Book ideas for social skills and self-esteem

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterbee, Nov 12, 2007.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    difficult child will not participate in therapy. She becomes very angry and agitated and says "There's nothing wrong with me". In addition, she kind of falls into this gap. She doesn't have an autism diagnosis to get any of those services and she's not violent, so finding groups for social skills training has been hard. The only time she had such a group was with her therapist who got together a few of her patients (girls group and boys group). It fell apart because at one time or another people didn't attend and often this group consisted of only 2 girls at a time.

    So, I need some help. I've been looking for resources that I can use to help her, but I figured I would ask on here for some tried and true resources.

    She really doesn't see the world the way you and I do. I tend to forget that because she compensates so well, but then we have a conversation like we did last night and it really highlights the issue. She does not see how her actions prompt the response they do. Then she is devastated because she has such a hard time making friends.

    Any suggestions are welcome.

  2. ShakinThingzUp

    ShakinThingzUp New Member

    I am at work, so I don't have the book with me to get you the title, but will try to locate it tonight..... I found a book a few years ago at Barnes N Noble that was all about teaching social skills - it had worksheets and activities that teachers and parents could do with the kids to help them learn social skills. I will try to find it and post the title tomorrow.

    Also, my daughters counselor gave us a worksheet to use with her daily that helped her recognize what she was doing - because she did so much to her friends and didn't realize it was pushing them away.

    It was done like a check list - she was to read the "item" and check whether or not her actions that day helped to MAKE friends or to LOSE friends.

    The items on the list ranged from:
    Did I argue with my friends today
    Did I try to talk to someone new today
    Was I nice to someone I did not know

    there was much more but I can't remember them off the top of my head. I will try to find both..... I can perhaps post a link to the worksheet - I believe I have it on photobucket........ will get back to you tomorrow.

    Hang in there!!
    God Bless!
  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! I picked up a book during the summer called "Social Stories".

    Now don't go run out and buy the book. Since your difficult child isn't autistic, this will be such a basic book (brushing teeth, taking a shower, etc) that it won't give you much that you can really bite your teeth into.

    Make sure that each story is written with a positive thrust. I started writing them for difficult child 1 and gave them to his therapist to check out. Once I finish them, I'm going to illustrate them with some graphics and actually make a book for him. Alright: THEORETICALLY, I'll make a book for him! I'd be happy to share. Just let me know.

    Keep in mind, most of our kids have the self-esteem of a gnat. Positive reinforcement is really key, but with sincerity. difficult child 1 will call me on it if it seems phoney! Lil' bugger!!!

    Let me know if I can help!

  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I have an idea on a 'larger' scale - than maybe just for Grace - I've thought about this quite a bit - I'm going to post it it water cooler and see if it floats or sinks - but I had Grace in mind too.
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Amy - Thanks so much. That is exactly what I'm looking for - something that has activities that I can do with her. I would love to see the worksheets. She sees things very black and white so having it in writing in front of her will really help her.

    Beth - I'll look at the site later...I'm jumping on here while difficult child is taking a break from schoolwork. Thanks for that! Anything will help. I just need help breaking it down for her. We forget how second nature these things are and trying to break it down in a way she can understand is what I really struggle with. If you wouldn't mind sharing your stories, I would love to see them. Thanks!
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I have looked high and low, and not found any that seemed appropriate for our kiddos age, but it has been awhile since I last looked. Have you done a simple search on Amazon? They let you read pages, and excerpts on Amazon now, before you even buy the books. (As you probably already knew.)
    Good Luck
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    There is a large book called "Social Stories" by Carol Grey that has been helpful. It goes across the age spectrum. I found it's step by step instructions very helpful.
    We also did role playing when difficult child had to be in a situation that he was at ease with such as conversation with strangers that are his age or how to greet an adult, shake hands, appropriate introductions etc.
    It just doesn't get absorbed like easy child absorbs the info.
  8. ShakinThingzUp

    ShakinThingzUp New Member

    Here's the book:

    Social Skills Activities for Special Children (Paperback)
    by Darlene Mannix (Author)

    Can be purchased from for less than $20.

    I'm working on a copy of the worksheet.

    God Bless!
  9. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

  10. tclk3

    tclk3 New Member

    I am the parent of a 16 year old Asperger's son as well as a Special Education teacher. I teach a high school social skills and communication class. Here are a few of the books that I use to teach my class:

    The Power of Social Skills in Charater Development - Helping Diverse Learners Succeed
    By Jennifer Scully This is the one I use the most.

    Social Skills Lessons & Activities for grade 7 - 12
    by Ruth Weltman Begun

    Connecting With Others: Lessons for teaching Social & Emotional Competence Grades 6-8 and Grades 9-12 (2 different books) by Rita Richardson & Elizabeth Evans

    Social Skills Trainning for Children & Adolescents with Aspergers Syndrome by Jed Baker

    Preparing For Life
    By Jed Baker

    Do-Watch-Listen-Say: Social and Communication Intervention for Childrern with Autism By Kathleen Ann Quill

    All of these bools have individual lessons and activities. I have found them to be very useful. Even though some of these are Middle or High School oriented, all of them can be adapted for younger children. You can find them on Amazon or just google the titles. Hope this helps.
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Thanks so much! I knew the 'experts' here would be able to point me in the right direction.
  12. Marty D.

    Marty D. New Member

    I am new to the site, but I am looking for some resources and/or recommendations for my ADHD daughter-10 years old. She lacks close friends, in spite of a very sweet nature, in part I think because of her difficulty starting and maintaining conversations. She instead acts inappropriate to get a laugh from a group and I've noticed the neighborhood girls avoiding her, even though she hasn't. I worry that she'll develop a reputation as being "wierd" in school, but talking to her doesn't make much impact. If anyone has any suggestions for me, I'd be very grateful.