bond hearing Friday!

[standswithcourage]

Sometimes I just feel so utterly sad for the whole situation. I wish something else could have happened beside this. Maybe we tried too soon - I dont know. It is just the pits when you think he has spent this much time behind bars and not living. He told me not long ago that he missed his life - it made my heart sad but it is his life - he keeps messing it up.

 

[CrazyinVA]

I understand, Stands. I was feeling the same way about my Oldest last night, and some things she's into right now. The sadness is part of the grieving process for who our children used to be. Dont beat yourself up.. honestly I believe that NOTHING you could have done would have helped here. You ought to know by now, after years of al-anon, that it's beyond our control, we are helpless when it comes to another's addiction.

Repeat that serenity prayer to yourself over and over. Take care of YOU, now, and focus on your other children. Your difficult child is in a safe(r) place.

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

I just saw this post, and I wanted to send you a big hug, Stands. You are going through such a tough time, but in my humble opinion you are doing a good job, learning as you go along. Tough love is so hard. Being a parent of a difficult child is just the pits. Thank heavens you have those two other great kids. I wish you all the best of luck.

Love, Esther

 

[standswithcourage]

I just want to say thank you to all those that have replied to my post. I appreciate the encouraging words.

 

[ScentofCedar]

Thinking of you, Stands.

And of your son.

Barbara

 

[Star*]

Stands -

Hi. I was thinking about that check of his - and wondering if you sent it to the jail just HOW he thought he would get it cashed from there? Wondering if he thinks he's going to sign it - you take it somewhere and cash it and then send him the money or bond him out with-his money? Sometimes I wonder if our boys think beyond the end of their nose.

And you are so lucky to have all your kids, espiecially if you get to actually enjoy two others that are easy child. I just keep hoping that the one I have gets to that point. lol. For now I have to be okay with the fact that the only easy child in our house is the dog.

I don't know about tough love - I've said before that it seemed to me that it was harder on me, and I was the one who actually learned from it. I can tell you it hurts, and it is not easy.

Hugs -
Star

 

[witzend]

I don't know about tough love - I've said before that it seemed to me that it was harder on me, and I was the one who actually learned from it. I can tell you it hurts, and it is not easy.

Did it make your life better for you and others around you, Star?

 

[standswithcourage]

Well I am not Star but I will answer from my view point - that is the only way I was able to do tough love and that was because it gave us part of our sanity back - if we would have kept on going like we were going - my marriage would have ended and we would be living probably with my Dad and sister now - I cant even imagine that - it has been hard for us but it gave us the opportunity to know that we mattered too - especially when there were other children involved. My two cents.