I just wanted to recommend a book I found and read recently: "Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents." I've not seen it mentioned here before so thought I'd share. http://www.amazon.com/Setting-Bound...kCode=wsw&tag=condudisor08-20&creative=391881 I found this book very helpful, with solid advice and lots of affirmation when it comes to having to say "no" to our adult children who seem bent on self-destruction. I like that it has many real-life anecdotes, including the author's opening story of being in her son's apartment after the SWAT team stormed it and arrested her son. What a way to start a book; it got my attention. I will point out that it is written from a Christian perspective (it quotes the Cloud/Townsend book often), and if that bothers you it may not be for you, but the "tough love" principles are solid and apply no matter what your beliefs.