to be a part of the baby's life though right from this beginning. I love the name!